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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 1:30 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:47 am
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Location: Warwickshire.
My daughter had her 'taster day' at Ed's school yesterday...

When we were looking at schools for Ed, anything was possible and to be considered. This time our hands are more tied due to wanting to provide both children with comparable opportunities and the logistics of not trying to spread ourselves too thinly re travel and locations.

Anyway, she came away from the school absolutely buzzing and does not want to consider any other school (of course we will have to apply to others). In my heart I don't want to consider any other school either, but this would be far too risky. She is the last one of 5 children in our family to go through this, and the other four are all at the same school.

Roll on February/March...

How have others coped with school choices once they have already 'placed' a previous child? Especially if you know that the current child is of similar ability? Have you found it more stressful?

(PS Thank you to Sassie's Dad's daughter. Apparently she made an excellent and friendly guide. Small world!)


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 2:14 pm 
We are in a slightly different position but it is similarly stressful. The school we have picked for DS1 is notoriously difficult to get into and there are only a few that match it in terms of fame and prestige. Fame and prestige is not the reason for choosing a school and if it turns out not to be right for DS2 then I wouldn't send him but we are worried how it will affect DS2 if his brother goes to Eton and he does not get in. We assummed that brothers' automatically would be offered a place if they passed the academic assessment but we have told this is not the case and the top candidates will be offered the place. If I had known this I may have made some different decisions but it is too late now. DS2 has two years until the test and his prep school is not as academically strong as DS1's so we are concerned. :(

On a brighter note DS2 is rebellious and always wants to go to the school that I don't want him to go to! :roll:

Ed's mum, please try not to worry. Your family has great connections with the school and it is highly unlikely that they won't give DD a place or a bursary. As long as Ed behaves :wink: you are in a stronger position than all the other appllicants. Hold onto that thought! :)


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 2:44 pm 
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In some respects it is easier to have a clear path and that your DD is able to go to the same school as DS (subject to exams and interview of course) but I don't envy you - I've always been a hedge better......like to have several options hence my DS sat 4 entrance exams and attended 4 interviews. My second DC - my DD, is not as confident as DS and so she would not be able to cope with more than one exam and interview (DS took whole thing as a great experience and loves exams - his words!) so we are going to have to choose the school carefully and just go for it. So I think in answer to your question for me/us it is that it is a case of harder second time around. Also I am rather weary of the whole school choosing/exam thing and just not as enthusiastic as i was first time around......note to self ....must change to more positive attitude for sake of DD.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 5:44 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:47 am
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Location: Warwickshire.
Interesting comments so far.

Unfortunately, and I have proof, there is no kind of advantage for my daughter in having relations already there. I am just as likely as anyone else to be reporting back in February that she does not have a place.

Also, the ratio is 55/45 boys to girls - so it's a bit tougher for girls to gain a place (well done to Sassie again!) (Imagine a 'nervous breakdown' emoticon inserted here!)


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 6:15 pm 
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Location: london
Ed's mum wrote:
Interesting comments so far.

Unfortunately, and I have proof, there is no kind of advantage for my daughter in having relations already there. I am just as likely as anyone else to be reporting back in February that she does not have a place.

Also, the ratio is 55/45 boys to girls - so it's a bit tougher for girls to gain a place (well done to Sassie again!) (Imagine a 'nervous breakdown' emoticon inserted here!)


Ditto Ed's mum...hideous with DD2 as it all seems to matter more and she is much more aware of the whole thing than DD1 was. What's more if she is successful I have no idea how we will be able to pay for it...so I guess every cloud has a silver (financial) lining!

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 6:35 pm 
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Location: Chelmsford and pleased
Much worse with the second one as she felt she had big shoes to fill and would have judged herself poorly had she not lived up to them.

Feeling sorry for your poor daughter.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 07, 2009 7:16 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:32 pm
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Location: East Kent
single sex grammars

1 girl
1 boy

simples!!


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 2:15 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 05, 2005 3:01 pm
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Location: Richmond
Totally agree much more stressful with second! With first, nothing to lose - with second - younger DC wants to go to elder's school which is highly competitive, and no sibling advantage - we have seen able siblings not get places in previous years. What makes it worse is that DS2 has some classmates with very pushy parents who are determined to get their DC into that school. No issue to us if they get in and DS2 does (or if he had been the first witout a brother there), but if they do and he doesn't they are the type of boys who will crow & brag :( and make DS2 feel completely wretched.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 2:39 pm 
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Location: Berkshire
Far harder with second and subsequent children, in my opinion.
Not getting last child in felt and on some days still feels like being hit by a train and the wish that we had never gone down this route is always in my mind.
Strangely now third child who will go into 6th form next year is now considering transferring to youngests comprehensive, I think through her personal fear of being alone at school with no family there as she has always had at least a sister at the same school. Trying really hard not to pressurise her into going to this school though, but when I feel mad enough...... :twisted:


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 08, 2009 3:10 pm 
I totally disagree with schools that do not have a sibling policy. As long as siblings pass the school paper they should get priority over other applicants. Obviously if they do not pass then they shouldn't get a place but schools should be more holisitic and think of the impact on the current sibling and family if the second sibling does not get in. Even in practical terms the current siblings day may lengthen if they need to find their own way to school if schools are at the opposite ends of the town and this could impact their schoolwork and stress levels.


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