Reluctant Child

Independent Schools as an alternative to Grammar

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mm3
Posts: 25
Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2008 12:02 pm

Post by mm3 »

Having slept on this - I think that the last poster is right. Take the opportunity whilst it is there - you can always move if it doesn't work out. It is a great school. It is high achieving, and can be stressful - but they have a very careful selection process, and they chose your daughter. THe upside of high-achieving and stressful, is that your daughter will always feel that she is working to her best, she will have access to extraordinary music and extra-curricular activities, and she will be in an entirely motivated environment.

As the previous poster said, your eleven year old's misgivings, are not based on any real knowledge of the world, just hearsay and nervousness.

However, it must be weighted a little bit by how good her current school is, and how happy she is there.
worriedParent
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 3:50 pm
Location: London

Post by worriedParent »

Her current school has great music and sports. One concern is that her self-esteem came partly from doing well at sports; her photograph was often posted in the school newsletter and she would shine at sports day. Our DD is slowly and reluctantly being persuaded, but will she keep the level of self-esteem? One final issue that I should have mentioned - she wants to stay at the same school partly because her older sister is there.
asha
Posts: 44
Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2007 6:24 pm

Post by asha »

Several kids leave Spgs every year as they do not like the over competitive atmosphere. I myself know a few who have joined other day schools after spending a year or more at spgs as they did not settle down. They are much happier in the less intense atmosphere of these other schools. Only you know your daughter, would she do well in a school like Spgs or is she better cut out for a school where there is not so much pressure to succeed?
PB Mum
Posts: 155
Joined: Sun Nov 16, 2008 10:37 am

Post by PB Mum »

It's probably worth pointing out that her own school is going to change too, as some of her classmates will leave, and there will be new girls arriving, so it will not be the 'same' as it is now. Our DD is making a change at 13 (having got a place at her and our preferred school, which she missed out on at 11), and is hesitant at leaving her friends, although she is only moving a mile across town, and will still see them. I guess she's that bit older and can recognise, and wants, this place as the options are greater, but I can sense the trepidation.
Milla
Posts: 2556
Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 2:25 pm

Post by Milla »

is staying where she is so very bad if she is thriving??
Sorry, you're getting loads of conflicting advice here. How long do you have to make a decision?
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worriedParent
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 3:50 pm
Location: London

Post by worriedParent »

She is certainly thriving but staying where she is not pushing outside her comfort zone at all. We need to accept her current school tomorrow so it will be all over soon.
Ellie
Posts: 103
Joined: Sat Feb 07, 2009 7:53 pm

Post by Ellie »

My reluctant DD says she does not want to go to SPGS because a lot of her friends tell her constantly about the pressure. My elder DD attends CLSG and while the girls are expected to work hard, she is thoroughly enjoying herself.

We have a fw more days to decide.
Amber
Posts: 8058
Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 11:59 am

Post by Amber »

She is certainly thriving but staying where she is not pushing outside her comfort zone at all
Sorry, but does that matter, and if so, why? She is only 11.
londonmum
Posts: 100
Joined: Sat Aug 15, 2009 9:07 am
Location: London

Post by londonmum »

SPGS is the right school for the right child, not every child.

I tend to agree with Asha. However the school itself is usually quite good at identifying who will thrive and who will not. But again we know more than one child who has left quite quickly finding the pressure too much.

It is worth looking at why you want your daughter to go there, and why your daughter does not want to go there. Is she someone who will really thrive in a competitive environment, or would she prefer something more mixed where you can rise to your own level. It is a huge achievement to be offered a place and she really must be very good all-rounder. However I can see that this in itself would be flattering and it would be difficult to turn down a place without trying it.

In context, my daughter was not offered a place, but in retrospect it would have been absolutely the wrong school for her. That said if she had been I am not sure we would have been brave enough to say no.

Academics are important at St Pauls, sports are not. Yes they have a beautiful pool, but it is shamefully underused. I am not sure that sporty girls get the qudos they might get elsewhere. There is also a certain confidence, even arrogance, that some children in the St Pauls system have, which can be quite off-putting. There again there are some lovely children.

Most schools in the area deliver good results. I suspect what it boils down to is whether your daughter will thrive in a high powered and competitive environment or whether she is likely to be better off at the top of a more mixed environment.
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