Why is one school "less academic" than another?

[lara228]

And I had the misfortune on Sunday to be at a Jazz concert, sitting in the same row as a supervised group of boys from a school that many on this forum are anxiously awaiting good news from - not one boy said 'excuse me' as they passed by to get to their seat - I doubt many had been to any theatre/concert before as they had no idea how to behave. But it IS considered an academic school with good pastoral care!

[tiffinboys]

And I had the misfortune on Sunday to be at a Jazz concert.................
they had no idea how to behave.

May be they learnt such behavior elsewhere.

[menagerie]

A hint, Lara? An initial? I have no intention of paying a small fortune to a school that doesn't supervise good manners on school outings.

If it's Hampton or RGS please PM me!

[tiffinboys]

Could be some super selective grammar as well.

[ClappedOutMum]

Thanks all - it can be offputting though when people always seem to think you would only pick a particular school because your DC wouldn't get into any other

Yes - that grates with me too. The assumption because we (DS and I) don't like Westminster or St Paul's (or whatever) that he is not bright enough to get in there ..... <grrrr>

[Not saying he is of course, will never know as we won't try!]

[menagerie]

Clappedout, Amber, 2outof3, I think you're all onto something.

Walking around our three chosen indies, there's one I love because I want to go there, one I love because there is no doubt in my mind that DS would flourish there and grow confident and happy, and one that on paper is the best of all yet I feel a little cold towards it and have done every time I've visited it.

The less academic one is the kinder, gentler one with the ace pastoral track record. I am beginning to think that nothing is more important than that. If they feel safe and liked and respected around fellow pupils and teachers, they will thrive. I don't want them to think they are measured solely on exam results. So long as they're in an atmosphere where hard work and achievement is lauded, and classrooms are for learning not for mucking around in, then I don't care if a school isn't top of the academic leagues.

[twelveminus]

I think there is a problem if your chosen school has children for whom 'learning is not easy', and your child finds it easy. That said, there's no point at all if your child is nothing special, academically, in struggling to get him into a 'top' private school. For state schools, yes, but for private schools the less academic schools are going to be better if your child is not gifted and talented in his work.

If your child is somewhere in between, perhaps gifted in some areas and average in others, this is where the conundrum comes in, and assuming you don't get in to a 'top school', you need to examine the 'lesser' schools very carefully to see if they will support him in his areas of excellence.

[lara228]

Going back to topic....my DS is in year 7 of a great independent school and doing pretty well. He's one of a handful of boys who came from state primaries and he has had a culture-shock being in a year with probably 90-95% of prep-school boys. He has told me of one or two boys who are struggling across the board and my assumption is that they were tutored mercilessly to pass the entrance exams but are not really up to the expected academic standard of the school - the boys are really unhappy. I think parents need to be honest with themselves and ask if they really want to put their DCs through years of struggle and unhappiness when they may shine at a really good local school which will give them the support they need. Many of my DSs friends have gone to Academies/Voluntary Aided schools that stream for all subjects - the children in the top streams do really well.

And going back to the Jazz concert - these were not year 7 boys, but older, probably years 8-10 and I would have expected them to have the simple manners of saying 'excuse me' when they need to pass in front of anyone, anywhere - at a concert or on a bus! Their parents to paying out vast sums in education and I would have hoped that the parents would have instilled these basic manners.

[menagerie]

Lara, what sort of culture shock? Do you mean the work ethic is so much stronger? Or that the prep school boys are more overtly competitive?

I'm intrigued. I think we have the problem twelveminus has raised. DS excels in certain areas but is bright but not exceptional in others. (E.g. top table maths but doesn't instantly 'get' maths as the real maths whizzes do. His brain isn't wired to numbers, it's wired to words.) Do we go for the highly academic school? Or the gentle school in which he'd shine. he's not overly self-confident, and would get a lot from being the brightest boy in his class at a less academic school, but he's also naturally quite lazy and won't stretch himself. A school that stretches him might give him a wake up call and help him raise his game. When I do cajole him into making an effort he is always so proud of what he;s achieved, that I wish it weren't a battle.

His brother on the other hand is little Mr Type A. His brain is set to Personal Best and he competes against his own best at all times. He'd get bored senseless in a less academic school and has said he'd rather be at the bottom of a class of geniuses than top of the next set down.

The right school for the child is so important but knowing which set up will spark them before they get there... that's so tricky.

[tiffinboys]

Getting a bit more confused. DC is bright, may be called very bright, but not genius. Diciplined and has good work ethos, but would never over work. Not very competitive in sports, but enjoys whatever games he plays. Taken tests for 2 indies only - I am wondering if grammar or very academic school would be suitable for my DC - bright, may be very bright in some areas; not an exceptional child academically (currently) or in sports or arts or music. Just an intelligent, inquisitive, well behaving, diciplined child.

We thought Tiffin would be very suitable. St. Paul's or King's types perhaps not. We didn't take these tests so we shall not know.