11+ review

[Parmjit123]

Yes Fatnorville, but I can't reduce my stress. Everyday during the summer, he has been doing homework that his tutor has set him. It hurts me how I have to watch him do this homework as he finds it too hard. I also try to help him but he doesn't understand. My younger DS is nothing like my older DS who always tries hard and doesn't give up. My younger DS gives up immediately if he doesn't understand something and just throws his books. At school or with his tutor he is very concentrated but at home, he isn't. He just worries me. He is beginning to feel the stress now, however I'm trying to comfort him but nothing is working. I'm feeling the stress too. He is a 5C in Maths at school however he struggles to do basic area and perimeter and he doesn't understand fractions, decimals and percentages at all which is key for the 11+. Oh well let's see what happens...

[Parmjit123]

Also does Ashlawn Selective only offer 30 places? I thought that it was more this year.

[Fatnorville]

I am with SB3 on this. Your DS will most probably get to Ashlawn through one route or another. So that isn't the issue, so stop worrying about your DS. Control the things you can control.

I will not pretend to understand your circumstances, and I will not patronise you by suggesting ways to reduce cost / increase income, but the issue around the cost of travel is the thing which needs your focus.

[Parmjit123]

Ok thanks Fatnorville. So I'll just leave it to my DS then. If he passes great! If he doesn't, he'll still go to a good school. However the ideal situation would be him passing.

[Bob1892]

Hi Parmjit
I've already tried to advise you accordingly recently hoping that it will alleviate your stress somewhat.
I somewhow doubt this is working in your case at the moment IMHO.
You really need to relax, as the stress that you have been obviously creating in your environment has, I'm sure, been transferred to those around you.
As I previously mentioned to you, I would advise to work steadily & without undue pressure towards the test date which I know is only 5-6 weeks away.
This test is not the end of the world - to be honest, at this late stage of the game , if anyones child is not quite upto speed for a CEM test then it really would be diffilcult to put that right right now.
Wishing you & your dc the very best,
Bob

[sherlock1]

I would second the calls for de-stressing. I had outlined a plan for my DS over the holidays to do 11+ work and because of his approach to doing this in the holidays I have completely backed off, and agreed 5 weeks of no work whatsoever.

He is a very happy and relaxed boy now - no battles for us and enjoying chilling out. His tutor agreed we were putting his result in jeopardy by trying to do a lot of work - if it's gone in it's gone in and he'll be able to pull it out in the exam. If it hasn't gone in by now it probably wont. I want a refreshed, focused boy going in to that test, not one who is frazzled and aware of all the pressure on him.

He will be doing a few refresher worksheets in the two weeks leading up to it, but won't be learning anything new.

[wildwest]

Oh!Dear, honestly, it is such a difficult time for those young ones... More so due to parental and peer pressure ( of course, I am by no means, generalizing here!!)

Someone here made the point about ' the trauma' after the results. I think that I may have underestimated this. I always sought solace in the idea that no matter what the results are, she would be our little princess but then the impact of not getting a seat in her school of choice may mean something very different to her, whether that 'shows' at the time or remains 'internal'

[southbucks3]

Always big up the alternative wild west, our little man was upset not to be going to be with his mates, he wasn't ever distraught though, just fed up and he lost confidence. We then did a pr job so well that he didn't want to go to gs after we won his appeal.
Really a child is so impressionable at ten you can influence them almost subliminally, whichever way.
I get upset when people talk of showing their children round the worst comprehrnsive in the area, no wonder these poor kids feel stressed if the worst points of the worst alternative for them have been over emphasised.
Also son3 wants to go to the very local upper, so we could never ever put it down to his bruvs or him, no matter what we think of some of its faults, we just big up the good points.

[Yamin151]

Please don't talk of passing or failing. That simply isn't the case, certainly in warks, and everytime we use the words we put another nail in the coffin of childrens confidence, assuming you are using those words in front of him of course. But even on this site, I struggle with reading those words because it makes me feel that those parents are seeing it as a pass or fail, which can transfer to the child, even though it has been clearly stated that it is an automatic qualifying score that can change according to the cohort. We always talked about qualifying for the school, inferring that even if scores had not been qualifying, it does not quantify a fail. Others may flame me for this just being semantic nonsense, but I feel it needs to be said.

[onebigdilemma]

If your son has a tutor for 11 plus could this money not be used for transport when he no longer needs the tutor?