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 Post subject: Making new friends
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 7:48 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:57 pm
Posts: 3
DS is crying tonight about moving schools and making new friends :-( I went to inde school on scholarship and didn't know anyone. I don't remember it being a problem and in fact apart from having to catch 4 buses a day, I loved the school. How do I reassure ds that he will be ok. By the way although KES is is in catchment,we live outside warwickshire Nd doubt anyone else will be going there....ds is really clever (and well within score needed)

Any advice welcome


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 Post subject: Re: Making new friends
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 8:07 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2009 7:23 pm
Posts: 352
My son got in a real state about going to KES on his own, in fact he says now it ruined his year 6 summer term as he was so anxious about it. But lots of boys are in the same boat at KES and if he is reasonably confident he will be fine. I know some have struggled to settle but they tend to be the quieter ones. My daughter went to the high school and the transition was so much easier I think as she went with her friends.


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 Post subject: Re: Making new friends
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 8:10 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:57 pm
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Thanks. He is very confident - part of the reason we put him in for the 11+ to show him there are plenty of kids as / more intelligent....but his current friends are turning against him....I think I have reassured himtonight but march (results) and sept (new term) are so far off....


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 Post subject: Re: Making new friends
PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 8:15 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2009 7:23 pm
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the year my son went the children came from 60 different schools to put it in perspective... I would maybe try to meet up with some people from here so he has some familiar faces. Does he know any older boys there?


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 Post subject: Re: Making new friends
PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 10:24 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2012 11:14 am
Posts: 329
As I understand it the Birmingham KE GS deliberately split up children from the same primary as far as possible so that no-one is with existing friends and everyone is in the same boat. Not sure if the same happens elsewhere - DS1 thinks is is an awful idea but I can see the sense in it. At his primary (3 form entry) they shuffle the classess when they go into year 5 which causes great upset when they find out at the end of year 4 but I think it is good prep for the transition to year 7.


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 Post subject: Re: Making new friends
PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 10:29 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2012 11:14 am
Posts: 329
Also my parents sent me to a better high school in a neighbouring area where I knew four others (but wasn't friendly with them). I remember sobbing when I left all my friends at middle school but made friends quickly once I started. I kept in touch with some old friends through Guides which was nice but sadly quickly lost contact with most. It was a pain living further out than everyone else though and in a village with only a few buses a day - I learned to drive very quickly!


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 Post subject: Re: Making new friends
PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 6:22 pm 
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Joined: Sun Oct 28, 2012 7:15 pm
Posts: 81
My DS was the only one to go to aslawn from his school and to start with there was a lot of "why arn't you coming to our school, your schools rubbish etc etc" but it was where he wanted to go and even though they were friends, I think he was actually excited about having a fresh start. I worried dreadfully as he was always one of the quieter ones and hadn.t had that many close friends, but I have been absolutely amazed at the transformation in him at high school. For the first 2 weeks he came back everyday talking about someone he,d met or a new friend. One thing I would recommend is if you get the opportunity to do any holiday clubs for a couple of days even if you don,t need them as my DS met several people he,d met on holiday schemes e.g at rugby school. The thing that primary kids don,to realise intil they get to high, is that there is very little time for socialising and the most importantbthingbis interesting lessons and teachers. The boys then naturally make friends within the lessons as they have partners for science, drama erc etc. I can,t believe I fretted so much, he has more friends now than he ever did at primary.


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 Post subject: Re: Making new friends
PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 10:03 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:47 pm
Posts: 2151
Location: Warwickshire
Hi Janeymorris

My dd at Ashlawn made one of her three closest friends there on induction day! They were in the same form. Then two other girls just appeared. Unlike your ds, she went with most of her year I think, but she had never had close friends at junior school. Now she tends to mention these three girls, and see them, but she seems to have plenty of friends. It happened once she got there, we didn't do anything before. It's a big thing, friends.


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