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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 9:47 pm 
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For all those parents considering making the huge switch from state to independent, a word of warning. I decided that my high achieving, well rounded, happy,very mature " model pupil " child would benefit from all the " advantages " an independent school could offer. DC sat scholarship exams for very good school, impressed the examiners and was given a scholarship of 50% ( even though the scholarship on offer was for 25% ). Fantastic. Paid the fees, bought the uniform ( shocking prices!!). DC spent the summer looking forward to all the school promised. Term started and life went rapidly downhill. DC changed into sad shadow of former self. Where was my happy ray of sunshine? I made another huge decision and left that school. Now in a state school and thriving. My dc had to leave home at 7.30 am and didn't return until 6.30pm, 2 hrs of prep on school nights leaving barely enough time to eat, shower etc before falling tearfully into bed exhausted. Vast amounts of prep at weekends left no time at all to just be a child. A bright child will do well at any school if they are happy, be it state or other. The grass really isn't greener on the other side.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 10:18 pm 
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Mmmmm, a bright child will not necessarily do well anywhere if they are happy. You chose the wrong school for your child as she could not cope in that environment, it has nothing to do with whether it was state or an independent school or if the school wasn't good.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 10:28 pm 
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justj, well done on making the decision!-
it is so very difficult to see ones child upset and unhappy, I think the easy option is often to assume things will get better - but they don't always. Fortunately you had another option!!! Not everyone has a choice of schools ...

The school was obviously very keen to have your DC, did you manage to have a chat with them about the problems and why you were making the move? Did they try and help?


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 10:31 pm 
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Sorry to say but I agree with Godot on this one. It seems that this was not a suitable choice of indie for your child. I have some friends who are not very happy with their choice of grammar school but no one we know has a problem with their indie. I must admit - this is why we didn't get our DS tutored - he's in a state school so I got him some VR books for him - but that was it - because we wanted him to be able to keep up once he got to the selective school of choice (and not be stressed). Glad it all turned out well for you though.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 10:34 pm 
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Herm is right, not everyone has a choice and it would be a shame to cause any unnecessary worry on those seeking the independent route, and financially struggling to make ends meet because they either cannot get a place at their local school or they have grave concerns about sending their DC there.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 10:36 pm 
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the OP hasn't suggested that her DC was heavily coached - obviously DC impressed the school to get a rather more decent than usual scholarship.

Maybe the school wasn't the right place but most people actually don't have a choice.... for example round here there are 2 GSs - one for boys and once for girls , (so no real option) and a non selective school - inevitably a few don't get on at one of the schools and some people move them to indies - equally there is a significant movement in the other direction.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 10:43 pm 
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just j

My kids spent the summer term doing about 3 hours a day being home tutored. On top of this was the daily music practice. When they returned to school the exam prepping dropped to 2 hours a day with 4 hours at weekends.

They rose to the challenge and didn't feel particularly stressed so come September I think that they will make the transition from laid back state primary to private without any problems . You don't mention it but I am assuming that your son is one of those naturally bright kids that sat the entrance exams with no serious prepping. If that is the case then of course the new school regimen will have come as a culture shock.

Your kid sounds like one of those that will come out the other end with A* regardless of which route they took so congrats on saving all that money to put into his university fund :D


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 11:18 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2009 3:38 pm
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Location: Maidstone
This thread sounds very much like the one where the OP was damaged by 11+ :roll:

Whats the point of registering just to start this thread???

Just another pointless thread in my opinion...sorry but this deserves to be in rehab.

_________________
Impossible is Nothing.


Last edited by sherry_d on Sat Mar 19, 2011 11:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 11:20 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2011 11:13 pm
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I feel mean about saying this .. a bit ..but I think it's 'all that glisters is not gold' not glistens.
I have three children at the same school and all of them have different views of it. It's hard to make the right choice with all the best research in the world and some times we get it it wrong. I am glad it has been put right in this case but I would agree that it is luck if you have an alternative if your child is not in the ideal place and you need to move them.Not everyone does have that option.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2011 7:35 am 
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Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 7:58 pm
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Pushy Dad wrote:
just j

My kids spent the summer term doing about 3 hours a day being home tutored. On top of this was the daily music practice. When they returned to school the exam prepping dropped to 2 hours a day with 4 hours at weekends.

They rose to the challenge and didn't feel particularly stressed so come September I think that they will make the transition from laid back state primary to private without any problems . You don't mention it but I am assuming that your son is one of those naturally bright kids that sat the entrance exams with no serious prepping. If that is the case then of course the new school regimen will have come as a culture shock.

Your kid sounds like one of those that will come out the other end with A* regardless of which route they took so congrats on saving all that money to put into his university fund :D

Thank you Pushy Dad for not attacking me. My child, like most farmers children, works everyday after school, also has daily music practice, band practice 3 times a week and orchestra once a week. He did not need any prepping for the exams. We are not in a GS area so didnt have that option. My post was aimed at the many,many parents whose children are destined for local high schools and believe that by paying they would be getting a better education.What is the point in almost breaking yourself to pay fees and making your child thoroughly miserable in the process? I hope that come September everything works out brilliantly for your family,( I wish it had for mine). :)


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