Parent evening woes

[Jules7]

Jules , you will make time because you sound that sort of person ....it can seem overwhelming, but you have seen the benefits with your elder DD. Your DD2 sounds as if she is on the right track and I should really try not to worry but just do your own thing at home. I know this is probably boring now, but DS2 was level 1/2c in year 2 sats ..I was constantly being pulled in the classroom to be told he was on some kind of SEN watch list but not told what to do..I would be booing my eyes out for days Fast forward to year 5 and his latest report shows he has gone up by 2 sub levels a term since year 4 and is now a level 5 for literacy ..high level 4 for maths ...I don't know whether this is 1 to 1 , a better teacher, maturity ..who knows, but there is hope ! I think if your child has it in her, which she sounds like she does and has a lovely mum such as yourself..she will do just fine.

Oh Scarlett, this is such a comforting post (not boring at all - it's great to hear of examples of when children have really progressed later on) and I am so glad your DS2 has done so well now. It gives me hope - thankyou!

[scarlett]

Glad it helps ! I wish I'd found this place years ago..it's such a great source of comfort and support .

[turtleglos]

I was constantly being pulled in the classroom to be told he was on some kind of SEN watch list but not told what to do..I would be booing my eyes out for days

Ds2 has had an iep since he started in reception, this changes according to how he isprogressing and ds1 had one as well for a while . Ds1 is now doing very well at a ss grammar and ds2 is coming on in leaps and bounds since he decided that he wants to learn. I thought that they were just there to give extra support in the area(s) needed. Surely every child should have their own learning plan.
As for primary parents evening- This was the most positive one we have had. I never felt that his teachers rated ds1 at anything, he wasn't g&t at anything and I always felt deflated after a parents evening. Dont worry to much, with your support I am sure that everything will be ok in the end.

[mystery]

Your school is amazing. How does someone who can get to a ss grammar school end up with an iep at any stage in their primary school life? At our school, the people who really do need them don't have them so far as I can tell. I think they just decide some children are really, really thick and there's no point in even trying.

We had our own parents' evening woes last night. DD2's maths targets for this term - not achieved it would seem - are things she could do before she even started this academic year (year 1) e.g. number bonds to 20. The teacher also told us that "she was slow to grasp new concepts". I asked what the new concepts were and there was no clear answer. There seems to be such a gulf between home and school it really is baffling. Maybe we should be asking for an IEP? Sounds like they work!!

Hoping things improve by KS2 - they did with DD1. Great teacher. Never lose hope.

[scarlett]

Mystery ..if you feel DD can do all these things with you at home, then who knows what other factors come into play at school which seem to be influencing her performance. I'm sure like DD1 she will get there...however if she hasn't reached her targets can't you put on The Unforgiving Coat and bravely ask her teacher why she hasn't reached them...and any particular maths topics she is weaker at ? Surely you're allowed to know what you can help her with at home ?

[mystery]

Nope, we are not allowed to know anything it would seem. Nothing changes there!! KS2 much better at least, but you've got to DIY it before then it would seem unless they pick your child as being one of their stars.

[scarlett]

.............but she's your star , Mystery ! and I've realised with mine, that just leave the school to their bit and you just get on with yours ...you know she's bright and lovely and much, much more and if you know all is fine when you sit down with her at home then try not to think about how her teacher thinks about her.I found with DS2 in particular that a different problem was found seemingly every day and I began to wonder if I was coming across as needing to know every little thing and so his teacher felt she had to comply in some way...so much better to take a step back, do your health days and then have the teacher ask you over and over what's happened for your child to improve so dramatically

[mystery]

Yes but the problem is I genuinely can't see what the school's bit is at the moment. I can hand on heart say that she has learnt virtually nothing from school in reception or year 1. With DD1 I could, apart from the time in year 2 when she was put in the middle group for no explicable reason for 1.5 school terms. Yes it's a good social experience, and there must be something or other going in that I am not aware of, but it genuinely is incredibly little for the amount of time she spends there.

I won't be complaining!! I have another plan up my sleeve ...... see PM.

Hope things going OK for your three.

[fatbananas]

I've realised that my DS gets disturbed/ distracted/ intimidated by other DC in his classroom, which, in turn, makes him slow, because, like you, I know he can do it at home. It's a confidence thing for him. I think there's a lot going on emotionally in KS1, quite apart from the academic, that DC have to learn to deal with. (Just that mine's taken it into year 3 with him too . Still, am beginning to notice an improvement ... ) It seems to me that with the girls in his class there is a LOT of emotional stuff going on - friendship patterns etc. which must also affect the learning dynamic. Is there some of that in your DD's class?

So, as usual, agree with Scarlett, just keep plugging away away at home. It's the long game we've got to think of - year 5/6, not each sub-wotsit (hard though that mental state is to sustain!)

[scarlett]

That's the thing isn't it ? Unless you fashion a spycam into a badge you've no idea how they concentrate at school especially with things they might not find that exciting. It's a maturity thing sometimes and I have to confess that if I'm working with particularly fun , talkative people it is a lot harder to rein yourself in and concentrate on the task at hand ....