Eton v's Winchester

[T.i.p.s.y]

Thanks for the input Melinda.

Solimum - is he the first Oxbridger (if thats a word! ) in the family? My son just needs to stick at a degree for more than I year to be more successful than his ma and pa!

[solimum]

Hi T.i.p.s.y. - my OH and I are both graduates of the windy city in the Fens, so although Oxford itself is new to us the Oxbridge experience itself is not. Of course we both went in the old and glorious days of full student grants, so what we've saved in school fees will come in useful for uni costs, as Oxford students are discouraged from term-time working ( and would have a far less valuable experience if they had to fill every spare hour with paid employment to make ends meet...)

[Peace]

I am for boarding now as there are no homework fights, and my sons have to fight their own battles (not that they have many) without mum getting involved - ignorance can be bliss.

I jus don't know the long-term effects. Are your children close with you now post boarding Peace?

Oh yes, very close, we cherish our time together, talk, email and text all the time, no resentment and very little teenage grumpiness. My daughters board too, works for us, although I do miss them dreadfully.

[T.i.p.s.y]

[/quote]
Oh yes, very close, we cherish our time together, talk, email and text all the time, no resentment and very little teenage grumpiness. My daughters board too, works for us, although I do miss them dreadfully.[/quote]

Glad to see your relationships have either not been afected or enhanced by boarding. My eldest is so sweet since he started boarding, but the youngest is a nightmare. If I turn up at his school unexpected he says "What are you doing here?" in a grumpy voice, where the other would run up and cuddle me!

Anyway, one last question (I hope!). I was speaking to a mother the other day who has been to public school and her boys are at prep school and will go on to a top poublic school, but not E or W. She would never dream of sending her sons to Eton because of the types of parents there - I hear this all the time! I said that I wanted my son to go because I felt he would develop better social skills and make friends with boys from different classes and cultures as Eton is quite varied compared to a lot of public schools. She said that my son would never be friends with a boy who was from either a well-known family or of "good" lineage because he was not. To be honest, this does not bother me one jot, but is this true? I thought people really didn't care anymore, however I have been living in Norfolk for one year and the class divide is still 100 years behind. When I arrived I was constantly asked my maiden name by mothers at my son's prep school to see if I was from good stock, but alas we are seen as the Nouveau Riche and don't fit in anywhere! So, if it's alive and well in Norfolk, could that be the same at Eton. I also don't know why people always say "they are not your sort of parents" because when your childs at boarding school, you never really get many opportunities to meet the other parents or strike up a rapport with them, so would it really affect me?

[Flamenco]

Hi!

I'm new here and just saw this thread whilst browsing through the other eleven plus forums.

T.i.p.s.y : I've read all your postings and I think I understand your concerns. Don't know much about Winchester myself but my personal experience is that you won't regret in opting for Eton.

[quote]
She would never dream of sending her sons to Eton because of the types of parents there - I hear this all the time!

I can only assume this person had never met an Eton parent before. On the contrary, I can say I've met far worse parents in a STATE school!

[quote]
She said that my son would never be friends with a boy who was from either a well-known family or of "good" lineage because he was not.

That is not my son's experience. He gets invited by his peers to visit their homes (even overseas) and other social functions. We as parents are often invited too.

Lastly, I'd say you'll get just as many opportunities to meet other parents of boarders as in state or grammar schools and to strike up a rapport with them.

Go for it!

[Peace]

Anyway, one last question (I hope!). I was speaking to a mother the other day who has been to public school and her boys are at prep school and will go on to a top poublic school, but not E or W. She would never dream of sending her sons to Eton because of the types of parents there - I hear this all the time! I said that I wanted my son to go because I felt he would develop better social skills and make friends with boys from different classes and cultures as Eton is quite varied compared to a lot of public schools. She said that my son would never be friends with a boy who was from either a well-known family or of "good" lineage because he was not. To be honest, this does not bother me one jot, but is this true? I thought people really didn't care anymore, however I have been living in Norfolk for one year and the class divide is still 100 years behind. When I arrived I was constantly asked my maiden name by mothers at my son's prep school to see if I was from good stock, but alas we are seen as the Nouveau Riche and don't fit in anywhere!:roll: So, if it's alive and well in Norfolk, could that be the same at Eton. I also don't know why people always say "they are not your sort of parents" because when your childs at boarding school, you never really get many opportunities to meet the other parents or strike up a rapport with them, so would it really affect me?

