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 Post subject: LINCS APPEALS
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2007 11:03 am 
WRITING THIS WITH SUCH A HEAVY HEART. WE WERE TOLD OUR APPEAL FOR BOURNE GRAMMAR HAS FAILED . WE WILL RECEIVE A LETTER NEXT WEEK OFFICIALLY NOTIFYING US OF THE RESULT.IT'S REALLY HARD TO WRITE THIS. WE ARE ALL ABSOLUTELY DESOLATE .I'VE SPOKEN TO TWO PARENTS WHO WERE ALSO UNSUCCESSFUL ...BOTH EMOTIONALLY DISTRAUGHT. I FEEL PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY DRAINED.
I REALLY FELT WE HAD A STRONG CASE AND ALL THE MODERATORS HERE SEEMED TO AGREE. BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY I JUST DON'T WHAT WAS EXPECTED OF US.I'VE HEARD THAT MAYBE 5 APPELLANTS HAVE WON THEIR CASES- CONGRATULATIONS TO THEM.BECAUSE WE ARE A STRONG CLOSE KNIT FAMILY WITH HUGE SUPPORT FOR THE SCHOOL (WE HAVE A DAUGHTER IN THE 6TH FORM) IT MAKES IT EVEN HARDER THAT WE HAVE TO LEAVE THE SCHOOL AND START AGAIN ELSEWHERE.
WE ARE TRULY FRIGHTENED FOR HER WELFARE IF SHE HAS TO GO TO LOCAL SEC MOD. EVEN THE COLLEGE PRINCIPAL ADVISED US AGAINST SENDING HER TO HIS SCHOOL.IN HIS WORDS IT'S JUST TOO TOUGH FOR HER.
SO OUR NEXT MOVE IS TO DOWNSIZE OUR HOUSE AND TIGHTEN ALL BELTS AND SEND HER TO AN INDEPENDENT SCHOOL.I KNOW SHE'S OUR CHILD BUT STATE EDUCATION WILL BE A BIGGER LOSER BY NOT HAVING HER TO EDUCATE.SOME POSTS HAVE SAID THAT THE SEC MOD IN QUESTION IS ONE TO WHICH THEY HAPPILY SEND THEIR CHILDREN.I WONDER IF THEY WOULD FEEL THE SAME IF THEY HAD BEEN PRIVY TO THE VISIT WHICH WE MADE? ANYWAY, THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT FROM CONTRIBUTORS OVER THE LAST FEW MONTHS.
I'LL SIGN OFF NOW AS THIS IS BECOMING UNBEARABLE

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR KIND WORDS.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2007 11:32 am 
sorry to hear your bad news, our daughter's appeal failed as well last month. It does become a bit more bearable, although it's hard to understand how the appeal panel comes to their decisions. In our area they seemed to go on mitergating circumstances and not academic abilitl. One of the successful children broke down in the SATs saying he couldn't cope with the pressure! So I know how frustrated you must feel. What is it about the sec modern school that is so bad?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2007 12:05 pm 
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Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2006 10:04 am
Posts: 144
Dear John,

I am so very very very sorry for you and your family and I fully understand all of what you expressed. We have a son at the top end of grammar and so we are very familiar with and very supportive of the school. Our son is high flyer at the school and no one dreamed for one second his younger brother wouldn't get through.

As a parent, if you have seen the life of the school close up, (via the older child) you know instinctively whether your other children would thrive there. Like you, we had no doubts that our son would not only fit - and fit very well - but that he would really run with the opportunity given to him. He was so looking forward to everything the school can offer. To be honest the school is not the most well equipped, it is not the one with state of the art equiptment, it is however, the one where the whole ethos and enviroment is deeply academic and a fantastic place for kids who just want to learn and aren't too bothered about having the latest interactive white boards or whatever else other schools have.

I can imagine how you feel. We have had to seriously consider homeschooling which, although we would survive, would be a tragedy as our son has tons to give and is a great, polite, friendly socialable child. (In my humble opionion :wink: )

I do hope you make the right decision for your daughter. I wanted to send you a personal message John, but you aren't registered hence this public message, but I did want you to know that both my husband and I read your message and were so very sorry for you and your family.

In our area there is no 12plus or anything like that - but in areas where they do have it some people have chosen to send their children to a private school for a year and then have another go at 12+. From your very sad message I assume this is not a possibility for you?

I do hope there will be a happy solution to your dilemma John - you are a close knit family you say, and your daughter sounds like a great kid, pull together and stay strong. What has happened does not change who your daughter is - she is still the wonderful bright child she was before 11+ - remember that. Yes wonderful opportunites have been denied her, and that is tragic... and hurtful ...and devestating... and just leaves the most horrible feeling of injustice; but pull your family around you John, rise to this challenge and fight back with whatever resources you have - and I am not talking about financial resources.

