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 Post subject: Advice Needed.
PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2009 9:56 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2007 4:01 pm
Posts: 82
Location: Poole
DD2 is a outwardly bright bubbly girl. As her Mum I know her as a child who likes rules and order and likes obeying such rules.
Twice this academic year member of the Senior Management team at her school has told her off when in fact she had done nothing wrong.
On the first occasion she was told off for entering the year 5 door - she is in Yr 5. Today she was told that the teacher was sure that black socks were not part of the dress code for the school- I've checked the school website and there it is - "socks must be black white or grey"
What should I do? It feels like this woman is picking on my DD. Should I complain? Or will that only make DD more anxious?


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PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2009 10:04 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:47 am
Posts: 3310
Location: Warwickshire.
Maybe deal with it by speaking in private to this individual; just asking her to clarify some points. Try to do it without your daughter's knowledge and try to keep your cool - just asked as a 'matter of interest' to start off with!


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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 9:32 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:28 pm
Posts: 2363
Agree its worth a word with teacher as your daughter still only year 5 but assuming the tellling offs are low key it might also be worth chatting to your daughter about how to deal with these things as she will probably experience it more often at senior school. Teachers do make mistakes and children do get told off when they are not at fault but if its a minor thing then sometimes the best solution is just to forget it (knowing for herself she hasn't done anything wrong!)
Clearly if a particular member of staff appears to be picking on a young child this needs addressing - as with all these issues its a question of balance!
Hope you can get it sorted out without further upset for you or your daughter.


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PostPosted: Wed May 06, 2009 9:54 am 
Hi Paula,

Sorry you're feeling stressed about this. DS2 is often coming home saying his teacher said this and that when I ask him if she is this way with all of the other children he says no. After much investigation it is clear to me that my bubbly outgoing boy is hyper sensitive but only sees things that affect him and not others. He is a rule follower and tends to blow things all out of proportion if he gets told off. We have now got to a scenario of "cry wolf" because of him over-estimating the situation! :(

What I'm trying to say is that it is unlikely that the teacher is picking on her - it is only two telling offs in an academic year and teachers do make mistakes so I'm sure its not personal. Teachers have to be so careful nowadays so to show favouratism or a negative attitude to some would be risky. By all means talk to this teacher but it may be better to give DD coping strategies and not feel quite so bad if she gets told off.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 08, 2009 10:20 am 
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Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2009 2:01 pm
Posts: 43
I also think that 2 'telling offs' so far this year don't yet indicate that this woman has a personal issue with your DD but would keep a close eye on it. Both my DS & DD also get upset if they are singled out for criticism but even if the teachers appear to have been unfair I just encourage them to politely state their case and then put it behind them.


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