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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 1:24 pm 
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Me and Mrs Pushy Dad needs some advice from those parents who have kids at either school.

STAHS was originally intended to be Plan B, just in case we didn't get Stags - we are outside Stags proximity area so it was hit or miss with regards to whether we would win one of the lottery places.

We didn't fancy our chances but on Wednesday we found out that we had been allocated a place at Stags. I can tell you that we were a family of happy bunnies/stags that evening.

Things got complicated the next morning when we got a scholarship offer from STAHS. Plan B is now on the verge of becoming Plan A, what with the scholarship offer making a private education (slightly) more affordable.

Even with a scholarship we still need to finance 70% of the fees. Her brother is at Habs Boys so you can imagine what the state of our finances looks like :(

If your daughter is at STAGS and she had the opportunity to go to STAHS, would you want her to swap schools?

If your daughter is at STAHS, what do you feel that the school offer that STAGS doesn't?

GCSE results is not a factor since I am assuming that both schools have excellent teachers and that the difference in ranking is because one is 100% selective.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 2:11 pm 
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Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2010 3:56 pm
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Location: Herts
Hi Pushy Dad,

I have been reading your posts on other threads with interest.

Does this mean that the original Plan A for Twin'D' to join Twin'S' at Habs has changed ?

Also was Twin'S' offered STAGS as his state school allocation as well ?


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 2:36 pm 
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Location: Herts
STAGS stands for St Albans Girls School. It is a brilliant state school that most people in this area will crawl over hot coals for. I would go for STAGs myself but perhaps better move to a pm on this. DG


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 5:25 pm 
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Actually Plan A was to get the twins into a good state school and put the money towards University. Plan B was to go private if this didn't happen.

With my daughter being allocated STAGS it was kind of Mission Accomplished. However, my son didn't get the state school we wanted (Parmiters). It was therefore a no-brainer i.e. we went with Plan B and accepted the Habs Boys offer.

My daughter didn't get an offer from Habs Girls. From reading postings from past Habs girls we suspect that it was because she didn't fit in with what they thought a Habs girl should be. If the comments are to be believed then my daughter wouldn't have fitted in since she doesn't have the self confidence and self assurance that usually comes from having parents with money - please pardon the generalisation :)

Going by the open days, we got the impression that Habs Girls attitude was - what can you as a student do for Habs? Whereas High School was more of - what can we do to make you a better student/person?

It would have been nice to have got an offer from Habs but we feel that the High School will be a better fit for our daughter so we aren't disappointed about Habs.

Anyway, we'll be spending the weekend pondering the pros and cons of Plans A and B. At the moment the opinions of personal friends have been 50/50. Not surprisingly, parents are singing the praises of the school that they daughter is at.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 5:35 pm 
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Loads - I forgot to answer your question about my son's allocation. He got Verulum Boys. I was impressed by the open day. The kids and masters seemed very friendly and it had a nice, fun atmosphere. However, there have been too many negative things said about it for us to take the chance. According to the council's stats, total application more or less equalled places. What did other parents know that we didn't? :D

Anyway, we didn't want to take the chance that come Sept 2011 we would realise that the school gate gossip was true and that we had turned down a place, albeit an expensive one, at one of Herts leading schools for this. With High School/STAGS the choice is obviously not so clear cut.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 9:13 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2010 2:30 pm
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Location: Herts
Congratulations, you do, at least, have some very positive choices to make. I do rather wonder though, how twins would feel at being sent to 2 different schools, one of which is a state school (albeit a very good one) and the other independent. Whilst I see that the driver will be financial (indeed must be), I hope your daughter won't feel second best if you opt for the state route for her whilst her brother goes to HABS.

I'm afraid as a parent of 1 current & 1 former HABS girl, I must take issue with some of your comments. They do not merely seek out children who only have something to offer the school. The school gives more than plenty in return. They take a really wide cross section of children in both ability and background. My own 2 girls are like chalk and cheese and thrived there, both specialising in different aspects of the school and have reaped the benefits.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 10:16 pm 
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Hi Pushy Dad

I too would be worried about the impact on twin 2, but clearly you need to consider the financial implications and if it you can stretch and afford the fees at 70% , I would take that option.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 11:49 pm 
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Surely if she understands that the state school is a very good and highly desirable one which you feel will suit/support/develop her more, then she should hopefully understand the choice. I presume that she doesn't harbour a desperate need to go to the other school?

If she feels short changed financially then you could always treat her to a nice present like netbook with funky cover for example (dp buying this for dd passing exams to Latymer and St Michael's tomorrow) or some other item she craves, explaining that it is a treat as her school if funded in a different way. If you mention that holidays might be curtailed with them both at Indies it might swing things for you too, as what child willingly sacrifices great holidays :lol: They are heading towards an age where they are less likely to want them with parents in the way they once did so I'd make the most of it now if you can. I don't actually think that most children are aware of the schooling cost unless told, and it's made to be a big thing in front of them.......and it adds up to a LOT of money towards her University years :wink:


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 12:14 am 
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2ddsmum- I was partly basing my Habs observations on a thread in mumsnet where ex habs girls were asked whether they would recommend habs.

I mean this in the nicest possible way but is possible that you were quite a confident child yourself and that you bought up your girls in the same way?If that is the case then perhaps that is why you don't empathise with the negative comments made on mumsnet by the other ex habs girls.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 12:34 am 
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Mrs Pushy Dad and I sat up to midnight and we decided to go with High School. Our reasons are along the line of the comments made by posters here and by friends. Namely that her brother will be going off to some musical event in Berlin for example while she'll be performing in her school hall. Already she feels that she constantly lives in her brother's shadow. That feeling will only get worst if we don't fix it now. Keeping the same car for another few years and taking more modest family holidays is a small price to pay for her emotional well being.

Thanks for your comments.


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