I really feel for you all.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2007 12:23 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2007 12:18 am
Posts: 4083
Dear john m,

Although it may seem like your purgatory has become H**L, keep faith that things will work out in the end.

Bo Peep has written you such a wonderful message of support and I can only echo what she expressed.

It is so raw at this moment as you have jumped through all the hoops and yet feel the reward is not there.

Please know that I am thinking of you and your family.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2007 12:54 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2007 9:29 pm
Posts: 2049
Location: Wirral
John,

I’m so sorry to hear your news, although we got the news we wanted I know it could so easily have been the same disappointment you are now suffering.
I can remember the absolute utter disbelief and upset on March 2nd and I would never wish that to happen to anyone a 2nd time.

My thoughts, love and prayers are going out to you and your family as you come to terms with this devastating news. Your child is extremely lucky to have such wonderful and supportive parents like you are and I’m sure that that will stand them in good stead for the future.

Take time to think about what other options you have and give yourselves time to recover and start to feel strong again.

I for one feel the appeal system is like a lottery, what might be good enough for one panel in one county would not be good enough for another somewhere else.

Please remember in the coming months you as parents did everything you possibly could, nobody could ever ask anymore of you including yourselves.
We will be here if you want to sound off or explore other options 12+ maybe?

Stay strong as a family and know I’m sending you my sincere apologies and warmest thoughts..

Remember its there loss not yours, your child will do well no matter where you put her, as she has you as her wonderful role model..

Take care for now..

AM


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2007 2:11 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 22, 2007 1:22 pm
Posts: 36
Location: Lincolnshire
Very, very sorry to hear your news John. like myself you've had a very long wait to reach this day and i can well understand your feelings of deflation. i felt like a balloon that had been pricked and physically couldn't move for some time - it is totally devastating. as previously mentioned it is a bit of a lottery and i certainly felt at my son's appeal that it was mitigating circumstances they concentrated on, not academic ability. like you too we are sending our son to an independent school, i think it's in the same town as your daughter's and the reality of it is still sinking in. The only way I'm getting through it just now is to live more in the present, really geeing up the school my son is now going to and to try not to think of all the money we'll end up spending! i hope you felt the panel were fair or else do contact the ombudsman. I've gone to him, not with a view of a reappeal, i really feel the need to move on, but mainly because of some stupid questions we were asked and also because we felt they didn't ask us enough relevant questions. at the time i was so grateful that they were being friendly and non-threatening and thought that was enough! I was happy to be led by them instead of taking more control of the situation. thinking of you.

_________________
Louise


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2007 3:13 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 7:10 pm
Posts: 8199
Location: Buckinghamshire
John

I am so sorry to hear your news. I know how you feel at the moment - I have been in that self-same very dark place. The anxiety of an appeal is hard enough to take, without the result being negative.

I do hope that you find a happy solution for your daughter.

Thinking of you and your daughter.

Sally-Anne


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2007 3:19 pm 
thank you all for your kindness.it's so uplifting to think that there are people who understand our situation.
anna asked about the sec mod.
well anna, i will be brief although i could write a book.the school environs are dirty, litter strewn and in some cases poor repair. the y7 playground is a disgrace and most corridor carpets are hidden beneath discarded chewing gum. the place is crammed with 40plus cctv cameras which the principal stated are needed in order for staff to get to trouble spots quickly.the school is well led and has dedicated staff but those staff are having to deal with many young people who don't actually want to be there.the sub-cultures operating within the place are extremely robust and embedded and i meet some people whose children suffer because of it.
the really galling thing is that i spoke to someone a while back whose two sons both passed for the grammar but turned down their places. dad is now faced with almost weekly issues regarding the welfare and well being of his boys. he is now bemoaning the fact that he didn't do more to encourage them to go the grammar when they had the chance.how unfair is it when kids are turning down places that ours would give anything to have. it just makes today ever more poignant.some folk just do not know what opportunities they are passing up .......until( for some ) it's too late.


john m.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2007 5:58 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2006 9:10 pm
Posts: 1068
Location: Lincolnshire
Dear John,

I am so sorry. It is such a painful time. I understand too that 5 people got through and that they were apparently all children who had reached the qualifying standard in the tests. It seems, therefore, that in these particular appeals mitigating factors were outweighed by proven academic ability.

I wonder whether you were at the Monday evening part of the appeal? I understood the LA representative to say that the non-statutory appeals by head teachers of junior schools had not been granted because the governing body felt no need to consider them as they were so inundated with successful candidates. Was this your understanding of what was said? If so it would seem that the non-statutory review process is being applied ad hoc and not in any proper and systematic way.

I wish your daughter and your whole family all the best for the future.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2007 8:40 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:21 pm
Posts: 11931
John M,

Can only echo the above posts - I have been the the same place as you are now - keep positive there is a silver lining somewhere -


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