Go to navigation
It is currently Sat Dec 03, 2016 7:52 pm

All times are UTC




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 29 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next
Author Message
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 12:38 pm 
Offline

Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 7:30 am
Posts: 2248
I realise this is a controversial issue, so let me say straight up that I know of several children who are thriving in education, a credit to their parents and have perfectly healthy attitudes, lovely manners and are articulate. However, I also know many whose vocabulary, manners, ability to amuse themselves and education 'seem' to have very much been affected by their extensive use of screens. Also, on the diplomatic side, I realise that I am a stay at home parent with time to prep tea during the school day, get other jobs done and free myself up for board game play, homework help etc, so please, forgive me for raising this and don't flame me for judging because I'm not.
Obviously though I have a worry in OUR household. One tween is perfectly happy to fill his time with books, games, lego etc etc. He loves the half hour of computer time they get every day. The other tween is also great at amusing himself with lego, reading etc but is constantly pushing the boundaries as regards limits on screen time. We are buying him a music player for Christmas (loves music) and are (oh how cruelly) removing media access on it, other than spotify. He has already asked this morning why he can't have iplayer on it. I fully believe that given a choice, this one would play a computer game or surf youtube or whatever, rather than a lot of the more imaginative play he does without it. Not all the time yes, but a bit like a room full of sweets, they may not eat them all the time, but they'd still eat more than they should, given the freedom to do so.

So, does anyone else here restrict computer and screen time like this? As youngsters it's easy as you just don't turn tv or pooter on and get down and play a game or send them to play, but not so easy when the pester power begins. Clearly as they grow up (10 now), they will decide much more for themselves and get more freedom, but am I alone in not wanting them to have access to youtube (even a totally innocent clip will attract the vilest comments underneath it which they will see), or the internet whilst they are so young?

I know we have the final say, and we do hold onto that, but I'd love any tips on managing it without conflict, if possible!!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 1:34 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2012 10:59 am
Posts: 3579
I restrict using parent restrictions on iPods, parental controls on the pc, and my finger hovering menacingly over the off button on other media! YouTube is strictly with dad only, as some of the comments left, to even perfectly innocent sketches are quite coarse, and some music videos display vile misogynistic tendencies, which in a house where I am outnumbered 4:1 I really do not wish to encourage.
Unfortunately the 13 year old has requested more freedom now, which we felt was justified, but he is under threat not to share his untightened restrictions with his bruvs.

My "tired" little boy got caught listening to music on his iPod at 11pm last night :shock: he had smuggled it up to his room after we had brought it down! Obviously he has lost it now until the weekend, but yes they do push the boundaries if it is their thing, ds3 does not show interest in iPods yet, but would play minecraft for the day if left alone.

It's very hard...to think our parents just had to wrestle smash hits out of our homework books!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 2:04 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Feb 06, 2011 4:10 pm
Posts: 522
I'm very torn about this and I am probably going to get a full on roasting but we don't limit screen time in our house at all. We have no rules about it, which is probably not the best way to approach things but my philosopy is that if I ban something it makes it so much more attractive than if I just arrange life so that there isn't a great deal of time to spend in front of a screen.

My girls both have very full after school schedules. They have activities on Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri and Saturday. They are free on Wednesday afternoons which are spent doing music practice and any homework that wasn't done on Saturday after which they may do whatever they choose.

Sundays are family time, we often do spend the afternoon watching a movie together on the couch whilst munching popcorn but we are also often out on Sundays. We have also been known to spend an hour on Saturday evening enjoying Strictly together! :o

Saturday morning is usually the time where they spend the most time on their screens as it's the day that I would like to catch up on my sleep having been up at 5:30 every morning during the week however once they've had breakfast it's homework time and then off to ballet and then home for more homework and music practice!

I haven't worked out how much screen time they get a week, perhaps I should because it's likely to be far more than I would like it to be.

We have google safe search enabled on all our devices as well as YouTube safe (prevents all those inappropriate comments from appearing) but my girls almost never use YouTube. My eldest dd uses the computer mostly to search for stuff on Amazon that she would like to buy and also to modify her website. She is also "writing" a book so she uses the pc for that quite a bit.

My youngest is more of a fan of minecraft and of Sky Go so that's what she does with her screen time. She also likes Google Earth and spends a good amount of time studying various parts of the planet using Google Earth. She likes to do research on topics that they are covering at school so she will look up things that she finds interesting. My feeling is that not all screen time is "bad" time.

