mixing the two form year six classes

[RedVelvet]

I'd be interested on your take, Guest55, on friendship groups. I've noticed that boys we know seemed to have problems with this towards the end of yr8 and in yr9, whereas with girls yr6/7 seems to be more of an issue. With an older boy and younger girl heading into these ages together any insight would be great.

[southbucks3]

I don't think the problem is the shuffle, that's good imo, the problem is the one/three split of your boys friendship group, this is ill observed as the three won't have the chance to spread themselves, which was the objective and at break times the one will feel hacked off for a few weeks until he has new mates. Normally teachers do allow the children to name two friends with the chance you will be with one of them.

Hopefully he will make new friends and retain his old ones during streamed classes.

Fingers crossed. X

[mystery]

Agreed. If it was for the stated objective they would have been more careful about how they hacked up the current friendship groups. I think it is for some other unstated reason.

[Guest55]

Friendship groups seem (and a huge generalisation) to be more important to girls.

The end of term one in Year 7 seems a time when they feel settled and look to seek friends outside those they came to the school with. This can be fine or it can cause a 'rift' where one friend seeks to move on but the other doesn't want to ..

Boys seems to have more fluid friendship groups and we get fewer 'rifts' - although they can be spectacular when they do happen.

[mystery]

In what way do the staff get involved in your grammar school G55 with the friendship side of things? I ask because at our primary school they brush it all off with "girls will be girls" and "boys will be boys" type statements, do nothing with the children themselves to promote easier relationships apart from the occasional assembly on the theme of friendship; if a child is ever bothered for a long time about friendship isssues to the point that we raise it at school, they tell us that there won't be time for any of this kind of thing at secondary school with an underlying unspoken subtext that any parent who thinks about this side of school at all is verging on crazy.

[Guest55]

We give very strong messages about bullying and that there are no innocent bystanders ... so if you know X is being mean to Y then you are guilty if you don't do something.

If two students fall out it depends why and whether there's bullying involved - Year 7 tutors teach PSHE and their tutor group for their specialist subject (if at all possible) so they get to know the class quite quickly. Sometimes just sitting down with the pair and letting them both talk helps ... having an adult listening tends to tone down the emotions.

If someone is being nasty to others then they are the one moved not the victims ...

[mystery]

Sounds good. It's the sitting the two (or more) children down together and enabling a meaningful discussion that doesn't happen at our primary school --- and I think that's a shame as if it can't happen then (and the classes are small) when can it happen. Maybe senior school will be better. But by then they've had it drummed into them at our school that you shouldn't talk about stuff at home or tell a teacher when things bother you as it's just a pain and a waste of time to the adult, or worse still, you're going to be told off in front of the class or the relevant children (albeit in a subtle way but clear enough to a bright child) for having said something negative about school at home.

[Guest55]

We're certainly not unique - I know there are lots of schools that do similar.

[mystery]

Hope so. I think that's really good - one of the most important things you can teach / learn when it comes down to it really.