Re types of parents:
Well, there are all sorts of people everywhere, I just take most people I encounter at face value unless there are cogent reasons to do otherwise, and anyway where it comes to other parents, I allow my childrens friendships to guide me.....

Re "lineage" rolling eyes lol: Not at all true, boys have other common denominators like shared interests, favourite subjects, sports etc etc. Parents may unwisely attempt in any situation to impose "filters", but boys as a rule do not from my experience. There will always be a few socially inept individuals, who attempt to hide behind a fragile veneer of supposed superiority but these are to be pitied not feared.

Re nouveau: Many an Eton family may be les anciens/bcbg, but relatively speaking are not "riches" at all..,or at least certainly not in disposable wealth LOL! The balance of old and new is just fine although most won't deal with it as directly as this... Who was it that said "better nouveaux than not riches at all".. very un pc I know but hey...

Re rapport: The parents on the whole are fine, we could find silly mummies and churlish fathers in any school. So long as the boys are friends, many parents would welcome the opportunity to widen their social circle (at school events) ; it can get a little embarassing though to have another parent making excessively friendly overtures outside of school related events if the boys barely know one another. Boarding school is not the centre of most parents lives in the way a day school can become if you know what I mean.. Your boys will be fine, meet lots of boys, have a lot of fun, they'll love it.

Just make sure you AND your boys feel comfortable with your House Master... makes for a far happier time, he really will be your main point of contact and communication during your boys entire time there, and I think that this is true for practically every single boys public school in the country. You really have to be sure that you are happy to hand your boys over to the man, to be guided, mentored and moulded for 5 or so years.

One funny thing is to make sure your boys know that almost all the other boys they meet there will just as clever as they are or even cleverer; it can come as a bit of a shock to them because most boys going to Eton etc are the cleverest in their prep schools and are stunned to discover it's no big deal... !

[T.i.p.s.y]

Thanks Peace for taking the time to answer so many of my questions. We have a lot to think about and a year before deposits (eek). Although we are keeping many options open, including sitting grammar school tests, we are becoming more positive about sending our sons to Hilton College in South Africa, and then sending them to Eton for the sixth form. This all depends on the political climate over there at the time though. I know Hilton and Eton have exchanges with one another every year. Has your son mentioned it to you, or has he come across any Hilton boys at Eton?

[Peace]

Thanks Peace for taking the time to answer so many of my questions. We have a lot to think about and a year before deposits (eek). Although we are keeping many options open, including sitting grammar school tests, we are becoming more positive about sending our sons to Hilton College in South Africa, and then sending them to Eton for the sixth form. This all depends on the political climate over there at the time though. I know Hilton and Eton have exchanges with one another every year. Has your son mentioned it to you, or has he come across any Hilton boys at Eton?

Of course I've heard of Hilton! My boy hasn't mentioned any at school but there must be one or two, maybe not in his year since it's an exam year.

One of the best colleges in Africa if not THE best, half the price too of Eton unless the SA exchange rate has suddenly strengthened. Arguably a better choice if you are looking at Oxbridge entry later, what a wise track to have available... Just thinking about it, if I was looking at Hilton till 16, then I might not look at Eton for 16-18 but would take a really good look at Atlantic College which I think is in Wales, one of the United World Colleges, really mind opening if the boys are robust enough to handle it, also easier to get in from Africa to Atlantic than from a school in the UK. The universities (both global and uk) beg to offer places to Atlantic kids....jobs waiting for them..they'll be employing the old etonians by the time they're grown!!!!

[T.i.p.s.y]

Oh dear, what have you done Peace - I'm off to google it now! There is also a college in Canada called Pearsons which offers every 16-18 year old a full scholarship regardless of income and I think it may well be similar to Atlantic.

Including flights, we have worked out that Hilton is currently a third of the price of Eton and I admit it was one of the attractions initially. Now that we have been there, we do feel that the boys could have an enriching and unique education, and I've falLen for the place. Anyway we went to see Bishops, Cape Town which I loved and is arguably more academic, but if you picked it up and placed it in England you wouldn't be able to tell it was South African (which may be a positive). If we are going to make such an extreme decision then I at least want them to get something "different" out of an education in SA, and with all that land and game reserve, Hilton ticks these boxes!

[T.i.p.s.y]

Peace - can you fill me in on Atlantic College? I have looked at the website and it is quite vague, so it is difficult for me to work out why it is so special and what is different about it. You can pm me if you wish or just put it on this thread.

Thanks for all of your help!