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PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 10:53 pm 
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And how does it affect the children if at all ?

We have been offered a very generous bursary from an excellent school but even with that in place it will be a huge struggle, literally 100% of my income, hubs has been made redundant.
We bought our house at the wrong time, first time buyers at the age 40 due to 2nd marriages, no family money or other help. The picture is bleak.
However we don't feel our children are reaching their full potential in state school, our youngest is in a class with a girl who is violent and swears which frightens her.
And here's the biggie our eldest child basically doesn't like other children unless they are on her same level, much prefers adult company.
She is achieving level 4's in English in year 4 so academically I'm not worried but it's everything else socially and music/sport I feel she's missing out on although the state school offer them she never seems to want to get involved.
So the point of my rambling on, do people think that my daughter is more likely to find somebody she'll click with in a private, academic school and will the fact that we don't ski/our house isn't huge & fancy likely to be held against them ?


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 10:58 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:47 am
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Location: Warwickshire.
Hi Katie, and welcome to the forum!

The topics of wealth, independent schools and bursaries can be quite contentious. For this reason I shall PM you with my family's experiences.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:10 pm 
If you want to PM me I can try and give you some advice on the school you have chosen and how "quirky" children fair in differing independent schools. :)


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:16 pm 
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Hi KatieDD

I don't think relative degrees of wealth should make a difference in private schools - though I suspect it depends on the private school in question!

I could quite easily afford the private school fees (used private schools at primary level only), but drove the oldest car with the mega mileage, don't spend a packet on clothes - went skiing once 35 years ago and didn't like it. In all honesty I don;t think these things made much difference to the kids who can see through much of the showier side of wealth.

One Kid said to her mum "well it is either books or looks" ie academic and working or spending the money on appearance. Interesting thought.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:21 pm 
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I suspect we must be in this position but please do not worry.We had DD1 at private school for 2 years to give her a good chance at secondary school and her work came on in leaps and bounds. We eventually sent DD2 to a private prep school in the January of year4 because she was not being stretched in the class at a good state primary.
We have just removed DS from year 3 at a state primary which is at the top of the Sunday Times best schools list because we are fed up with him being told he is "brilliant " for manifestly mediocre work and we are painfully aware that as far as the 11+ is concerned he needs to wrk harder and to a higher standard.
At our particular private prep we do realise that we are socially inferior!!!!??!
My friends tell me that until I get a boob job, dye myself orange, holiday in the Caribbean, obtain a personalised numberplate for my downmarket peugeot and swop DH for a newer model ( so that I can entertain the playground with tales of my and my viscious solicitors fight for maintenance)
I do not have a chance of social acceptance!!
Seriously, there are plenty of lovely people in amongst the horrible social climbers and it is not compulsory to have a tawdry affair with another pupil's father despite appearances to the contrary!!


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:22 pm 
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Thank you for the replies, I really wasn't expecting any so quickly :D
I think you hit the nail on the head HM, at the state school they are currently at their are lots of posh cars and well turned out mums who seem more interested in their (and the children's) appearance.
Hopefully at this school there will be some "old money" as they tend to be less flashy I think ???


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:29 pm 
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Katie, you may well find at the prep school there are quite a few parents working quite hard to pay the fees and not able to spend mega bucks on other things. Lots of them are really nice.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:32 pm 
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oh yes Magwich2 - the wife swapping - I had forgotten!!!! gets terribly complicated at the end of year concerts ........


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:42 pm 
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Location: Warwickshire.
hermanmunster wrote:
oh yes Magwich2 - the wife swapping - I had forgotten!!!! gets terribly complicated at the end of year concerts ........


I knew I should have attended the last concert!! (Why did no one tell me about this? Do we get to choose?)


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:52 pm 
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oh no - more to do with who sits where and who does or doesn't sit with whom and which siblings sit with which parent .....


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