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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 12:16 am 
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Joined: Wed Oct 21, 2009 2:01 pm
Posts: 29
Location: Sunny Tunny
If you dont mind, I have some questions that I would be grateful if you could answer them.

Do you think you did the right thing in appealing or do you think you child would have been better at a comp?

What marks did your child get and are they doing well at grammar?

Did your child suffer a loss of confidence when they realised they didnt get the required marks?
What did you do to help their confidence, did you involve the school?

If your child lost his/her confidence and therefore didnt want to go to grammar (but did before taking the test), how did you deal with this?

Sorry for all the questions, but I will be really interested in the answers and it will help me with my thoughts about my DD... :)


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:07 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:35 pm
Posts: 290
Location: kent
Have been through this very difficult time with our daughter. She was devastated when she 'failed' Friends all passed and things seemed pretty bleak for her at that time. We got through it by trying to concentrate on other things she enjoyed in life, telling her how proud we were of her, lots of happy 'family' time and generally trying to keep things as normal and relaxed as possible with laughs and 'silliness', along with hugs and lots of praise. I was also honest with her about how the system wasn't perfect and neither are any of us. Sometimes things don't work out for various reasons and the best thing to do was to think about all the good things going on in her life, relax, smile, be proud of herself and when she felt better about it all we could look at our options.

She began to bounce back slowly over the next few weeks, and with support and encouragement from the school decided to appeal as we all felt she would be happy and thrive in the grammar we were originally aiming for. Scores were 136,133 and 113. (pass mark minimum 115 on one paper, no less than 120 in other two that year) We knew that we may not win, but would be no worse off if not successful.Tried to be calm and focused about it without getting her hopes up. I also tried to talk up the alternative school and made it clear that we believed in her ability to thrive wherever she went schoolwise.

The appeal was hard work, lots of preparation ,stress and emotional ups and downs.(wish I had known about this site at the time)
I knew deep down she was suited to this particular school, didn't do herself justice on the day, and wanted her to have another chance to get there. Quite nerve-wracking doing the actual appeal, but it felt good to be able to 'put our case across' and panel seemed both fair and attentive.

Result? SUCCESS! We got in! Tears of joy this time. Was it worth it? A million times yes. Would I do it again? Absolutely!, Even if our appeal had failed it was a necessity for us to try as a sort of final 'closure' and to show her how much we believed in her.

She loves her school! Not the cleverest there, but still doing v well. Top sets for two of four subjects, has made some fantastic friends. Several others also got in on appeal (HT or parent) no one cares or can tell which they are, indeed my friends daughter who got in on appeal passed all her gcse exams with A* and was top of year at her Grammar!

We felt what we did was right for our daughter, win or lose it was right to try. Another friend did not appeal for hers because she decided it was not the right option, she admitted honestly that she had been swept away with the 11 plus 'frenzy' and that the local non selective was probably the right outcome for her creatively talented but less academic dd. She also was right!
No one knows your child as you do. I am sure that whatever you decide she will be happy and thrive.
Sorry it's long and I wish you all the very best


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 10:27 am 
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Joined: Wed Oct 21, 2009 2:01 pm
Posts: 29
Location: Sunny Tunny
Thank you Jingle :)
Your post has helped me a lot.
It is such an indecisive time atm. I expect I will be spending until March wondering what to do for the best.. :?


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 11:24 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 12:59 pm
Posts: 1268
Gosh, jingle, you were up late!

Tankey, we went through all this last year when DD didn’t pass the 11+. DS is at a very academic GS and loving it, and he always calls his sister the boffin so we appealed (also had, we thought, strong extenuating circumstances).

Regular posters will know my feelings about the appeal system :D so I won’t go into details here. Suffice to say we would never go down that route again. DD – and us – found the failed appeal much more upsetting than the failed 11+.

I would say DD had a slight loss of confidence which we addressed by emphasising that the 11+ is a very particular type of test to which not all DCs are suited (we have a family friend who is a straight A* student now at Oxbridge who didn’t pass). DD’s excellent Y6 SATS results helped rebuild her confidence.

We didn’t involve the school as we were having major difficulties with HT over DD’s health issues, but I would definitely recommend doing so if your DD has a good, supportive environment because they’re well placed to help her get over the disappointment.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 12:20 pm 
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Joined: Wed Oct 21, 2009 2:01 pm
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Location: Sunny Tunny
Thank you Rob.
I dont think I will be telling DD that we are appealing for GS, just incase it is turned down, but if we get accepted, then I will tell her.

She has her heart set on the comp (just out of catchment) and has said to me that if she doesnt get in there, then she would like the GS.

I will have to appeal for the comp and the GS....in fact, I will have to appeal to all four schools on my list :roll:


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:51 pm 
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Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:45 pm
Posts: 212
Location: Lincolnshire
Hi Tankey,
Our DS missed last year by one point on each exam.
We had to appeal all three of the schools on our list.Two GS & one high achieving comp. All three were unsuprisingly oversubscribed.
We felt we didn't have a choice as our allocated local comp is dire,as we well knew from having now grown up children attending there previously !
Sons confidence definately took a huge knock,but we spent a lot of time telling him he was great for even trying the 11plus & also explained that we were so lucky to live in a part of the country which actually offered a good deal of choice educationally. We visited & researched other schools with him whilst compliling our appeals.
We did involve the primary school in our efforts with varying degrees of success.HT- not pro 11plus,promised to help,but didn't much ! Class teacher in contrast was a treasure :lol:
DS never lost sight of the fact that he wanted GS,but was seriously impressed by what one comp not too far away had to offer.
We lost the first appeal for the high achieving comp,however,we amazingly won both our GS appeals,giving us yet another very unexpected but wonderful dillema !
DS has now completed is first term at his chosen GS. He has loved every minute. He has thrown himself wholeheartedly into every team & club he can fit in & scored level 9 in his CATs,putting him in the top 3% of children.
Was it worth it ?-most definately. Am I proud ?-you bet I am. I could burst some mornings when he leaves the house in that GS uniform :lol:
I could never have walked away without trying to appeal,no matter how limited our chances of success were.The 'what if' would have been unbearable.
To you & others now facing the appeals process, I wish you all the luck in the world. Sallyj x


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 4:14 pm 
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Joined: Wed Oct 21, 2009 2:01 pm
Posts: 29
Location: Sunny Tunny
Thank you sally...I didn't realise that I could end up with the possibility of being offered more than one school in the end :shock:
I have a feeling DD and I are about to walk a very long, bumpy, but interesting road.....


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 4:36 pm 
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Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:45 pm
Posts: 212
Location: Lincolnshire
Oooooh,bumpy yes,interesting,most definately :lol:
I didn't have a clue what appeals were or how they worked until I found this site,then went on to face three ! Madness,but very well worth every minute of the stress/sleepless nights.....etc...etc..... :lol:
To win two appeals was bizarre to say the least,& to be honest I felt guilty when I posted our good fortune earlier this year. I have never lost sight of the fact that there are many children both locally & nationally who weren't so lucky.
Sallyj


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 5:04 pm 
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Joined: Wed Oct 21, 2009 2:01 pm
Posts: 29
Location: Sunny Tunny
LOL, I havent slept since 19th October :D

I will feel the guilt the same as you in a way, because I am still not convinced that GS IS the best place for DD....she will be more confident at the top of a comp although she will do very well at a GS....oh descisions descisions.... :?


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 12:30 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:53 am
Posts: 66
Location: kent
I'd put the grammar down on your CAF. Come March things may be a bit clearer in your mind, and you can decide then which schools you want to appeal for. Why limit your options now?


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