not doing 11+

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rharris
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2009 10:43 pm

not doing 11+

Post by rharris »

My ex has just told me that my daughter has done the mock test and is getting upset and is unlikely to pass and therefore is being told she does not have to do them????

Has anyone else come across this?

My son was told he would almost certainly not pass the 11+ but he still took it.

My thoughts are she should do them even if she fails, I failed mine her brother who is 2 years older failed his surely the other kids knowing she never had to sit the exam would be worse for her than failing it?.

Surely it is better to try and fail them than to be singled out and not do them at all.

I should point out that my ex and i are still mid divorce and despite me agreeing to her still living in the house as long as she can formally take on the mortgage and pay me back later, she has been told she cant finacially so that may have to trigger a sale of the house. Is there a possible other motive in this??

any experiance or possible motive understanding from anyone would be greatfully recieved.
capers123
Posts: 1865
Joined: Sun May 13, 2007 9:03 pm
Location: Gloucestershire

Re: not doing 11+

Post by capers123 »

rharris wrote:My ex has just told me that my daughter has done the mock test and is getting upset and is unlikely to pass and therefore is being told she does not have to do them????
In Gloucestershire, probably other counties, it's optional - many, many children don't take it for a whole variety of reasons.
Capers
Milla
Posts: 2556
Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 2:25 pm

Post by Milla »

hi, it sounds like you're in a difficult situation and I hope things resolve themselves for you.
It might be most effective to put this question in the county forum which tallies with where your daughter lives. As Capers says, it's certainly not the norm to take it in Gloucs, but other counties (Bucks??) with far more grammars do have far more children sitting the test as a matter of course. Ours have to be organised by ourselves and sat at the grammar in question at our behest. Other counties follow different rules so it's hard to help without knowing which system you're in.
All the best, anyway.
mattsurf
Posts: 230
Joined: Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:44 am

Post by mattsurf »

What does your daughter think? We moved house in August, luckily we were able to get our son to see a tutor - after the first visit we were advised that he might struggle to pass the 11+. However, 5 weeks on, after he has had time to settle into a new school and blow those summer cobwebs away, his tutor is very confident that he will pass.

My point is that you are going through a divorce, and I can't think of anything much more disruptive for your daughter. However, there is still time. If she is prepared to work hard, most evenings, properly supported by one parent, going through weak areas, then it is still worth taking the exam. However, if she doesn't want to go through it this year, do you have the option of trying again next year? If she goes to a good comprehensive and fits in well it is not the end of the world.

This is a really personal issue that you need to resolve.
rharris
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2009 10:43 pm

Post by rharris »

Thank you for your replies.

I was all a bit academic in the end, the night i posted this was the night I recieved the email from my ex. The following day I rang the headmaster and did not get to speak to him till lunch time, reason being he was watching over the the 11+ exams so the decision was taken out of my hands anyway.

Yes I'm in Bucks and was not aware that its not compulsary, after talking to the head I fully understand why my daughter was not pushed into doing it as she was getting very upset.

If my ex had talked to me about this situation before hand we would have probale come to the that solution anyway, what gauls me is she deliberately left it to the night before to inform me so I could do nothing about it, how incredibley petty, but thats a divorce for you.

anyway thanks again for the time you have taken to reply.
Milla
Posts: 2556
Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 2:25 pm

Post by Milla »

very sorry to hear this, rharris. I hope all works out for the best for you and your daughter.
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