How do you manage to keep state primary friendships in teens
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Kingfisher
- Posts: 416
- Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2012 7:08 pm
Re: How do you manage to keep state primary friendships in t
My DD went to an indie without anyone from her old school. She has found Skype the best way of staying in touch.
Re: How do you manage to keep state primary friendships in t
I had two go from state primary to grammar (both as only child from their year).We found that local activities have been the best way to maintain contact - church youth club, guides / scouts etc.
Re: How do you manage to keep state primary friendships in t
I was going to say skype too.
But also, I've been very surprised to see that strong friendships made in primary just won't die. My sister and brothers' families both moved away form London when their children were mid-primaryu. Both sets of kids, now in their late teens still visit their London primary school friends and have loads in common.
DS1's best friend went to live in America at the end of yr 3. They don't skype, but when he comes over to UK for visits, even though they haven't spoken in 3 years, they are engrossed in conversation and jokes. It's as though they were still in the same class.
Similarly DS2's best friend moved schools, also in Yr 3. We bumped into him recently as he's moved nearby. They couldn't be more different now. My son is geeky academic, this boy is a county athlete, yet they hooked up and love each other's company again, are in and out of each other's houses. It's lovely to see.
But also, I've been very surprised to see that strong friendships made in primary just won't die. My sister and brothers' families both moved away form London when their children were mid-primaryu. Both sets of kids, now in their late teens still visit their London primary school friends and have loads in common.
DS1's best friend went to live in America at the end of yr 3. They don't skype, but when he comes over to UK for visits, even though they haven't spoken in 3 years, they are engrossed in conversation and jokes. It's as though they were still in the same class.
Similarly DS2's best friend moved schools, also in Yr 3. We bumped into him recently as he's moved nearby. They couldn't be more different now. My son is geeky academic, this boy is a county athlete, yet they hooked up and love each other's company again, are in and out of each other's houses. It's lovely to see.
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Middlesexmum
- Posts: 1008
- Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:54 am
Re: How do you manage to keep state primary friendships in t
Would like to add that, whatever you do, there's only a degree to which you can control friendships. Local friends are great and it's lovely to maintain friendships that go back many years, but children change a huge amount going to secondary school and friendships change likewise. And often, our ideas about who makes good friends for our dcs doesn't always fit in with their ideas!
Of course we can encourage/remind them to keep in touch with primary friends but as they get older, it's ultimately THEIR responsibility and decision about who to socialise with.
Of course we can encourage/remind them to keep in touch with primary friends but as they get older, it's ultimately THEIR responsibility and decision about who to socialise with.
Re: How do you manage to keep state primary friendships in t
This is probably an even worse suggestion than Facebook, but my lucky dd has an iPod and messages her friends quite a lot, or uses Facetime. She changes school this year, none of her close friends will be with her. However, they all live within a mile so to start with I will try to arrange for them to come round for an hour or so. I might take them swimming and leave them in the cafe for a chat.
I worry her friends, at the same school, will talk about their school, and dd won't be able to join in. I really don't want her to lose these friends but ultimately, it's up to her.
I worry her friends, at the same school, will talk about their school, and dd won't be able to join in. I really don't want her to lose these friends but ultimately, it's up to her.
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loveyouradvice
- Posts: 160
- Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2011 1:24 pm
Re: How do you manage to keep state primary friendships in t
It IS up to them - but there's lots we can do to help them on the way....
And I so agree with the post about being surprised that shared time at that age created real potential longterm friendships - there's an ease between them if they spend a few years together and knew each other inside out then.... Love the idea that she's likely to keep a handful of them
And I so agree with the post about being surprised that shared time at that age created real potential longterm friendships - there's an ease between them if they spend a few years together and knew each other inside out then.... Love the idea that she's likely to keep a handful of them
