Failed!

[tigger2]

Hi Greendragon...

I don't have lots of experience with regards Caterham but hope that my ds's experience last year will be of help.

Ds sat the Caterham entrance exam at a time when our family were under great stress. Unfortunately he did not get an offer. The school was not our first choice but I was disappointed for him because he would have been very happy to have gone there.We emailed the head of admissions and said that we would be grateful if they would re-consider or at least discuss his results with us and they replied to say that they could not re-consider until the deadline had passed for acceptance of offers but we did find out that he only missed it by the narrowest of margins. We sent a further email to thank them for their time and continued to express an interest and expected to hear no more but out of the blue we received an offer only a few weeks later. He was not on a waiting list. I also know of a boy who was unexpectedly offered a place in 2011 three months after receiving a 'no' so it does happen from time to time. Wishing you the best of luck x

[Greendragon]

Hi Greendragon...

I don't have lots of experience with regards Caterham but hope that my ds's experience last year will be of help.

Ds sat the Caterham entrance exam at a time when our family were under great stress. Unfortunately he did not get an offer. The school was not our first choice but I was disappointed for him because he would have been very happy to have gone there.We emailed the head of admissions and said that we would be grateful if they would re-consider or at least discuss his results with us and they replied to say that they could not re-consider until the deadline had passed for acceptance of offers but we did find out that he only missed it by the narrowest of margins. We sent a further email to thank them for their time and continued to express an interest and expected to hear no more but out of the blue we received an offer only a few weeks later. He was not on a waiting list. I also know of a boy who was unexpectedly offered a place in 2011 three months after receiving a 'no' so it does happen from time to time. Wishing you the best of luck x

Hi, thank you for that, of course I really want to know by how much he failed,as its something to go by. Yes we will be asking the school to reconsider and also we will be thinking of other options.
In the mean time....as time right now seems to be going by slowly with this uncertainty, I need to start thinking of what we will do next...Caterham is out number one and always will be. My thoughts are for DS to repeat yr 6 as he's an August child and it will only stand him in good stead to consolidate everything and be really ready to start Year 7 next year. You never know what Caterham might do but this time I'm not going to put all my eggs in one basket! Thank you again for telling me your story.

[SleepyHead]

My thoughts are for DS to repeat yr 6 as he's an August child and it will only stand him in good stead to consolidate everything and be really ready to start Year 7 next year.

Dear Greendragon - I couldn't read this and not reply!

In my opinion, repeating a year will only consolidate a sense of 'failure' for your son and yourself. If I'm being totally honest and please forgive me for saying - I can't imagine anything more demoralizing.

Aren't there other options to consider - I can't remember if you're in a prep school? If so perhaps staying on till 13+ is an option, otherwise going to a local school and then applying for an occasional place in year 7 might be a possibility.

Being at your second choice school doesn't mean your DS won't go on to achieve A* and As at GCSEs and great grades at 'A' level and even go onto Oxbridge (if you are so inclined).

I completely understand that not getting your first choice school is heartbreaking, and upsetting - but we all come across these situations in life - be it at 11+ or later on, and I really honestly believe how we handle it, and how we teach our DC to react (after a perceived 'failure') is equally important.

I really hope your appeal works, and all my best to you and your DS
Sleepyhead

[tigger2]

Hi again
For what its worth dd has a friend repeating year 6 after not getting her first choice and it has had the opposite effect to the one her parents hoped for. Her friend is with all the children she rightly perceived as the younger ones and she is genuinely low and fed up with being seen by her former classmates as the failure...probably doesn't help that they have siblings in her current class. I would urge you not to go down this route if at all possible. Its only a thought but what is Caterhams policy with the age band for year 7? Some schools are happy to consider 'deferred' applications if your dc is a late Summer baby. Or as has already been suggested try for year 9 instead. I think Caterham will be honest if they feel that the school is not right for him at the moment but if that was their opnion now it might not be the case for year 9 entry. Good luck x

[lefol]

Hi

Thought I have to respond to this as well . Sorry to hear your DS missed out on Caterham , but from what you describe , I am confident he will do well anywhere he goes . You may feel disappointed that he has not made your first choice school, however I think getting him to repeat year 6 might be a bit drastic given he may only have missed the exam by a few points and even if he missed it by a mile , a singly exam
is not always reflective of an 11 year olds ability as he may have just had a bad day, pressure from home , school, nerves etc .

I would suggest you look around local schools as you may find one to suit his abilities . In short , Caterham is not the end of the world . It will knock his confidence if he is seen as a failure and made to repeat the year again just because he missed out on one exam . That's the sort of thing you do at A'levels or university not an 11+ exam
. Wish you best of luck and I am sure your DS will be offered a school
of his choice when the allocation chaos is all over after the first week of March .

