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 Post subject: Thank you
PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 1:26 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2009 12:31 pm
Posts: 1
A very long first post.

Over the last few months I have been "lurking" on this forum as I have read this is what you call someone who reads but doesn't post. I found this forum by accident during the entrance exam process, a little bit late but better than never.

Last year when my DC sat their entrance exams for a selective state school, something happened to DC during that exam, that I had not warned the school about. I don't wish to go into detail in case I can be identified. Surfice to say, my DC has a condition that DC was born with, however I did not consider it something that would cause a problem. How wrong I was. Since that time many months ago, I have been in a mixed state of emotions over what I allowed to happen. I am sure, as parents you will understand the guilt you feel if you think you have prevented your child from performing at their best in whatever situation. Allocation day came and it was confirmed DC had missed out on the selective school. DC had a place at an independent, however financially I could not afford the fees. We had the local comp.

It is this forum that has helped me, reading the posts of so many parents who too have experienced heartbreak. I have read many posts from many areas as well as the appeals forum. Being new to this process and the UK system I was not aware there was an appeals process. However after allocation day, it was because of the forum that I began to consider whether I could appeal. I contacted an advisor that I found somehow via this forum and discussed the situation. They advised me to appeal to the selective school and another on special needs. I did it on my own, they gave me the confidence to try. I began gathering my supporting data.

For many weeks on the way to work I would be in tears because of what I did or did not do. Reading the posts of so many of you, the shared joy, the spats, the debates, the frustration, the anguish, the sadness of failed appeals, general discussions, I learnt a lot and it helped sustain me. There are so many I want to say thank you to; Snowdrops, Lion63, Tipsy, Guest55, Sally-anne, Trafford Mum, Etienne, Ed's Mum, Loopyloulou, yoyo123, bougalou, daisy (mum of J, I could not believe you got a no), fm, looking for help, there are simply too many to list, all the parents who had the strength to make their concerns public.

Today on the way to work, I could not stop the tears running down my face, emotion took over, last night I got the letter saying my selective state school appeal was unanimously upheld. That it was clear there was an anomaly in the scores of DC. Seeing the tears in DC's eyes last night who rarely shows emotion was wonderful.

I am posting because I want others to know, please don't give up, I nearly did, but went through the process because I knew for me I had to do whatever I could to rectify what I had not done. My special needs appeal, which was first, was unsuccessful, so I know how it feels to go through a bad appeal and then get a negative result. Admittedly my selective appeal was much better with the other parties agreeing they could see that something went wrong. Go to appeal, the ombudsman if you feel you have to, getting the no after appeal is heartbreaking, but living with something you did not do but wished you had as I have is horrible.

I will finish this long post and I may not post again, with three words.

THANK YOU ALL.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 1:44 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:51 am
Posts: 8113
Mistyone,

It is lovely to hear from you and thank you for posting about your experience.

It is fantastic news about your DC's appeal - I really hope you have a good time celebrating and that DC settles in well there - CONGRATULATIONS to you all.

I think it goes to show that there are a lot of people who get information advice and supprt through this forum as they go along the route of making decisions about education (and having to deal with the consequences of others people's decisions about education...).

They don't post (they are very welcome to do so , but perhaps they feel that may be identified from the info or maybe feel shy, or think you have to be slightly OTW - who knows ) - and it doesn't matter, except we love to hear from you!!!

Stick around Mistyone - you may well be able to help many others out!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 1:49 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:20 pm
Posts: 4660
Wow Mistyone, some first post!!

I'm so glad you found this forum, it's the greatest thing when no-one 'out there' tells you what's happening in this crazy mixed up system.

How very brave of you to go through all that on your own!

Never, ever blame yourself for anything which happens, I'm a firm believer that things happen in the way they are meant to, and things ALWAYS turn out the way they should in the end.

Glad my mad ramblings may have lightened a moment or two along the way for you, but know so many others hav contributed far, far more to this forum than myself.

What a fantastic outcome for you, the happiness will last a looooong time, believe me! :D

Excellent, well done!!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 2:10 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 22, 2007 2:29 pm
Posts: 593
Location: Trafford
Mistyone, my eyes are a bit misty after reading that. Many congratulations on your successful appeal and your determination in seeing it through. I wish your child every success at their grammar school.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 2:11 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 22, 2007 2:29 pm
Posts: 593
Location: Trafford
Mistyone, my eyes are a bit misty after reading that. Many congratulations on your successful appeal and your determination in seeing it through. I wish your child every success at their grammar school.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 2:43 pm 
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Joined: Thu Dec 18, 2008 10:12 am
Posts: 3758
Location: Berkshire
Mistyone,
Congratulations on your success, and thank you for your post, it has cheered me up :lol:
Good luck to you and your child for the future,

LFH


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 2:50 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 9:37 pm
Posts: 219
Absolutely smashing to hear a happy ending, Mistyone.

I have no idea which bit of what I said helped or encouraged or otherwise but that is one of life's eternal mysteries - you get a ray of hope when you least expect it.

Best Wishes to you and your DC for a bright and fulfilling future.

Lion63


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 4:15 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:21 pm
Posts: 11949
Wow!

Well done for not giving up ...

I am so delighted for you and I hope your DC is very happy at their new school. :D :D :D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 6:50 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2007 5:44 pm
Posts: 345
Well done Mistyone

I have now joined the "lurkers" but your post put a huge smile on my face.
I have no doubt you will have inspired many present and future parents.

Please stick around.

I wish you and your child the best of everything in the future :D :D :D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 7:21 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:47 am
Posts: 3310
Location: Warwickshire.
Wow!! Mistyone, that is an amazing result. It's so wonderful, and I am pleased that you posted about what happened to you and your child. That SHOULD be your last post, you won't be able to top that (!!)

SO pleased for you and your child. x


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