Go to navigation
It is currently Fri Dec 09, 2016 7:47 am

All times are UTC




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 26 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: downside of pre-testing
PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 12:26 am 
I am really struggling on trying to decide which type of school to send my son to - coed or ss, fullboarding or a mix of day and boarding, large or small school. The decision is so difficult because I don't know how he is going to develop socially or personality-wise in the next two years but I have to make some decisions relatively soon.

Can anyone advise how much a boy is likely to develop between the ages of 10 and 13 and in what ways they develop (I don't mean physically or academically)?

Has anyone been through the pre-testing stage and then their son changed so much that the school no longer suited at 13?

Any advise greatly appreciated! :)


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:26 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed May 09, 2007 2:09 pm
Posts: 875
Location: Solihull, West Midlands
Hi Tipsy

I don't know whether the lack of replies so far to your query is due to the post title, as I know nothing at all about "pre-testing". However I have had two boys pass through the ages of 10 to 13 plus observed many other friends' boys.

I don't think you can separate out the physical development, as the variation in the timing of that affects a lot of other things. 10 year old boys of my acquaintance are often very lively, cheeky (sometimes), obsessed with their special interests (football, cars, chess or whatever), happy to play alongside friends who are mostly other boys, oblivious to what they wear unless it's a favourite t-shirt, no idea about washing, put up with school as a necessary evil, like to be doing things rather than chatting, regard girls as an alien and slightly puzzling pink species... They won't necessarily do what they're told but ignore it because they're busy with something more interesting (involving mud..) and possibly get up far too early at the weekends

By 13 some of them are still like that (!): but some have grown up faster physically, have become a bit more unco-ordinated as their brains fail to keep up with their increased gangliness, they may have a wider circle of interests and friends including girls and be happy to chat, more conscious (some of them) of wearing trendier clothes, probably still regard school as a necessary evil, but able to work hard at something that interests them (music, sport, raising chickens etc). They might also have started slamming doors, using deodorant, having showers rather than being put in the bath, causing their parents to despair etc etc.... They may not want to get up at all at the weekends...

Not sure if this helps at all! You have so many options it seems that it is impossible to be sure you can choose "the best" - but if they are bright boys, with a supportive family and circle of friends, how about relaxing a bit and looking for something that is "good enough" and will enable you to enjoy watching your boys as they grow up into stroppy teenagers and eventually talented young men. Their lives will not be blighted forever if they don't go to the "top" schools - no school will suit them perfectly, but constant anxiety about whether somewhere else would be/ have been "better" in some way won't help them feel settled.

Best of luck with all the decisions :)

Solimum


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:45 pm 
Thanks solimum.

This pre-test is relatively new for some schools although I believe it has been common practice in a few for some time. Bascially in Year 6 a child is tested academically and given an interview by a senior school to see if they wish to give them a conditional offer for entry into Year 9. If accepted you have to pay a deposit which is forfeited if you choose not to send them there. I can understand forfeiting a deposit if its a term before starting a new school but close to three years is ridiculous. Some of the schools which are similar and, in my opinion, in competition with one another have their tests at different points so you have to pay a deposit for one incase you get a rejection from the other. I would want to pay two deposits if one culd be returned at a later date though because I am unsure at the moment what school will suit my son at Year 6.

Regarding the schools I am looking at: I've chilled out and really just want the best one for my son, not necessarily the perceived "top" school, which is why knowing how they develop is really important.


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:51 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed May 09, 2007 2:09 pm
Posts: 875
Location: Solihull, West Midlands
Hi Tipsy

Yes three years in advance does seem absurd - mind you, I presume some of these schools used to interview the parents before the birth of the son and heir to see if their blood was blue enough, or is that a myth..! :lol:

S


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 3:11 pm 
I get the impression we're all googled before DS's sit the tests! :roll:


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 3:21 pm 
Offline

Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:51 am
Posts: 8113
T.i.p.s.y wrote:
I get the impression we're all googled before DS's sit the tests! :roll:


crumbs - I can imagine that is the case!!! .... how about a touch of name changing.... opportunity to acquire something far more (or less) exotic!!

Also .. can you imagine if the school couldn't find you on google - they wouldn;t able to resist seeing you!

Seriously though it is a real struggle to get it right and I'm not sure I could hack schools that were so fussy. I think you are right to query pre testing - lots of people find that kids change between 10 and 13 and wha seemed righ at one time may not be later on, and sometimes you have to just lose the deposit (have done it myself) when you realise that you have gone down the wrong path.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 3:56 pm 
Offline

Joined: Mon Dec 05, 2005 3:01 pm
Posts: 250
Location: Richmond
lol @ the 'puzzling pink things' - I feel a bit like that myslef sometimes having only boys!
My 11 year old is behaving worrying like a thirteen year old, while my nine year old loves his cuddly toys and acts at least 2 years younger than his numerical age...
Vis the googling - aaaaagh - had never thought of that....

_________________
Best Regards,
Thea


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 3:57 pm 
Dear Tipsy, I think your problem is really that you have too much choice, and that is no criticism of you as I am sure that if I had had enough money and confidence I would have done exactly the same as you. It isn't possible to predict how boys (or girls) will grow up and how much they will change. I believe your original two choices for your DSs were Eton or Winchester, and my best advice to you would be to settle on one of those (two of the very best schools in the world, after all) and then not think any more about it. Your DSs are fortunate enough to be at school with boys who will attend both of these schools (at least I assume DS2 is again by now) and their friends will mostly have a settled idea of where they are going, so your boys will accept your final decision and know where they stand.

Just one more piece of advice where boys in particular are concerned - unless it's already too late for this, please let them stay with their own age group however advanced they are academically. This is the one principle I managed to stick to with my DS1, and it is thing I am most relieved to have done, having seen what happened to some other boys of our acquaintance who were accelerated in line with their ability, but not with their emotional or physical maturity.

I hope this helps. I do understand how you are panicking slightly as the decision has to be made and you have so many options, but you really don't need to.


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:00 pm 
Offline

Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:21 pm
Posts: 11952
Also no school is 100% perfect all the time for every child.

Go with your 'gut feel' and then stick to your choice.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:22 pm 
Thea - our kids sound identical! :shock:

Thanks KES and G55. The decision I have to make this year is on E and W and I have no gut feeling about either! :roll: If he goes back a year then I'd want him in the most academic school so he'd be less bored, but if he goes back a year then his personality would suit the more robust school! :? :? :?

Of course if he stays back a year then that opens the possibility of a great coed school, and I'll make my life evenmore complicated! :roll:


Top
  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 26 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

All times are UTC


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 3 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
CALL 020 8204 5060
   
Privacy Policy | Refund Policy | Disclaimer | Copyright © 2004 – 2016