[doodles]

Please be careful Greendragon, you are putting a huge amount of stress on yourself and your ds.

If you decide to go for yr9 entry please consider that you aren't guaranteed a place then either. There will be dc's who've tried for a school (not necessarily Caterham) for both yr7 and yr9 entry and not been successful on either attempt, they will then have flourished at other schools. Sometimes it's just not meant to be - be kind to yourself and your ds.

Goodluck

[Greendragon]

My thoughts are for DS to repeat yr 6 as he's an August child and it will only stand him in good stead to consolidate everything and be really ready to start Year 7 next year.

Dear Greendragon - I couldn't read this and not reply!

In my opinion, repeating a year will only consolidate a sense of 'failure' for your son and yourself. If I'm being totally honest and please forgive me for saying - I can't imagine anything more demoralizing.

Aren't there other options to consider - I can't remember if you're in a prep school? If so perhaps staying on till 13+ is an option, otherwise going to a local school and then applying for an occasional place in year 7 might be a possibility.

Being at your second choice school doesn't mean your DS won't go on to achieve A* and As at GCSEs and great grades at 'A' level and even go onto Oxbridge (if you are so inclined).

I completely understand that not getting your first choice school is heartbreaking, and upsetting - but we all come across these situations in life - be it at 11+ or later on, and I really honestly believe how we handle it, and how we teach our DC to react (after a perceived 'failure') is equally important.

I really hope your appeal works, and all my best to you and your DS
Sleepyhead

Yes we are in a prep school which finishes the end of year 6.
Our problem is, that DS doesn't want to go to his second choice as had bad experience on their taster day. All along he's wanted to go to the school his brother is at.

Repeating a year is not all bad, when choices run dry you have to opt for what is best for your child.
DS would not repeat in school he's in now, he would move to a different school that goes to 13+ but re do year 6.

DS has always been in a very academic enviroment and being a late August child has always been bottom in everything, it's been heart breaking to watch. He shut down a long time a go and just didnt learn anything until I took things into my own hands and pretty much home tutored him. The one to one brought his standard right up to where he is now. I was told a year a go he wouldn't be ready for exams but I managed to turn it around and he passed his 2nd choice, which is brilliant.

I know a few children that are repeating years and in the long term is hugely beneficial. That extra year of growing up, consolidating can really give them an edge to when they start year7. The confidence boost of higher marks and really understanding subjects giving him the edge can't be that bad.

The school i went too wanted me to repeat a year when I was 12, my parents took me out that school and sent me to a state school where I had the most hideous time of my life, I went into bottom sets of everything and I was bullied. Looking back I would have much rather have gone through the embarrassment of re doing a year.
I wouldn't dream of making DS repeat in same school....I'm not callus.
DS is super sensitive and I wouldn't ever do anything that would upset him or stress him.
He's my youngest and I want to give him every chance of happiness.

At the moment I'm running through options, I've even thought of home tutoring him for a year!!

[doodles]

I wish you luck with your plan Greendragon and hope it works out for your DS but please remember that Caterham is very popular and places are sought after so a back up you really like wouldn't do any harm (just in case).

[Ladymuck]

Deleted by user.

[Greendragon]

Firstly, sorry to hear this news.

Caterham give 40 places to the prep school, and 45-50 external ones. There were at least 16 siblings not at the prep school this year, not all of whom got in.

As an existing parent I would ask to see the Head. I certainly wouldn't plea by email given the registrar is new.

In terms of your older son I guess the difficulty might be that his grades were lower than an external 16+ candidate would be allowed. Had he been at Whitgift or Trinity then he wouldn't have been allowed to return to 6th form.- Caterham's policy is more generous.

We had looked at Hazelwood for our summer born boy as a back up to reapply at 13.


There will be plenty of movement on the list especially once grammar school results come out. I would definitely talk to the head before 3 March if you can. That said I do get the impression that the school is getting a brighter intake, and you need to consider whether the school is a good fit for your son. Good luck.

Thank you Ladymuck,
We've been told that until the Head receives all plees by letter or email (registrar said better by email) that he will not be making any decisions. Once letters are in then he will keep the answer as a no or ask to come in.
I know a less performing child who took exam at same time has got a place so therefore it's been a close shave.

As for my elder son, no, he didnt get the required 6 A 's required for an external student but he did get 2 A* and 2 A's followed by B's . He however did get enough grades had he been at Whitgiftschool or Trinity to return into 6th Form.

Right now I have to have a back up plan and that seems the biggest problem as there are choices and no choice seems to be the right one.
The fact that DS was born 3 weeks early so instead of being in the year below as he should have been, he was born late August and went to school a year before he should have.
So should I allow him to be in his correct year now, give him an opportunity to have a year just to go over year 6. If he goes into Yr 7 will he continue to be bottom of pile?

Greendragon