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 Post subject: How to afford it
PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 12:22 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2009 8:29 am
Posts: 116
Am I missing something or are fees for most schools prohibitively expensive?

I live in Kent and hoping, fingers and everything else crossed, that DS passes 11 plus and gets into GS. In fact we moved here so he could go to GS and he's a very smart kid so we expect that's what will happen...hopefully.

But have been checking out indie fees too. Also I went to independent school and, sadly, I'm getting the message from my mother that she considers nothing else is good enough, can't understand why we're not planning on DS going to indie school etc. Never mind that the fees would be DOUBLE our mortgage! In fact I feel I'm being manipulated by her into considering something that seems to me like financial ruin.

She's offering to chip in but has done this before (kids are at private primary) then hasn't always come up with the cash. Also I HATE feeling I must depend on her, plus all the strings she attaches, if there are any family rows then the money dries up! Message from my mum is that clearly she has not got her money's worth from all those fees she paid for me.

Yes, OK, I'm a failure...DH and I both have good jobs, work hard, but are not bankers or lawyers. Also I could work more - I do 3 or 4 days a week - but then I wouldn't be around for the kids!

One more thing...I'm hoping GS will be a more rounded experience for DS than indie..which I'm afraid makes some people terrible snobs!

Is there some magic way that people can afford indie fees other than living on gruel, working all hours God sends and never taking a holiday again or bank robbing?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 12:28 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 3:06 pm
Posts: 126
Location: Herts
I went to an Indie, too, but I never became a lawyer. In fact, I know lots of us who are working as teaching assistants to fit in with school hours...

I think my mum would have been better off putting the fees into a building society and handing me the cash when I left school ;)

If you can afford it, fair enough, but why stress about it if your child gets into a good school. Of course, if they don't, then that's another matter.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 12:38 pm 
I your mum says she'll pay then let her sign the contract with the school - second and third parties can be made liable for the fees if they put their name down. TBH I don't know why you are stressing as you seem to prefer GS and don't want Mother to hold the strings so you have your answer. :) I wish I had mine! :roll:

As for living on gruel, then yes some do that to send their kids to inde's but most people who send their kids to inde's are wealthy enough to afford it.


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 Post subject: Re: How to afford it
PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 12:50 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 9:43 am
Posts: 360
testbuster wrote:
I'm hoping GS will be a more rounded experience for DS than indie..which I'm afraid makes some people terrible snobs!


I think it depends on the school. The indies I attended were pretty mixed and laid back, the indie prep DC went to was pretty snooty (or rather, a section of the parents were), whilst the grammar DC now attend is less snooty than the prep although (or because?) the parents, on average, have more to be snooty about (but are mostly too nice to be so)!

Re the main point of your post, with a bright child and anxieties about payment, I'd go all out for grammar, but also investigate backups (I presume you've looked at scholarships/bursaries) just in case.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 12:51 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2009 8:29 am
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Yes, I don't want her pulling the strings and although I suspect the education is better at independent school I also know what we can afford!

I don't think there's much chance of developing a ruthless mean streak and bullying my way to a vast salary in my job in the next few months, despite my private education!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 12:54 pm 
I have found more snooty and clique parents in the playground of village state schools than I have at private school.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 12:57 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2009 8:29 am
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I wasn't thinking of the parents, more my own independently educated brother!! :shock:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 1:00 pm 
testbuster wrote:
I wasn't thinking of the parents, more my own independently educated brother!! :shock:


...and your mother? :wink:

Send DS to GS and enjoy not having to worry about school fees! :)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 1:03 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:27 am
Posts: 2086
Location: Barnet, Herts
Hear hear! I was afraid of snobbery when DS started at indie last year , having gone to state primary. However, all his friends come from comfortable, middle-class families with the odd exception ( ex- Arsenal player's son etc). They all seem fairly down to earth and Ds fits in really well.
Don't worry, I think you would find just as many problems at grammar school where a lot of children have been tutored extensively to pass the 11 plus ( my local example is QE Boys School).
If my DS had passed for a grammar school which wasn't fiercely super-selective then that's where he would have gone, we had no alternatives - hence private school fees! :roll:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 1:03 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2009 8:29 am
Posts: 116
I think he'd enjoy us having some money to take him to see other countries!

Of course, if he should fail :oops: then it'll be plan B....remortgage!

BTW if I had to choose between Eton, Westminster and Winchester, I'd go for Westminster. I have a good friend who went there, very interesting and intelligent!


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