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PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 12:17 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:09 pm
Posts: 96
Location: chorleywood
My DD has two days left of primary school and even now she is still forgetting thing to take in.

Today it was her reading diary and luckily I am not working today so could drop it in.

However come September when she is in secondary school and will be around 10 miles away from where I work this just wont work and to be honest I dont think sec schools take kindly to parents dropping things in that their children have forgotton.

Maybe my DD thinks in the back of her mind that mum will remember even if I dont!!

So any ideas on what I can do to help her in not forgetting stuff in September. Thought about a wipe board we can write stuff on that she can check daily but any other ideas would be great.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 12:47 pm 
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I too despaired that DS1 would ever get his act together for secondary school as I ended up taking things in at primary school at least 3 times a week. However two years on it is rare for him to forget anything – the reason – detentions! The school start this from day one with a zero tolerance for not having the right kit or books for any lesson. I think this has really helped DS1 who likes the world to have clear boundaries.

I also set up system of magazine files in his bedroom and stuck his timetable to the wall. He has one magazine file for each subject. Everything to do with that subject goes in its own magazine file. While he may have sometimes taken things he didn’t need he didn’t forget stuff. Rather than go through what he would need the next day with him, he just had to link his subject to the magazine file and take everything out of it and into his bag.

Gradually he has learned to be more selective of what he needs but this has come from him rather than me saying – do you need this, do you need that.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 12:50 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 9:37 pm
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raceytracey wrote:

Maybe my DD thinks in the back of her mind that mum will remember even if I dont!!



That's your answer, Raceytracey.
She has a backup planner, worrier, organiser,coach on the sideline bellowing and cheering for her.

When she realises that she is on her own, she will flap her wings.

Just watch the children at traffic lights - they are so busy chatting to each other and move only when Mum says, "Cross now!!"

If the secondary school does not have a planner/diary , get her a pretty or smart diary to write down project deadlines,PE kit to bring,what needs doing when...a checklist with timetable pinned up somewhere also helps.

She will get used to it and if she forgets, any school 'sanction' will help her to remember for the next time.

During the holidays, you can delegate more jobs for her to get used to thinking about what is required.

-Go pack your swimming stuff,including suncream, flip flops and change of clothes.
-setting the dinner table or clearing up at the finish
-sorting out the laundry for washing, putting away the washed things
-sort out different areas of the house together. It keeps everything more organised and helps her think through things more easily. Nothing worse than looking for some necessary item when you should have left for school 15 minutes ago.

If she knows where to get the ties,socks,jumpers, pen refills, A4 paper etc so you won't have to do the remembering for her.

Let her pack her own things, so she knows what to bring back home. That will keep lost items to a minimum in the new term. She will be on autopilot in no time.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 12:54 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jan 18, 2008 3:34 pm
Posts: 213
Location: Watford, Herts
We were thinking of having a checklist to run through each night before a school day.

This will include sorting out school uniform and packing pe kit, books, equipment and homework needed for the next day.

Initially I expect to have to go through this with my DS or maybe just let him sort it out himself and then have spot checks :D

This saves on the "I need eggs for food tech today" questions at 7:45am in the morning, at least if it is the night before I can quickly pop to the shop that night or v early in the morning.

We may do extra or less pocket money as an incentive to getting things sorted out on his own and in good time.

Perhaps having the timetable pinned onto the board would be useful, with maybe something indicating the current week for those schools with timetables spanning more than one week.

Alison


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 1:03 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:47 am
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Location: Warwickshire.
When Ed started his new school last year, we tried everything: nagging, cajoling, hinting, lists, folders blah blah blah.

In his first term, he received 4 impositions for forgetting things. He is quite a bit better after those punishments. Not perfect; he still needs to be reminded to do very basic things like hand washing! Ed is scatty, he won't change completely, but it is the punitive measures that have the biggest effect on him.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 1:05 pm 
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yes, we have the timetable in the porch. I have encouraged him to do everything the night before (we have to be out of the house by 7.15 so the morning is NOT the time to realise you need to find your rugby gum shield or swimming trunks). He is pretty sussed (it's the next one I'm worried about!)

Initially, I did go in a couple of times with forgotten homework and locker keys. Before there is an outcry, this was for my benefit.
a) he is generally very clued up but it is a massive shift from state y6 to secondary school, partic at a strict grammar and it was a bit of a learning curve all round.
b) forgotten things mean detentions. detentions mean him missing the school bus
c) missing the school bus means me having to drive in, with other child, in rush hour. It's one thing to nip in on empty roads on my own, taking an hour for a round trip, quite another at 5.30. And, no, public transport not a doable option, not when you live in a village. It would be over half a mile walk, and 3 buses.

After the first 2 times I said that that was it, he had to get organised and that if he didn't and if he got a detention as a result, then he had to work out how to get back on his own, that I wouldn't come and collect him (I'm sure I would) but the threat is enough. Detentions are handed out very readily and he's not had one all year. :lol:

I'm sure once your daughter is in the system she will go up a gear herself. She will not want to stand out in the wrong way, to get detentions for forgetting things. Organisation the night before is key.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:17 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:09 pm
Posts: 96
Location: chorleywood
Thanks everyone for your great ideas, I am certainly going to take them on board. My DD wont know whats hit her!! (figure of speech) :lol:

Like the magazine file system and getting her diary if the school isnt going to provide her with one but I think they best deterrent is going to be the detention. She will not like those at all!!


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 3:00 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:27 am
Posts: 645
Location: Buckinghamshire
I have gone for the "cruel to be kind" option these last few months with DS.

I have limited my checking up before school to "have you got everything" and left it at that. Yes, he has forgotten things, and yes, he has got into trouble or missed activities because of it (he was gutted that he could only referee a hockey match because he had forgotten his shin pads :( ). Hopefully experiencing the consequences of not being organized or thinking ahead will have more of an impact than my constant nagging or thinking for him - that's the theory anyway :wink: .

I do tend to make him get things together himself if we are going out - and I have had to be quite hard at times, for example, when he says he is thirsty - "where's your drink?" - "I left it on the stairs/table/in the car..." - "well, we'll be going back soon and you can have one then." Short term discomfort for long term gain.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 5:42 pm 
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Timetable on the wall and packing the night before are the secret ..


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 6:07 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:27 am
Posts: 2086
Location: Barnet, Herts
You have to let them learn the hard way.
Now all I say the night before is "have you packed your bag for the morning?" and then in the morning I say "Glasses? Phone?" and that's it.
I find out which days he will need games kit and make sure it's clean.
At first it was a nightmare but now after the first year we have it sussed (mostly) :roll:


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