A very long first post.
Over the last few months I have been "lurking" on this forum as I have read this is what you call someone who reads but doesn't post. I found this forum by accident during the entrance exam process, a little bit late but better than never.
Last year when my DC sat their entrance exams for a selective state school, something happened to DC during that exam, that I had not warned the school about. I don't wish to go into detail in case I can be identified. Surfice to say, my DC has a condition that DC was born with, however I did not consider it something that would cause a problem. How wrong I was. Since that time many months ago, I have been in a mixed state of emotions over what I allowed to happen. I am sure, as parents you will understand the guilt you feel if you think you have prevented your child from performing at their best in whatever situation. Allocation day came and it was confirmed DC had missed out on the selective school. DC had a place at an independent, however financially I could not afford the fees. We had the local comp.
It is this forum that has helped me, reading the posts of so many parents who too have experienced heartbreak. I have read many posts from many areas as well as the appeals forum. Being new to this process and the UK system I was not aware there was an appeals process. However after allocation day, it was because of the forum that I began to consider whether I could appeal. I contacted an advisor that I found somehow via this forum and discussed the situation. They advised me to appeal to the selective school and another on special needs. I did it on my own, they gave me the confidence to try. I began gathering my supporting data.
For many weeks on the way to work I would be in tears because of what I did or did not do. Reading the posts of so many of you, the shared joy, the spats, the debates, the frustration, the anguish, the sadness of failed appeals, general discussions, I learnt a lot and it helped sustain me. There are so many I want to say thank you to; Snowdrops, Lion63, Tipsy, Guest55, Sally-anne, Trafford Mum, Etienne, Ed's Mum, Loopyloulou, yoyo123, bougalou, daisy (mum of J, I could not believe you got a no), fm, looking for help, there are simply too many to list, all the parents who had the strength to make their concerns public.
Today on the way to work, I could not stop the tears running down my face, emotion took over, last night I got the letter saying my selective state school appeal was unanimously upheld. That it was clear there was an anomaly in the scores of DC. Seeing the tears in DC's eyes last night who rarely shows emotion was wonderful.
I am posting because I want others to know, please don't give up, I nearly did, but went through the process because I knew for me I had to do whatever I could to rectify what I had not done. My special needs appeal, which was first, was unsuccessful, so I know how it feels to go through a bad appeal and then get a negative result. Admittedly my selective appeal was much better with the other parties agreeing they could see that something went wrong. Go to appeal, the ombudsman if you feel you have to, getting the no after appeal is heartbreaking, but living with something you did not do but wished you had as I have is horrible.
I will finish this long post and I may not post again, with three words.
THANK YOU ALL.