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 Post subject: Appeal and children
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:02 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2011 8:05 pm
Posts: 11
Hi ,
We have lost our first appeal and we have one more appeal to go through. My daughter would like to come with us. She says that this appeal is about her and she would like to be there. She is a sensible child and quite interested in what is going on. Do you think it is ok for her to sit and listen?


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 Post subject: Re: Appeal and children
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:16 pm 
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Joined: Sun Nov 15, 2009 10:38 am
Posts: 94
Location: Medway
Hi,

So sorry to hear that you lost your first appeal.

Having already undertaken one Appeal for Year 7 and about to embark on yet another for Year 8, I would advise against her attending.

My DD too, has been and still is very 'switched on' to the whole process, but i still feel that at the tender age of 12, still to young to hear, at time some pretty critical comments.

From a totally personal point of view, I would also be less focused on the task in hand, and constantly aware that she is in the room.

Good luck with whatever you decide and hope you have a positive outcome. x


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 Post subject: Re: Appeal and children
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:26 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2011 8:05 pm
Posts: 11
Thank you Hellybeds,
I haven't thought of that point. It might distract me to know that she is right behind me and wonder what she is feeling.
I have my second thoughts!


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 Post subject: Re: Appeal and children
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:52 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2005 5:26 pm
Posts: 7059
http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/appeals/general#a14

I would advise against. It can make it difficult for both the parent and the panel if the child is present.

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Etienne


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 Post subject: Re: Appeal and children
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 10:07 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:35 am
Posts: 755
Hello !
I have been through 3 appeals and cannot stress enough my recommendation that you dont take your daughter. We have been through 3 appeals and though I think our ds is switched on and interested in the process and has said that he would like to come I think as a mum I would be very protective knowing that he was there. The comments can appear critical and adverse and I would warn against anyone wanting to take their child along.On the one hand you may think that the presence of your dc may sway the panel but I personally would not want to feel the level of distraction knowing that my lovely son was with me!!! It would prevent us from giving it our all and I would worry about the comments that may 'haunt' our ds as at such a young age he may think he could handle it but in reality may not. I also think that it might make the panel feel uncomfortable. .................
Tigger
xx


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 Post subject: Re: Appeal and children
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 10:16 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2005 5:26 pm
Posts: 7059
Quote:
On the one hand you may think that the presence of your dc may sway the panel .....
This is a very important point. The panel are not allowed to assess or 'interview' the child - their role is to weigh up the evidence (not the child! :)).

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Etienne


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 Post subject: Re: Appeal and children
PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:09 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:35 pm
Posts: 290
Location: kent
I would agree with everyone else. Having gone to appeal, I would definitely NOT recommend doing this for several reasons.
1 The panel may not feel able to ask certain questions with your child present which may make it harder for them to get to the full facts of your case
2 You may feel concious of your child listening, and not able to say certain things, or feel distracted
3 Although I am sure you are not doing this personally, it could surely come across as an attempt to influence them to come down on your side, which could be seen as 'below the belt tactics'
4 It can be very tough and draining emotionally - The panel, although very civilized and polite, were quite formal and the questions were direct and 'searching' in our appeal

I think you have more to gain in not taking her, than in her coming along because she wants to. It most certainly will not help and may actually make it more difficult to get your points across.

It is specifically BECAUSE the appeal is about her that it would be much more objective and focused if she was not there.

Please feel free to ignore if you disagree. I just feel quite strongly about it as someone I know (not well) insisted on taking their child to an appeal because they thought it would 'tug at the panels heartstrings a bit' to see their lovely daughter in the flesh so they could see her as a 'real person, not a statistic'. Anyway, it was quite traumatic for her. They didn't win the appeal, and the sense of rejection to the child was magnified hugely because of her involvement on the day.

Very best of luck anyway


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 Post subject: Re: Appeal and children
PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 9:26 am 
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Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2011 8:05 pm
Posts: 11
Thank you so much for all your inputs. This is why this forum is so invaluable. We tend to think only in one direction but it is so good to hear others thoughts and to have an open mind.
I will not be taking her with me as I agree strongly with all your comments.
Thank you again
bell


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 Post subject: Re: Appeal and children
PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:50 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:35 pm
Posts: 290
Location: kent
Wishing you all the best for the appeal Bell. You really can't do much better than this site for any help/info that you need.


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