11 Plus Exams Forum

I need to ask this as has been weighing a little on my mind.
Feeling so passionate that my DD deserves her place for all the reasons I give in my evidence at appeal, I feel that I may not be able to hold back a tear or two.

Although I shall do my best not to let the emotions take over, in my closing/summing up I may just teeter on the edge of crying. Will I be looked at like an over emotional, desperate woman.

Do parents cry at appeals, any positives/negatives.

Plenty do and I doubt it adds or detracts from the case one bit.

Do parents cry at appeals,

Yes, not infrequently. Panels are used to this, and tend to handle the situation well.

any positives/negatives.

If it's an 'act', it has to be said that panels are normally quite adept at distinguishing between what is and isn't genuine!

If it's genuine (as it usually is), panels will be sympathetic - but decisions have to be taken on the merits of the case.

anotherdad wrote:Plenty do and I doubt it adds or detracts from the case one bit.

Thanks anotherdad. I really hope so, I know is early days but have begun putting a little draft together of some things I may say, and always find I get a little 'emotional' at certain points. I can only be me, hopefully it is not me being judged. I just hope wouldn't go against her for any reason.

Etienne wrote:

Do parents cry at appeals,

Yes, not infrequently. Panels are used to this, and tend to handle the situation well.

any positives/negatives.

If it's an 'act', it has to be said that panels are normally quite adept at distinguishing between what is and isn't genuine!

If it's genuine (as it usually is), panels will be sympathetic - but decisions have to be taken on the merits of the case.

Thanks Etienne, I don't know how crying at a time like this could be 'faked' as I am a wear heart on sleeve kind of person, but reassuring panels are understanding that parents do get emotional at appeals.

countrymum wrote:Thanks Etienne, I don't know how crying at a time like this could be 'faked'

It happens - all sorts of theatrical antics have been known ...

I had a very difficult appeal 2 years ago for my DS, I knew I could get very emotional but had a lot of complicated evidence to present. I didn't want the panel to be distracted by an emotional outburst so when I practiced I focused on putting my evidence across in a calm factual manner (almost taking the fact that I was talking about my DS out of the equation). During the appeal I managed to keep my emotionals in control until the summing up and then I started to get a bit emotional but I very calmly asked the panel if I could take a minute or two to compose myself. I took a couple of deep breaths, re- focused and continued. The panel were fine and I won the appeal.

Sally-Anne wrote:

countrymum wrote:Thanks Etienne, I don't know how crying at a time like this could be 'faked'

It happens - all sorts of theatrical antics have been known ...

Shocking!

I am a wear heart on sleeve kind of person

I'm sure you are
- it doesn't mean that everyone is genuine.
As S-A indicates, there tend to be a few appellants who think they can cheat the system.

An excellent post from MG above.

Morning Glory wrote:I had a very difficult appeal 2 years ago for my DS, I knew I could get very emotional but had a lot of complicated evidence to present. I didn't want the panel to be distracted by an emotional outburst so when I practiced I focused on putting my evidence across in a calm factual manner (almost taking the fact that I was talking about my DS out of the equation). During the appeal I managed to keep my emotionals in control until the summing up and then I started to get a bit emotional but I very calmly asked the panel if I could take a minute or two to compose myself. I took a couple of deep breaths, re- focused and continued. The panel were fine and I won the appeal.

Thank you for sharing. I am quite comfortable and used to speaking in front of people, and can do my best to use my skills learnt to like you did, talk slowly, calmly, with control. But I shall have to work very hard to almost distance myself from the fact I am talking about my own DD. I have had to do some very emotional speeches/readings in the past where the audience were sobbing but I managed to hold it together. Just. Maybe I can do it! I think practice is the thing, but shall be taking the tissues just in case

I am so glad you won!