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PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 5:07 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 4:19 pm
Posts: 14
:(
Dear all
I have a query and concern regarding an appeal that I have made in Birmingham.
I have twin boys who sat the 11plus exam and one has been offered a place at handsworth (second choice) and on waiting list for Bishop Vesey.
The second did not do at all as well as expected, we later found out that he had been impacted by organisation issues and disagreements between the venue staff and parents arguing on the day of the exam. The scene caused a lot of distress on many children. We did have the impact lasting way beyond the exam day.

However my issue is that, twin 1 maybe offered a place at Bishop Vesey soon, this is good as it is close to where we live. However there maybe a possibility that twin 2 gets a place in handsworh through appeal.

I do not want to split the two up, but there is also a possibility that twin 2 may not get a place at handsworth and will have to end up going to a local comp.


Also if I accept Bishop Vesey for Twin 1, then in September twin 2 gets a place in Handsworth would I be able to send both to handsworth?

This is all really confusing and causing a lot of stress for everyone involved.

Any suggestions would be great.
background information has been sent to appealsbox


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 6:41 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2012 11:41 am
Posts: 4587
Location: Essex
Shabbo_uk wrote:
:(
Dear all
I have a query and concern regarding an appeal that I have made in Birmingham.
I have twin boys who sat the 11plus exam and one has been offered a place at handsworth (second choice) and on waiting list for Bishop Vesey.
The second did not do at all as well as expected, we later found out that he had been impacted by organisation issues and disagreements between the venue staff and parents arguing on the day of the exam. The scene caused a lot of distress on many children. We did have the impact lasting way beyond the exam day.

However my issue is that, twin 1 maybe offered a place at Bishop Vesey soon, this is good as it is close to where we live. However there maybe a possibility that twin 2 gets a place in handsworh through appeal.

I do not want to split the two up, but there is also a possibility that twin 2 may not get a place at handsworth and will have to end up going to a local comp.


Also if I accept Bishop Vesey for Twin 1, then in September twin 2 gets a place in Handsworth would I be able to send both to handsworth?

This is all really confusing and causing a lot of stress for everyone involved.

Any suggestions would be great.


If you accept a place at Bishop Vesey - assuming he is offered it - then 'Twin 1's' place at the school he was originally allocated is reallocated to a boy on that school's waiting list; it is not your son's to 'reclaim'. You could make a new application for a place at Handsworth, I suppose, if your other DS gets in.

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Last edited by ToadMum on Mon Mar 07, 2016 7:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 6:54 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 6:44 am
Posts: 488
What do the boys think?
What school would Twin 1 prefer? If he would prefer Vesey I would be inclined to go with that knowing they may end up at different schools. If he doesn't go there, would there be resentment later, especially if Twin 2 goes to comp anyway?
If Twin 2 gets Handsworth would it be worth trying to transfer later if place becomes available at Vesey in Year 8?
Would different schools be the end of the world? It would give them a chance to make different friends and be seen as individuals.
Really difficult decision and I wish you all the best.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 7:20 pm 
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Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 4:19 pm
Posts: 14
the first thing is, they are both sad they they will be split. they are both different people and already have different friends, however just knowing that the other is there for support and morale is good for them. they compete with each other, which is a good thing.

but they are both concerned what will come to be.

the other thing is, i have taken a year out from work to do the school runs, as neither school is local, this would make it very difficult for me to manage the pick-ups and drop offs.

just so much running through my head.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 7:36 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2013 7:30 am
Posts: 2248
My twins go to different schools which are an hour apartment! We manage. It's not easy, but each in a school where they are never compared and are treated as individuals, not one of a twin. However El, meaning, they will always becopared, even if not obviously, people cannot help it. I think it would be good for them to be separated. Yes, it's harder logistically but twins are particularly vulnerable to harmful comparisons (oh, you're the funny one, you're the quiet one) and also harmful competition whcih can be problematic once puberty kicks in, really, don't under estimate it. Esp with two boys, oh man, wait til they are both wanting to be leaders of the pack. Mine adore each other but battles, though not frequent, are fierce, and driven by competition. Different schools has been really good for them.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 7:38 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2015 2:16 pm
Posts: 87
As a twin mum in the middle of an appeal nightmare too, I totally sympathise with your position. I totally understand the boys sadness. My girls are devastated by our situation. I have no real advice to offer you I'm afraid other than I understand the distress that a forced separation will bring. Being a parent to twins for 11 years has had it's tough times. This is the hardest thing we have ever faced.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 7:48 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 6:44 am
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I think it is harder with same s.x twins. If they were boy/girl they would be going to different schools anyway. DD is in school with girls whose boy twin is elsewhere and my best friends twin brother went to the local comp when she went to GS. DD says there are twin girls at her school who came in year 9. Originally one got a place and one didn't so they went elsewhere until 2 places opened up. It is such an individual decision.
On a practical point, you said Vesey is close to where you live? Would it be possible for twin 1 to do that commute while you take twin 2 if that journey more difficult?


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 9:12 pm 
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Mine are same sex twins, I think that means they are extremely close but in my opinion that is all the more reason to separate them. This makes their time together more appreciated, means you can relate to different things they are doing, and see them flourish without comparison.
As you say it's an individual choice, but it's been a great choice for us. Logistically not great, but from every other aspect, and as I've already mentioned, wait for puberty to kick in before you dismiss the competitiveness of male twins (as all I know) as harmless when experienced all day.


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