do parents come from comps, gs or independant

[Janeymorris]

I think it would be quite interesting to know whether parents who strive to get their child to a gs, whether they choose to home teach or tutor and their opinions on different schools and attitudes reflect their own education ie were they happy at a comp but got poor results and wish child to do better or only went to independant schools and can't imagine a non gs or independant. it may help some parents with choice of school as I suspect many parents are often choosing a school on the grounds of where they would feel happy at ( or do you and partners disagree on school choice). Just wondering if anyone agrees with that and what type of school we all went to.

[Reading Mum]

Mum went to Hen Barn on scholarship, I went to girls grammar, DD will be going to a girls school - hopefully it will be a GS

[ginx]

Interesting question. I failed the 11 plus in Essex having had an automatic re sit, went to a comp, got bullied by a teacher, so my parents moved me to a small girls only private school. Then we moved to Suffolk and I was a day pupil at a private school. I was very happy as I was one of the brightest students, not difficult in a small school. I got 8 o levels, not many by today 's standard, only 2 a levels but went on to get a degree. My husband was state educated, at a comp then sixth form college. Seven o levels and 3 a grade a levels in science. Subjects. We are both pro gs but can see many flaws in the system. Our two eldest children are at a comp doing well.

We didn't think about our own education, just want the best for our two. I was worried my 2 dc would be happy in a big comp because I wasn't, but they are fine.

We had no coaching, neither did my children. Perhaps we're not good examples though as I only did secretarial work.

[Okanagan]

My primary wanted me to take the 11+ a year early (back in the mid 70's). My parents said no, and the following year they scrapped grammar schools in the area we lived in so I never did get to take it! Instead I got the default option of an ex scondary-modern in it's 1st year of being a comp, when the ideology of comprehensive was being interpreted as "thou shalt not stream or differentiate", so they had totally mixed ability classes for everything! And compulsory home economics, needlework and typewriting for the girls, compulsory technical drawing, woodwork and metalwork for the boys. I made myself very unpopular by wanting to do a "boys' subject" (computer studies, as it was then) when it came to options time! And you probably wouldn't get that many comps now which had never sent anyone to university and didn't have a clue where to start when confornted by someone with that ambition - careers advice was just a one size fits all recommendation of "secretarial course" if you were a girl. I'm sure most comps now do make a better job of catering for different children's needs, but that bit of history probably explains a lot about my attitude to at least giving ds the chance!

[ginx]

Well, I did a secretarial course but never enjoyed being a secretary! I kept thinking; I don't like being a secretary because of the people or company so I changed jobs and areas many times until at age 24 I did a degree. I only changed to admin work but more responsibility than I had been given before. I was pa to md of a large company, my own office, I hated it. People just came to me to moan!

My parents pushed me into leaving school or doing a secretarial course. That is one thing I will never do to my children. My parents did their best, I have four very successful brothers, who had lots of chances because they were boys! My dc will have equal chances.


Times change.

[suzysu]

I went to a lovely primary school and did well, then on to a huge and awful comp, where I lost my way, due to poor teaching and discipline. Biggest regret is not going to university, which I know I could have done with the right guidance. DH on the other hand went to independent schools (not an option for our dc) and university. Desperately hoping for GS place for dd this year - it feels like the right thing.

[ginx]

Suzysu, just like you, I went to a lovely, small primary (everybody knew everybody!). The comp was a terrible shock. It was huge, I was streamed into B out of about 7 classes, I got lost in the school. I started crying going to school, and clinging on to lamp posts, refusing to let go, because I hated it. I was very miserable.

A teacher kept picking on me and refused to speak to my parents at all. My grandmother eventually paid for me to go to a private school and I was absolutely fine.

Private school not an option for our dc either. I am so glad my dc cope in their comp, it was a huge worry for me - the alternative was a smaller church school; but it has poor GCSE results and it wasn't for us. At the comp, the teachers were well dressed, well spoken, some were young and my dc liked that, and they are ambitious for their children - they push them but if they can't cope, they drop a group.

Personally, I found the church school quite different; the teachers were more laid back and relaxed - don't worry if your child can't cope, we DON'T push them, just let them work at their own pace. I thought of my lazy ds and decided straight away it would be no good for him. Horses for courses.

However, I did remember my own experience at comp. - in the end my dh and ds decided they preferred the comp and the size didn't bother them at all.

I'm sure we made the right decision. But their education has been very different to mine. That may be a good thing.

[penguin]

I went to an all girls high school and absolutely loved it and am very much in touch with my friends many many years later. I have since heard that some people didn't like going to an all girls schools because of the perception of the 'in-crowd' etc. I think children tend to gravitate towards like-minded people. I remember having lots of friends at schools and within the fom groups, there were several groupings of friends who did different things with their time (different clubs etc.) I don't think my class had an 'in-crowd'. some of us were weird in similar ways.