Having said this, I now realise that my children are both total geeks! :D

My eldest would far rather read a book than anything else. Sometimes on a Wednesday, my girls will settle down in a bedroom upstairs and watch a movie together on one of their ipads. Luckily they have the same taste in movies (schmaltzy Disney animal movies) although Mary Poppins and Annie have lately taken their fancy.

My children seem to get bored with things if they are allowed to do them all day so they choose to fill their time with a variety of activities. Sometimes it will be a game of basketball outside or playing on the climbing frame and sometimes it will be a movie indoors or building a whole world in minecraft!

Interesting topic... maybe I should count up how much time they are spending on screens and start limiting it...


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 2:23 pm 
Offline

Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:47 pm
Posts: 2151
Location: Warwickshire
Talea51, I also am not very strict. I don't have any time limits, just when I realise any one of my four cherubs have been on their iPads/iPods/shared computer, I simply remove them, or turn the broadband off. But that's only when I realise they haven't done anything else.

Sometimes I wish computers had never been invented, yet how can I talk, I spend ages "chatting" on here, ordering food shopping, looking for Christmas presents, eBay, email, genealogy sites ... the list goes on.

Dc1 watches the News, looks at Whatcar? information, and rather geeky if dull things. I do check history (although we have parental blocks - think that's what I mean!). Dc2 spends all her life on fb catching up on news from school. Total waste of time and I often remove her iPad.

Dc3 will not use one, apart from for games occasionally. She's 11 and I've got her emailing her friends, because I can see they all email each other and I want to encourage these friendships. I worry that she doesn't even use the computer for her homework. I suppose it's a good thing, all her work is truly her own, but some of it is simply wrong because she didn't check. She recently wrote a very good account of a battle - but it was the wrong one - she would never check in a book and she just doesn't seem interested in the computer. I find her attitude rather odd. So I have to nag her to use the computer sometimes.

Dc4 is 7 and addicted to YouTube which simply isn't healthy. He was obsessed with the Titanic recently, if you type in the first three letters, you get all sorts of interesting images. Broadband is off overnight so he can't use it before we're around (won't be long till he works out how to turn it on). I try to strictly monitor what he watches.

I wish we sat around playing board games. That only happens when we go on holiday where there is no wifi, no phone, no phone reception for mobiles. It's heaven. The kids all moan, but then enjoy playing. We have family walks/bike rides/visit friends - but what do kids do at friends houses? Play on the computer. Suddenly tv isn't so popular.

I wish we'd never been given two iPads. I spend most evenings nagging and confiscating. It's difficult. But we must all be in the same boat, and hats off to parents who manage to restrict computer time to a minimum.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 2:32 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2012 10:59 am
Posts: 3579
Talea51..this could be v useful, how do I get" YouTube safe" on their iPods then? Does it get rid of everything dodgy...how does it detect swearing etc. SB


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 4:36 pm 
Offline

Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 7:30 am
Posts: 2248
Just reading replies and wanted to say first off thanks so much for not flaming me! It is a contentious subject and you have all been very fair in your discussion of it. To be honest, it sounds like you are all handling it far better than I do! There is certainly a certain amount of putting the genie back in the lamp type aspect to this. I fear that once I have opened those floodgates I will never be able to close them again. Those safety programs sound good, like youtube safe. Like several of you, I do thi it's much harder these days. When I was growing up tv of any interest w s only on for an hour after school on two channels and a joyful 1.5 hours before grandstand on a Saturday! So my parents could leave us total freedom because there was nothing of interest on, in fact there was nothing on full stop!
I say again that it's easier for me as I am able to organise during school hours and am not just rushing in from work, so it's easier to insist on no screens. But, I really feel pressured to give inan d I'm sure they think I'm an old harpy (probably am :lol: )


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 5:13 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2012 10:59 am
Posts: 3579
I do remember ww2 over "grange hill" now I come to think of it a bit clearer!

Sooner or later they will want to use phones for instagram, Facebook and so on...when that happens...ds 1 was about 12, you are in a double dilemma, and when you take their mode of socialising away you feel even harpier, and all their mates will send lol messages when they find out! Goodness knows how I will control ds1 when he has his school iPad? Ds2 is currently on ps3, but he has done hw, and fed animals, ds1 on vle for school, ds3 doing crafty stuff. Me on my kindle reading my book, and messages, while veg are boiling...so I cannot really talk!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 7:45 pm 
Offline

Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 7:30 am
Posts: 2248
southbucks3 wrote:
I do remember ww2 over "grange hill" now I come to think of it a bit clearer!

