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 Post subject: I Knew It!!
PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:20 am 
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Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:20 pm
Posts: 4660
DD is sitting her 2nd choice indie entrance exams all day today.

In the other thread on interviews, the question was raised regarding what to wear.

My dd wanted to wear jeans and a hoodie (we were advised smart casual for the exams).

After all the discussion, I decided to err on the side of caution and made dd wear her jeans with a smart broderie anglaise smock and up-to-date cardigan over it (she did look very nice :) ).

When we got there EVERYONE (literally) was wearing jeans and hoodies!!! OK, they were extremely expensive hoodies (they drip money in that particular school) but hoodies none-the-less.

DD wasn't best pleased when she saw them I can tell you.

Which added to the immense wave of bad thoughts emminating from said child.

Last night it suddenly dawned on her she was moving schools in September. She also realised the school she was sitting for today has over 2500 pupils, whilst she is only used to 100 (I think actual numbers are 104) and she was feeling overwhelmed.

We had tears and tantrums last night, but I managed to allay her fears (I think) promising her that, after going back today (and telling her to remember she was the one who picked the school because she liked it sooooo much when she went there) and sitting the exam and interview, if she really, really didn't like it we wouldn't make her go, but that she had to keep her options open.

She was sooooo grumpy with me this morning. She was being extremely brave and going along with it (another little girl behind us was trembling and crying, but that was because her two older brothers already attend the school and she was afraid of failing). DD literally wouldn't speak to me and I just wanted to cry. I so wanted to say 'Come on, we're going home', and I almost did. If it wasn't for the uncertainty about schools I surely would have done!!

It felt so different this time. First time at the 11+ tests I wanted to cry, but that was because I felt I'd thrown her to the wolves (she was fine about it all and went off quite happily). The second time (Monday of this week) neither of us had any qualms. But today I feel as if I've made her do something she really doesn't want to do - which technically I know I have - but it's for her own good, isn't it?

Do you think the bag of Cadbury's eggs (the ones with the crispy outside shell) will make her smile when she comes out?

Should I be trying any other forms of bribery to get back into her good books?

I do hope she forgives me :cry: :cry: :cry:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:26 am 
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Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 5:27 pm
Posts: 3451
Location: london
chocolate definitely - is this your last exam? Sorry her lsat exam. If so in my experience just hte fact that itis over will make her so happy she'll have forgotten why she was cross inthe first place.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:27 am 
Poor Snowdroplet! I meant smart for the interview, not necessarily the exam!

Bribery is definitely the key and you just have to remind her that all she has to do is one last interview. If you feel she's not done well today or will not do well in this interview, then may be it would be good to get in touch with the other school about the converstaion with the head to show that you are keen. :?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:35 am 
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Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:20 pm
Posts: 4660
Yes, last one today. (with just he interview to follow on Wednesday).

I figure if they don't make her an offer based on her performance, then I'm not going to beg for one.

All my life I've never pushed myself forward and I can feel me doing it now with my dd.

She scored excellently in the 11+, she's captain of her school, has a reading age of 15.6, can hold in-depth conversations about the views of Stephen Hawking, plays cricket and piano and is admired by adults who know her.

For once I'm thinking I should put my trust in faith - I'm going with the status quo!!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 12:08 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:41 pm
Posts: 686
Location: South Wilts
Please don't doubt yourself or the choices you've made for a second. You are not pushing her, just giving her the opportunity to go to a school where she will shine. If you hadn't done it she will always wonder 'what if?' when she's older. She's just a normal 11 year old girl have a wobbly moment. You can't really blame her for being scared of the change from being a big fish in a little pond to being a minnow again. After all the months of practice papers and preparation it has all suddenly become VERY REAL!

We're going through this at the moment too and with the added complication of hormones etc, I will be so glad when it's all over and I can dedicate whole weeks to waiting for the postman! :lol:

Just keep reminding her that she's done well scoring highly on the 11+ and that it was all down to her putting in the effort and that you are really proud of her whatever the outcome. :D

Oh, and the chocolate is a good idea too, with a big hug!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 12:10 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:31 pm
Posts: 1192
We went for school uniform everytime and so did almost everyone else taking the exams regardless of their background; I'm surprised at the level of mufti.

And again... decide what you want... maybe you're just becoming aware of some of the factors that will help you decide!

Regards
SVE

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 Post subject: Sycamore is so right
PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 12:22 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 2:36 pm
Posts: 459
Location: Rugby
We are going through this too and I can tell you, as single Dad (divorced) who is a veteran 'single parent' (eldest DD at Uni) have not felt so lonely since the day had to deliver DD at home. In fact, thinking about it, that was much easier!
We are all rooting for you! Stick to your principles!
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 12:28 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:20 pm
Posts: 4660
Thanks everyone - I don't actually feel any better about it, but it's good to know others are out there.

Sassies' dad, you have my deepest admiration. It's hard enough doing it with the back-up of a significant 'other half', but to do it on your own, well, that takes some doing!!! You're not alone -we're all rooting for you too :)

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 12:49 pm 
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Joined: Sun Nov 19, 2006 12:48 pm
Posts: 163
We're in the middle of it all too (well, DD has last exam next Friday but then we've got the wait for results) and I can't believe how stressful it's been. Sassie's Dad, I take my hat off to you.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 2:29 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jan 08, 2009 5:00 pm
Posts: 558
Location: Wales
Awwwwww poor Snowdroplet, it does sound as if the whole thing is just starting to become a reality in her head and it's S C A R Y !

I think you were right to tell her that if in the end she really doesn't want to go to a particular school then you won't make her go. This is what I have said to my DS and it seems to have relaxed him loads.

I bet you that she feels much better when you pick her up as she will have found the papers easy peasy and they were the last ones anyway. :D Tell her how proud you are with lots of hugs and the eggs are definitely a good idea!

Let us know how it went!

x x x


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