Whose choice?

Ed's mum · Post by **Ed's mum** » Tue May 26, 2009 2:38 pm

I'm sure that I have explained to you before Tipsy that it is not possible to send EITHER of your boys to a school for girls - even if it does have the kudos you seek!!!

guest42 · Post by **guest42** » Tue May 26, 2009 2:42 pm

For what it's worth I made it clear to my DD that as a CHILD there are certain important decisions in which parents have the final say..and a secondary school is one of them. End of discussion

T.i.p.s.y · Post by **T.i.p.s.y** » Tue May 26, 2009 2:45 pm

G42 that is exactly what OH says but I don't know what's come over me recently. This site must be making me soft!

Ed's mum · Post by **Ed's mum** » Tue May 26, 2009 2:52 pm

Ed wanted to go to the local comprehensive school. We took him to see it along with the out of catchment GS and two independent schools. We knew which one we wanted him to attend and had good reasons for our choices. His choice was the only one which was not acceptable to us. Eventually, after (husband and I) speaking highly of our top choice, and speaking much less favourably about his choice, he came round to our way of thinking.

Your child needs to be happy at school, but as parents we generally know best. He IS just a child and does not have the life experience to know all the implications of huge decisions such as this one. That said, as mentioned by another on this thread, if you are happy about either school it perhaps does not matter if your son has the final choice.

T.i.p.s.y · Post by **T.i.p.s.y** » Tue May 26, 2009 2:58 pm

In your situation Ed's mum, DS would not have had any say!

I do wish it was more clear cut for us and we would be thrilled if he ended up at either. Decisions, decisions...

Snowdrops · Post by **Snowdrops** » Tue May 26, 2009 2:59 pm

You said it yourself Tipsy 'We'd be thrilled if he ended up at either'

In that case, let the lad have the last say!!

KES Parent · Post by **KES Parent** » Tue May 26, 2009 3:04 pm

Tipsy, why not let me choose? I say Winchester!

Freya · Post by **Freya** » Tue May 26, 2009 4:21 pm

Hi Tipsy

If either school would be acceptable to you I would allow DS to choose. We adopted this approach with our DS (once we had weaned him off the idea of the local comp where lots of his friends were going!

)

I think that it is important (if possible) for DC to have a stake in their own futures. My experience is that if in this way they take on some responsibility for their studies then the keener they are to engage and the more determined they are to work through any teething problems. (Rather than say 'I hate this school, I told you I wouldn't like it etc etc')

Once you have all settled on whichever school, you will all be much happier! It will be a big weight off all your shoulders!

Chelmsford mum · Post by **Chelmsford mum** » Tue May 26, 2009 6:08 pm

Hi Tipsy,

I'm with Freya

If you really , truly would be as happy with either school, why not let him choose? Unless of course there are aspects of the ethos that you do not feel would sit well with his personality.But you don't seem to be saying that so let him decide and it is one less thing for him to blame you for in teenage years.

T.i.p.s.y · Post by **T.i.p.s.y** » Tue May 26, 2009 6:15 pm

What I am saying (I think), and the Headmaster has said is that DS will do well at both schools but I think he is more suited to the one he doesn't want to go to.

Unfortunately I agree with everyones points!