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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 10:28 pm 
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DP, DC and I went on an open day to a selective independent school recently. With us on the tour was around 4 or 5 other mothers and DC.

One mother in particular seemed deeply concered that the said school had 10+ arrangements for children from state primary schools. Another mother seemed very exercised in questions that the selective secondary school said they were keen to take children from less advantaged backgrounds - and both bombared the deputy head in questions as to why their uniformed, prep school kids were being "disadvantaged" by the schools's admissions priorities.

Is it typical that prep school mums generally feel that their little darlings are more deserving of a place at a top selective school than equally bright - and perhaps better behaved boys and girls - from state schools.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 10:48 pm 
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Hmmmmmmm :?

All of my children are at state schools.The eldest is at grammar with the middle to follow in Sept.
I suspect that the parents you encountered are representative of some parents at indep schools but by no means all.
It's fear talking.It's believing the worst stereotypes of state school children.Hopefully experience will educate the ignorant out of their prejudice.
There is prejudice on both sides though too.Not all indep pupils are called Cordelia and own a pony.Not all indep parents are snobs.
My middle DD has had a hard week this week.She is the only child going to grammar and has had to deal with comments about her becoming a snob because she is going to grammar.

I have lovely friends whose children are at indep schools.I have lovely friends whose children go to the local state comp.People are a mixed bunch.

Harper Lee said" prejudice is born of ignorance and fear".We can only do our best to combat it when we encounter it.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 10:58 pm 
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Chelmsford mum - thank you; of course you are right.

Perhaps it was just the group on that school tour that felt their prep school educated darlings were, by right or perhaps by birth or perhaps by money, should get the selective secondary school place ahead of others.

It's is bit like the arugment you see on this site that universities are favouring state educated children over and above private schools. IME universities are seeking to get the brightest of the particular cohort and that doesn't necessarily equate with the privately educated.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 11:21 pm 
I think you've answered yor own question. Out of 6 parents (including you) only 2 asked these questions so clearly it is not common if the majority did not.

Of course this mother in question may have been asking if a child already in the school would not get a place at 11+ over someone else coming in. It is of my opinion that if you have supported a school by sending DC to the prep then you should automatically gain entrance to the senior school. This is not a case of "my little darling" but more if a school purports to care about children then they should not throw them out aged 11. But this is another argument.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 11:50 pm 
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Tipsy - the prep school children - in their braided over elaborate uniforms - were not from a school associated with the secondary selective schools. It wasn't so much that there was 2 mums raising the questions but rather the intensity and incredulity with which they challenged the deputy head as to why, on earth, they would want to level the playing field with state primary educated children vis a vis their prep school offspring ( level the playing field in terms of a 10+ exam only for state educated pupils)

When the deputy replied that the school was seeking to cater for the top 15% of the cohort it was rather embarrassing to watch the prep school parents have challenged their assumption that only privately educated 8 and 9 years olds were worthy of a place at this presitgious selective secondary school.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 12:02 am 
Ealingmum, I cannot take your post at face value. You clearly went into the situation ready to pick holes and your comments show this. Clearly you have an issue with independent schools, so see what you want to see if it makes you feel justified about your decision for DC schooling.

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in their braided over elaborate uniforms


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and perhaps better behaved boys and girls - from state schools.


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why their uniformed, prep school kids


What do you need to keep mentioning uniforms? :?


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 8:11 am 
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Location: groombridge, e.sussex
As a parent of a DD about to start at indie after primary years in our village school (fab by the way) I hope I don't come across any other parents who are focussed on what children wear and where they live. I have already met a Mum whose DD is in the junior part of the indie and will be in my DD's year and she seemed really "normal" and said that her DD and others were looking forward to the new children starting in Sept, she certainly wasn't concerned where DD is currently at school. In fact she wished they had the same excellent school local to them!
Let's not sterotype any body. There will always be those who feel hard done by whatever happens and as adults we have to show our DC that this will happen in all walks of life. Ignore it, most people are there for the same reasons as us, to get their child the best education they can.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 8:18 am 
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Ealingmum
If you mentioned which school it is, that might shed a little more light on the subject (girls only, London, perchance?).
Also, have to agree with TIPSY, you have set this up as a question, yet you appear to have already settled on an answer no more enlightened than the mums you refer to.

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Exams are formidable for the best prepared. The greatest fool may ask what the wisest man cannot answer.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 9:09 am 
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My advice Ealingmum is that you obviously have bad vibes about this indie school especially as it appears it may be overrun with prep school children in over elaborately braded uniforms whose parents you believe think they have bought the right to be there! I feel that you, with your expressed observations, should steer well clear and go for something where parents have similar views to you generally and yoiu will feel a lot happier about the situation. I am sure there are many other schools in your vicinity to be able to give your child the best education that you can.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 9:17 am 
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I can see your point, Ealingmum. What guides the thinking of those mummies is the idea that in sending their children to a private school, they might not in fact be keeping them away from the great unwashed. I can cite many instances of this, both from experiences with my own kids growing up & now even more so, my grandkids. I teach a swimming club & some of the things I hear are both hilarious and worrying - how about these, for starters?

'Oh well, it's sad Holly didn't make it to (Grammar school) but you know the girls there have become terribly slaggy of late - she'll be with a much nicer set at (private school)'

'I certainly would be very angry if I thought that state kids were getting any advantage over mine - we have paid for years, after all!'

Hmmm. It does worry me that my sensitive granddaughter will be going to a school where - and let's be very frank here - most of the parents are rich. One set, for example, are spending the next two weeks being wined & dined by RBS at Wimbledon (cost? £19.000 a day +) and the talk will be full of that when the two girls meet up next week.

I know there will be a few - about two or three to a class, I reckon - who will be struggling, but the rest will mostly have two homes, three cars etc. Comment from child in my GD's primary school class who will also be going private (family is rich) on visiting GD's home? 'OOh Holly, your house is sooo tiny, it's just like a doll's house!'


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