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PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 8:50 am 
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I had originally planned to send both DDs to Cheltenham Ladies college, and (very) fortunately, the fees are not a problem.

DD1 has upset the apple cart by gaining a place at Pates, a top grammar in Gloucestershire. As she has achieved this herself, I feel that she should take advantage of her place ("hard work = reward" lesson), but also do not want to disadvantage her in any way. DD2 will definitely go to an independent secondary school as she is dyslexic and needs additional support.(not CLC, they prob. won't have her).

So a possible resolution is this: send DD1 to the grammar for 2 years and then transfer her to CLC with the 13+ entrants. This would be the same year that DD2 moves to her new school.

I'm sure there are umpteen reasons why this isn't a good idea - but I can't think of them yet. Can anyone help?

Thanks


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 10:12 am 
Hi Silverflora,

Well done on your daughter passing although you shouldn't be surprised if she is intending to pass CLC. My first suggestion would be to speak to CLC about DD2's learning needs and see what they say, and also to get as certain as you can feedback from her current prep school about whether there is a chance she can get into CLC. If it becomes apparent that she has no chance getting into CLC then I would consider Pates for DD1 but only as a long-term option and not as an interim solution.

If you send her to Pates she will have no preparation for Common Entrance, and she will not progress in her latin and french (if she's been in a prep school) as most children will be starting these subjects at beginners level at Pates. This is not a problem if she wants to remain there but a huge problem if she wants to transfer to CLC. Remaining at a prep school until 13 will give her leadership opportunities which will stand her in good stead when moving onto a larger environment.

So if there is a chance that both daughters can go to CLC then I would continue aiming for that as you may, like me, wonder "What if she had gone there". If you send DD1 to Cheltenham I think its important that you send DD2 to a school of equal status (not academic status) as long as her needs are met and you like the school. Sending DD1 to a GS will mean that it won't matter what independent DD2 goes.

Finally, your daughter has worked hard, but is it a reward sending her to Pates? My DS is sitting for various schools and if he passes I won't automatically send him. I'll praise him, but let him know that I think there is a school that would be more suited to him. In four years time will she think that the reward would have been sending her to CLC but she is now at GS.

I have no opinion on this as all these schools are excellent and its very much down to personal opinion, but just thought I'd stick in these thoughts as something to consider.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 11:27 am 
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Hi

only thing that comes to mind is that all the kids going to GS on the whole think that they will be there for the whole 7 years (unless parents planning to change jobs / move etc) and will make new friends etc.
You may find you inhibit DD1;s settling in to the grammar school and making new friends if she knows that she will be going in 2years, may turn into a self fulfilling prophecy that you wish you had sent her to CLC in the first place.

funy thought - my aunt wanted me to go there... forgotten that!


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 11:28 am 
Dear Silverflora

I would say don't send her to Pates unless you are prepared for her to stay there for the rest of her school career, or at least to GCSE. Friends are very very important to girls and you may knock her off course completely if she has settled well at Pates and you then move her when all her friends are staying on. It would also be unfair to take up a place for two years which could have gone to a girl who really wanted to stay the whole course. Let her know how brilliantly she has done to get a place, it is a huge achievement, but I assume she is at a prep school at the moment where she can stay until 13+, and as money is not an issue for you I would leave her there if you still want to send her to CLC. I don't think you need to worry about academic issues at all with such a clever girl, so the emotional ones are really the ones you should be considering.

If you would be happy for her to stay at Pates in the long term (I think you said in an earlier post that she would be a day girl at CLC anyway) then let her go there if she wants to take up her place. There will be lots of girls there from similar schools to hers.

By the way, I don't know a lot about CLC but I would be surprised if they would discriminate against a girl with dyslexia provided she was of the appropriate ability. Apart from anything else they would be breaking the law. If you feel DD2 would be suitable for CLC otherwise why not ask them what support they have in place? I know that KES, which is a highly selective school, has many boys with dyslexia and other learning disabilities.

Hope this helps.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 12:57 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 7:10 pm
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Location: Buckinghamshire
A very quick post as I am so busy on Appeals, so please don't think me rude.

My first thought Silverflora is that you should not think of the two girls as a "job lot" on which you have to make inter-dependent decisions - unless there are major logistical issues involved, such as transport.

Secondly, decide which school is going to meet each girl's needs best.

All easier said than done, but it breaks the decision down into smaller, more manageable chunks.

I agree with the other posters that for DD1 it should be a final decision at 11. My son moved schools at 12 (11+ miss, 12+ pass) and he spent Year 7 in "limbo" and hasn't found it easy settling in socially after the move in year 8. I would avoid that scenario at all costs if I had any choice.

Sally-Anne


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 3:32 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2007 11:10 am
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Hi there

I haven't posted on here for a while but drop in occasionally and was interested in this thread. We were in similar position with dd who got into a sought after grammar school as well some independents. We eventually sent her to one of the independents because we thought it would suit her best and so far we've been very happy with the decision. However, I do sometimes feel that she did so well to get into the grammar and it seems in a way a shame not to have taken up the opportunity. But I think that is my problem not hers. Many people I meet where schools come up in conversation don't even know she got into the grammar and I feel her achievement in getting a place there somehow isn't recognised. But again I stress that is my problem. She is very happy at the moment and in the end that is what matters.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 3:34 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2007 11:10 am
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Sorry, so I should have said. I think you should send your dd to the school which you think suits her best as an individual, not as a response to how hard it is or isn't to get a place. I also don't think you should go to Pates with a view to moving her at 13 as this seems to me the worst of all worlds.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 3:46 pm 
Hi herewegoagain,

Was her independent school selective? If so then surely that is equally as special that she passed. Many independents are more selective than GS, so her independent exam achievement may be higher than you think. :)


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 3:49 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 12, 2008 11:32 am
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I would strongly advice against planning to move schools after 2 years. All school moves are disruptive-both socially and academically.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 10:16 am 
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Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:47 am
Posts: 3310
Location: Warwickshire.
Wow, what a flurry of activity the independent section has had while I've been away!!!

Right, back to business...
I agree with the thought that you should do what is best for each daughter as an individual. I am unsure (like Sally-Anne) how settled your DD1 will feel if she knows that the plan is to uproot her after 2 years.

Also, the place that she vacates after 2 years could be filled by another child who would hopefully keep that place throughout her secondary schooling from the outset. Does that make sense? Basically, if you have the option of sending your daughter to CLC I would do that and leave the GS place for someone who cannot opt into the independent section.

Well done to your daughter, she has clearly worked hard to get into Pates


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