Am I shooting my foot by refusing to get a tutor for 7+?
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FirstTimeBuyer
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Interesting discussion. However insane it appears, having children compete at 7+ is, sadly, inevitable. A place at one of the top London schools is a relatively predictable Willy Wonka Golden Ticket.
The parents therefore do everything reasonable, and quite a lot more to secure a place. If a Prep, or even a Pre-Prep confers an advantage in the form of an inside track, then it is to be pursued with vigour. Unfortunately the supply is overwhelmed by demand.
From the perspective of these Preps and Pre-Preps you can have a lottery or you can have a competition. A competition, where you set your own rules confers power, and the higher standard of pupil that results confers prestige, and if every other similarly placed Prep does it and you don't, then you get left behind.
Result, a cohort of children who speak in tongues, riff on the clarinet, play Go instead of chess, and render a passable imitation of Branagh's Hamlet.
We were too scared to join that fight, so we are in the country.
The parents therefore do everything reasonable, and quite a lot more to secure a place. If a Prep, or even a Pre-Prep confers an advantage in the form of an inside track, then it is to be pursued with vigour. Unfortunately the supply is overwhelmed by demand.
From the perspective of these Preps and Pre-Preps you can have a lottery or you can have a competition. A competition, where you set your own rules confers power, and the higher standard of pupil that results confers prestige, and if every other similarly placed Prep does it and you don't, then you get left behind.
Result, a cohort of children who speak in tongues, riff on the clarinet, play Go instead of chess, and render a passable imitation of Branagh's Hamlet.
We were too scared to join that fight, so we are in the country.
Exams are formidable for the best prepared. The greatest fool may ask what the wisest man cannot answer.
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inspired2win
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Am l shooting my foot by refusing to tutor
Hi SraCastafiore
I am now of the opinion that tutoring is an absoulte waste of time and money. The reality of the fact is that it is the parents that do most of the work, tutor or no tutor. A tutor comes once a week for one hour, no DD or DS will pass any exam on a one hour a week lesson. The parents still have to follow up with homework, marking, going through mistakes.
If you have the time, l strongly recommend that you do it yourself and draft other family members in if you can. In addtion to that, some tutors cannot be bothered to invest money into good quality revision papers. Save your money and invest into good quality papers and so it yourself if you can.
We had a tutor for a short while but had to tell the tutor to go as it was a waste of time. DD did indie exam after this and passed.
Hope this helps.
I am now of the opinion that tutoring is an absoulte waste of time and money. The reality of the fact is that it is the parents that do most of the work, tutor or no tutor. A tutor comes once a week for one hour, no DD or DS will pass any exam on a one hour a week lesson. The parents still have to follow up with homework, marking, going through mistakes.
If you have the time, l strongly recommend that you do it yourself and draft other family members in if you can. In addtion to that, some tutors cannot be bothered to invest money into good quality revision papers. Save your money and invest into good quality papers and so it yourself if you can.
We had a tutor for a short while but had to tell the tutor to go as it was a waste of time. DD did indie exam after this and passed.
Hope this helps.
I live in neither city or country and think anyone who partakes in this competitive madness for their tiny tots in london is deranged. A tot may be able to riff on the clarinet or recite a few lines of hamlet but they won't understand it at all and you know why - hamlet was not written for 7 year-olds (despite Shakespeare for kids versions which are anyhow better received by 10-year-olds-plus) and picking up an instrument at 7 (not so unusual) implies nothing more than keen parenting, certainly not indicative of a genius or even 'cleverness'.
You reap what you sow - i for one would go for the rounded, naturally bright, happy to play (not organised by adults) child any time. Competition kicks in soon enough without the parents agonised help so let the tiny tots play for heavens sake! Just because other parents do it doesn't make it right
You reap what you sow - i for one would go for the rounded, naturally bright, happy to play (not organised by adults) child any time. Competition kicks in soon enough without the parents agonised help so let the tiny tots play for heavens sake! Just because other parents do it doesn't make it right
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T.i.p.s.y
I think it is unfair to blame the parents for opting to tutor. There are vey few schools in London that are not selective at 7+ and a large number that select even at 3! 
If your child doesn't get in then the options are often limited to inner city state schools where 80%+ do not speak English when they start. There are pockets where there are a few good state schools but if you don't live there then you are stuffed. The whole system is unfair and frankly it would be better if it was done on a first come first served basis though this too has problems. It is all very well for those who live outside of London to judge London parents as pushy and barking mad when they have never been through such a system and good state schools or independent school places have been handed to them on a plate then they really have no idea what they are talking about.
I agree with tutoring yourself though. My friend would get a tutor for guidance and then work her child to the bone
all week so she was effectively in the tutoring role.
If your child doesn't get in then the options are often limited to inner city state schools where 80%+ do not speak English when they start. There are pockets where there are a few good state schools but if you don't live there then you are stuffed. The whole system is unfair and frankly it would be better if it was done on a first come first served basis though this too has problems. It is all very well for those who live outside of London to judge London parents as pushy and barking mad when they have never been through such a system and good state schools or independent school places have been handed to them on a plate then they really have no idea what they are talking about.I agree with tutoring yourself though. My friend would get a tutor for guidance and then work her child to the bone
all week so she was effectively in the tutoring role.-
hermanmunster
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T.i.p.s.y
EXACTLY!Cats12 wrote:I live in neither city or country and think anyone who partakes in this competitive madness for their tiny tots in london is deranged. A tot may be able to riff on the clarinet or recite a few lines of hamlet but they won't understand it at all and you know why - hamlet was not written for 7 year-olds (despite Shakespeare for kids versions which are anyhow better received by 10-year-olds-plus) and picking up an instrument at 7 (not so unusual) implies nothing more than keen parenting, certainly not indicative of a genius or even 'cleverness'.
You reap what you sow - i for one would go for the rounded, naturally bright, happy to play (not organised by adults) child any time. Competition kicks in soon enough without the parents agonised help so let the tiny tots play for heavens sake! Just because other parents do it doesn't make it right
[img]http://sl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/47/47055t4vjrz296r.gif[/img]
There is tutoring and there is competitive madness. And what I've read on this thread sounds like the latter. Tipsy none of us is so removed as to not be a little informed - I have been up to the big smoke once or twice, I do know parents schooling in london and I do believe there are degrees of educating.
Each to their own always rings true, but this forum is invaluable for those parents unsure of their own actions and interested in a different view. I'm not blaming anyone, just saying parents do have choice - no one forces you to tutor at 3 or 7 - just saying out loud 'tutoring at 3 or 7' does sound like madness.
As for handing schools on a plate - erm if only getting a good school where I live was that easy...
Each to their own always rings true, but this forum is invaluable for those parents unsure of their own actions and interested in a different view. I'm not blaming anyone, just saying parents do have choice - no one forces you to tutor at 3 or 7 - just saying out loud 'tutoring at 3 or 7' does sound like madness.
As for handing schools on a plate - erm if only getting a good school where I live was that easy...
IMHO, it is a terribly sad indictment of the society we are creating for our children, and one of the (many) reasons why the UNICEF poll put the UK bottom of the list of places for children to grow up happily.I can say though that whilst the tutoring of very young children may seem, to some, absolute madness. I can certainly understand why some parents feel the need to do it.