Sooner or later they will want to use phones for instagram, Facebook and so on...when that happens...ds 1 was about 12, you are in a double dilemma, and when you take their mode of socialising away you feel even harpier, and all their mates will send lol messages when they find out! Goodness knows how I will control ds1 when he has his school iPad? Ds2 is currently on ps3, but he has done hw, and fed animals, ds1 on vle for school, ds3 doing crafty stuff. Me on my kindle reading my book, and messages, while veg are boiling...so I cannot really talk!


They will get mobiles when they start secondary, but they won't be smart, I had a really sleek small mobile which they can have and we'll get another one. i am reliably informed by a friends daughter at local high school (and she's just moved from one to another) that there are plenty with old/non smaetphones, so hoping that will be ok.
As for in the house, we have ipads, they never leave downstairs, and a desktop, which is in the main family area, so mum can always wander past and see you looking up "Titanic" :roll: :roll: so possibly not worth the risk.
You're right though about peer group, most times they go to a friends house they end up surfing youtube etc, whihc I hate, but I can't make them social pariahs! Just anohter reason I'm glad we live more remotely than having mates on the street would allow. The resultant need to drop them by car to any friend's house is good for my liver (stay off the bottle!! :lol: ) and better for a bit of control over screen time.........
Was Grange Hill BBC? I must have watched it then! Was never allowed ITV :lol: :lol:
Remember being desperate to have yur tea on your lap in front of TOTP and not being allowed and missing it because no way to record, or pause????? Just mean.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 8:23 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2009 9:28 pm
Posts: 2439
We're fairly relaxed with our dcs (aged 13 and 11) in that we don't monitor what they watch/view but they do have limits. Ie. when they must end etc and if we catch them watching mine craft when they are supposed to be doing homework, then the laptop gets banned. We have an open door policy, so we can always see what they are doing.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Dec 04, 2013 12:24 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Feb 06, 2011 4:10 pm
Posts: 522
pheasantchick wrote:
We're fairly relaxed with our dcs (aged 13 and 11) in that we don't monitor what they watch/view but they do have limits. Ie. when they must end etc and if we catch them watching mine craft when they are supposed to be doing homework, then the laptop gets banned. We have an open door policy, so we can always see what they are doing.


I have only once had to remove the ipads as they were watching a movie instead of doing homework. It was such a traumatic experience for them, they haven't done it again! :lol: :lol:

We too have an open door policy.

My dd1 has a smartphone, she even has a small data allowance. She never uses her phone for internet surfing because she's terrified to go over her data allowance as she knows I will take her phone away if she does. She uses the data allowance for WhatsApp and I periodically read through her conversations in WhatsApp. She isn't keen on this but it was a condition of her getting the phone.

Recently, she learnt the value of this arrangement. One of her friends was forwarding some really scary chain letters on WhatsApp. They were ridiculous but very scary when you are only 11. I saw that this child had sent a number of these messages despite requests from other children for her not to do so and it was clear to me that she was doing it because she was afraid and she was worried that if she didn't, the threats in the chain letter would come true for her. I called her mum (someone I know quite well) and informed her and she spoke to her daughter and reassured her and also was able to find out where her daughter was receiving these messages from. The chain letters stopped, all the other girls who had been receiving them were pleased and so was my dd and she learnt a valuable lesson. :D :D

As for YouTube safe here is the link to it on youtube where it explains how to opt in and how it works.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkI3e0P3S5E

There is also parental control software built in to Windows where you can limit the amount of time users are allowed on the pc and what times of day they are allowed. It does mean that you need to have separate user accounts for everyone in the house but, in the interests of security, this is best practice in any case.

How this would work is that you would have an account for say child 1 where you could specify what times they are allowed on the pc and then windows will prevent them from logging on if it's not their time slot! You can also use it to block unsafe sites etc.

It was much easier when I was a kid because TV only started at 6pm. My bedtime was 8pm so there wasn't a lot of TV watching that could be done unless you wanted to spend your time watching the Test pattern. :lol:

It's tricky but I think the key is to find a balance that works for your family.

My brother-in-law has banned TV, DVDs, Internet, pc games everything. It has always been this way in his house and my nephew (9) spends his afternoons at his friend's house playing on his playstation because no consoles are allowed at my brother-in-law's house at all.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 29 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

All times are UTC


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
CALL 020 8204 5060
   
Privacy Policy | Refund Policy | Disclaimer | Copyright © 2004 – 2016