I think my area was a non-grammar one but I can't be sure. Certainly, no-one at my middle school (Junior school) sat the 11+ (and I was one of the top three students so I would have been put forward if we did)
I think I've done quite well academically as this was an expectation of my parents (no stick or carrot - just expected)
I did A-levels in Maths, Physics and Economics at school then studied Engineering at university and then worked in a high responsibilty position in a small company (low pay and no progression because jobs only came up if people left their's)

I worked there for a year and happily they relocated my function to another country meaning that I could leave honourably (I only stayed that long because they'd sent me to the US for 3 weeks training)

ANYWAY

I'd missed the round of graduate vacancy applications the year that I graduated - due to various reasons.
with a MEng and over a year's work experience I applied to several companies for a position on their graduate training scheme.
The first time I've ever come across NVR and VR questions was at such recruitment selection stages and because I passed all of the ones I went for, I realised that I was naturally good at them.

Much later, when I came to know more about the 11+ I did lament the fact that I didn't have the opportunity to sit the test because I really think I would've done well.

Although I have been quite successful academically and employment-wise, much of it seems to have been pot luck and my own attitude. by this I mean being in the right place at the right time and recognising an opportunity and creating them for myself.

I do wonder how my own parents' approach to studying has encouraged me - they didn't actively help with anything but expected me to listen to my teachers and do well - and I did try to adopt this with my 2 DDs hoping that it would spark natural drive and ambition in them.

It doesn't work with DD1 - everyone's different. she's a bit of a dreamer. forgets all her belongings in various places but still manages to do well at school. She could be better with more focus.

Just when I thought I'd failed - DD2 - works out mental maths questions creatively from what she knows and doesn't want to drop a music club in favour of a more popular one because she doesn't want to let them down yayyyy!!!

actually DD1 told me last night that she'd volunteered to be form council rep but the class thought it was a popularity contest and she got less votes than the person who won but was told she could help with those duties as well. (yayyyy) when I asked her why she hadn't told me any of this - she thought I'd be cross that she hadn't won I told her i was delighted that she'd volunteered and that's what makes me really happy that she showed the interest and had the confidence to volunteer. big YAYYYY!!

I think that's really what I'm after - for them to have the tools for success

[Bloomers151]

This is actually a subject I've been pondering about quite a bit recently.

Both my DH & I went to comprehensives in different cities (he Manchester, me London) that had previously been Grammar schools. Mine was a combination of two, one boys & one girls, and had brought a selection of teachers with them into the new comp, including the Head who came from the boys school. Public school was never an option for either of us, but we had both gone to good primaries.

I had a bit of a tough time because my parents split up shortly after I started and my Mum was busy trying to survive in the years that followed (she also had to look after her Mum who had dementia) so I didn't get a lot of support either from my parents or the school. I survived rather than excelled at school, but once I had left home and went to university (in my 20's) I found out how to study, got a good degree and a pretty reasonable job in IT until I was made redundant.

I am definitely making up for that time with my both my DSs, as they get whatever support they need from the both of us and are at a school that also looks after their emotional needs. The school affected me by wanting to pick the best bits that were left out of it and finding similar schools for my boys. I always loved the music department at my school but never got to learn an instrument whilst I was there; the art department, D&T and science labs were brilliant (mixed bunch of teachers though), and they had computers (it was the early '80's!!), but the Home Economics teachers were really weird as they were all like elderly matrons who never ate anything! The teachers were generally a mixed bunch. The best thing I did there was learn to type, which has held me in good stead in temp jobs as a secretary and as a computer programmer!!

My eldest DS loves playing the cornet and will hopefully thrive in the music department of KES if he gets a place in March. He also wants to study Classics, which they only did at one other state school we looked at in the area (as an after school club). The way they learn appears to have the element of fun that was missing from my schooling, and we will always support the both of them no matter how supportive the school is.

[serendippyty]

I went to an independent school, my husband to a state. I hated my independent school even though I did quite well and got good results. It is well thought of as a good school in this area but I think the teaching was incredibly uninspiring and lacking in imagination The subject choice was poor and pupils did well because they came from good backgrounds with motivated parents and families.

My eldest is a state comp, my second at a grammar. I would never tutor for the grammars as I think that although I did well at school, I lacked self belief. There are so many very able pupils in these types of schools that you really need to be able to hold your own in an intellectual capacity. I would have been far more confident in myself had I been one of the more able in the state system rather than middling in the private system. I wanted my children to go to grammars ONLY if they were bright enough and wanted to go themselves.

The grammar and independent schools do still often offer much less choice than the state but have better careers advice I think. Results between state and grammar cannot be compared as schools that cream off the able pupils will of course do better. The state school that offers a good choice and is required to take all pupils with diverse backgrounds, probably generally offers better teaching as they manage to support such a diverse range in class.

I think in hindsight I was lucky to go to the school I went to but would I have achieved the same results in the state system? Yes I think so. I wish I had had a broader mix of people around me when learning too. I think grammars are still not very diverse.