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 Post subject: Open Day panic
PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:00 pm 
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Joined: Mon Apr 06, 2009 7:31 pm
Posts: 445
Location: East Lancs
It's the open day at the indie that DD wants to go to tomorrow, I've got to admit I'm dreading it :? I feel like we will be totally out of place. I'm panicking over what to wear, how to act, what to say :( We live on benefits as I've been disabled since I was 13 and my OH is my full time carer and I'm having a total crisis of confidence. I'm only going for DD's benefit as she is a very bright girl but we don't live in catchment for any Grammars and the local schools are terrible.
She loves the look of the school in the prospectus, but her only chance to go is a 100% bursary. I feel like we're taking her to show her a great school and then going to say "Great isn't it, shame you can't go cos we're poor." (not that I would ever say that but she understands our situation)
I don't know what to do for the best.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:06 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:47 am
Posts: 3310
Location: Warwickshire.
I felt like that too. It worked out well for us, fortunately.

Go there and be yourselves. Enquire about scholarships/bursaries whilst there if you can, or get the email address or contact number of the bursar/registrar. Be honest with your daughter about the likelihood of attending the school but agree to exhaust every (legitimate) avenue to get her into the school.

GOOD LUCK. This was me and my son two years ago.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:12 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 07, 2009 10:14 am
Posts: 938
Nathair I understand exactly how you feel. I felt just the same when I took my son to look round an independent school (and I've taught in them!) If your daughter's very bright then they may well give her a bursary so please don't panic and just try to take one step at a time. :) It's good that your daughter understands the situation.
For what it's worth my son passed the entrance exam but it was for Year 6 and they don't offer bursaries in the junior school so we turned it down. The Head then wrote back saying what a loss our son would be and encouraging us to reapply this year for the senior school where bursaries were available. We're waiting to see how he does in his 11 plus first though, especially as for us it would only be a small bursary. :(
You're doing this for your daughter and there's no harm in exploring options!
I'm sure there are also other sources of funding for which you could apply which others will know more about.
Good luck!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:13 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:20 pm
Posts: 4660
We felt like fish out of water when we visted the indies last year too.

I have to say I was more than surprised at the cars which turned up on the open day, in fact ours was one of the better ones - felt quite posh really :oops:

Just go along and be yourselves, no-one is going to judge you all they are interested in is your daughter's education.

Most people turned up in jeans and jumper (men) or skirts/dresses - I went for a long black velvet coat, reckoned it covered up everything and they couldn't tell what the underneath (ie: me!!) was like :lol: :lol:

As for showing your daughter something which she possibly cannot have, well, all you can do is explain to her it's an outside chance that she'll get in and you (as a family) can only try your best.

If your daughter does well at the entrance exams I'm sure you'll stand a good chance - in fact I hope you are offered the GS AND the indie, then there'll be hard choices to make :)

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:19 pm 
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Joined: Mon Apr 06, 2009 7:31 pm
Posts: 445
Location: East Lancs
Thanks everyone, a few deep breathes needed I think. I'm really quite shy and hate these kinds of things but I wouldn't be doing it if there wasn't a chance (keep telling myself that)

Snowdrops wrote:

If your daughter does well at the entrance exams I'm sure you'll stand a good chance - in fact I hope you are offered the GS AND the indie, then there'll be hard choices to make :)


Oh I hope so Snowdrops, that would be the kind of tough choice I would love to have to make.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:23 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:47 am
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Location: Warwickshire.
Quote:
Snowdrops wrote:


If your daughter does well at the entrance exams I'm sure you'll stand a good chance - in fact I hope you are offered the GS AND the indie, then there'll be hard choices to make

Quote:
Oh I hope so Snowdrops, that would be the kind of tough choice I would love to have to make.


Trust me, it CAN happen just like that!!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:40 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 8:29 pm
Posts: 92
Location: the seaside
This was us last year! I am a lone parent (not by choice though, sadly) and my Ds wanted to look around an indie school near us which was the best in the area. We went along, feeling very apprehensive about what it would be like, and we couldn't believe how normal everyone was! Not at all what I had expected!! I told him it was unlikely that he would be able to go there but DS sat the exam and we were lucky enough to be offered a scholarship which enabled him to start there in September. He has taken to it like a duck to water and loves every minute so I would advise you and your DC to stay positive and believe that dreams can come true! :D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:42 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:27 am
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Location: Barnet, Herts
Don't worry -there will be lots of people milling around so noone will take any notice of what you are wearing.
In my experience , the more wealthy people are the scruffier they are!! With a few exceptions ( footballer's wives etc ! :roll: )
When your DD actually attends the school , that's when you start panicking! But even then , after a while you stop worrying.
Good luck with the Open day and more good luck for the exam and entrance process.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 11:00 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 5:27 pm
Posts: 3445
Location: london
well done for ensuring your dd understands. Don't worry about the whole OE thing. I hate all those unnatural social situations but in my experience jeans are fine and most people are totally uninterested in others, whatever the school. IMO it gests easier once you are in...picked three kids up at 6.30 am this week (to go swimming) in my pyjamas and dirty teeth (sorry) because I was NOT going to wake up earlier than I needed too. Other parents hugely grateful I bothered to get up at all!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 11:56 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:51 am
Posts: 8112
agreed!


Nathair, bets thing is to be confident in yourself, anyone who judges others by what they wear is ... a pain! The important thing is to enjoy the trip - believe me the indie will be falling over themselves to make you welcome!


anyway still have KFC for the 11+ results .... :wink:


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