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PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2010 6:00 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 10:30 pm
Posts: 960
My dd is now in Year 9. Yesterday she met up with 10 on her friends from Priamry school at the swimming pool ,and I had a chance to chat to many of their parents. We were all reminiscing about their year 6 leavers party, and how hideous and traumatic the whole process had been, and how unhappy and worried many of us had been, and how anxious about the future.

The children all went on to a variety of schools - some "good" some "OK" some "bad". State, and independent, grammar and high. Some that their parents were happy and proud to send them to, some that gave them tears and sleepless nights.

What I want to say is that there were 10 happy, confident young people in that pool. All doing well, heading for the GCSEs of their choice. There had been bumps along the way - one boy is now being home schooled (he was one of the ones who went to a grammar) and one had moved schools in year 8, but now, nearing the end of year 9, they were all a joy and a credit to their parents.All busy and achieving.

So please don't despair. All the parents I spoke to agreed that the secondary allocation process was one of the most traumatic times of their lives, but that if they had known then what they know now, they would have stopped worrying. (Well, worried less, anyway!).

So try not to think of not getting the school you want as the end of the world. Yes, it's easier to do well in some schools than others, but children can achieve and be happy anywhere. And in three years time, you will look back and realize that this is the truth - however much you think I'm talking rubbish now!


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PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2010 9:24 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2010 10:28 am
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Location: kent
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So try not to think of not getting the school you want as the end of the world. Yes, it's easier to do well in some schools than others, but children can achieve and be happy anywhere. And in three years time, you will look back and realize that this is the truth - however much you think I'm talking rubbish now!


Well said! :D

I have a friend who, a few years ago was trying desperately to get a grammar school place for her son, and was unable to do so. She was worrying tremendously about the school that her son was allocated, which she felt was not a very good school at all.

She spent many sleepless nights worrying about how her son would get on in this school, and all sorts of things went through her head. She worried about bullying, under-achieving and her son getting in with the 'wrong crowd', such was the 'reputation' of the school.

When he finally started the school, she found that he was actually very happy there, he did very well and there were no problems. All of her fears were unfounded.

Back to the present day - one very happy mother/father/son, all worries and fears melted away, couldn't be happier.


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PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2010 9:45 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 8:12 pm
Posts: 800
Location: Kent
I felt I should say something here, after all I am one of those currently 'worrying'. There are very good reasons for this, BUT I want to say this.

I am hopeful this will actually be the making of DS. He has been my baby, being the youngest of 3, and actually I know much of the resistance has been my own making.

He is a truly lovely boy, everyones friend and Head Boy at school. The teachers find him mature and responsible, his peers find him supportive and fun to be around. I find him loving, yet fragile. Who is right? Well, I would say nobody could know my boy better than me but I don't spend time with him in school!!!

So I am taking a deep breath and will stop wrapping him in cotton wool. His brothers will support him no matter where he is. He needs to find his own way, and wouldn't it be fantastic if he 'showed them all'?!!! I don't doubt him and as many of you have noted, even though you don't know me, I will support and encourage him to reach his potential. His personality is already there, he is enthusiastic and bright, and there is no reason to suspect he will fail because it isn't in his nature.

So he has a mobile phone, just in case he needs to phone his mum, even though the school rules say he is not allowed one in school. You might laugh but DS1 at times in Y7 rang me from the school toilets in tears and just needed to be told it would all be ok. He listened and went back to lessons with red eyes but feeling better :?

Onwards and upwards. :roll:


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PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2010 11:24 am 
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Joined: Sun Nov 01, 2009 1:51 am
Posts: 1161
T12ACY wrote:

Onwards and upwards. :roll:


yes T12ACY - and i expect he will fly :)


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PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2010 8:26 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jun 24, 2009 10:30 pm
Posts: 194
katel
what a very powerful message yours was. I am a few weeks away from my appeal hearing but in that emotional rollercoaster stage of thinking can I go through with it because what if my outcome is like T12acy... can ds and I cope with the devastation.

While I have been crying for those who haven't been successful and distressed to wake up to the reality that appeals don't always work despite all the evidence and efforts (as in T12acy's case and others), I will keep reading and re-reading your post because there has to be life after appeal and it CAN'T be the be all and end all of ds's school life. Thanks. :)


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PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 6:43 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2010 8:12 pm
Posts: 800
Location: Kent
panickattack - don't be put off by my story. It really was against all odds and while it has been devastating for us that the system has failed DS, with our support he will be OK.

Of course there is the very real prospect lots of appeals will be declined but don't lose focus now, you need to give it everything you have got and if you falter now it might affect your chances.

Chin up, I am wishing you all the very best :)


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PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 8:37 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 24, 2009 10:30 pm
Posts: 194
so kind and thanks so much. I hope that today is a better day for you and your ds. :)


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PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 9:58 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 10:30 pm
Posts: 960
I'm bumping this - with all due humility - because I genuinely think it might be helpful to some people.


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