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 Post subject: use of msn
PostPosted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 9:39 am 
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Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:06 pm
Posts: 19
All of a sudden my dd has become addicted to MSN ! Up to a short while ago she could take or leave it but recently she wants to be on there all the time.I was reluctant when she first talked about it but found she was the exception in her peer group rather than the rule in that she did not use it.After some thought I decided what could be the harm in it? She can only communicate with friends that she has details of so agreed to her using it.Now it seems to be a constant argument with her wanting to use it and me asking her to come off it!!! It may be just because she is on summer hols now and really just wants to stay in touch with school friends,which incidentally some of which are going off to different secondary schools in September so perhaps I should cut her some slack.Does anyone know if there is a way I can monitor what is being said ?There have been a couple of occasions when I suspect one of the contacts has been a little unkind.I don't wish to snoop on her and have discussed with her what would be acceptable behaviour on there but obviously I cannot control what is being said or put on there by others.Any comments or advice would be welcomed !


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 10:13 am 
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Joined: Thu Nov 22, 2007 10:30 am
Posts: 505
Location: Warwickshire
Our local education authority recommends an 'e-safety' package:

http://www.cybersentinel.co.uk

When my daughter got her PC we chose to install it. We haven't used it to spy on her (yet...!), but it does give her the option of saying "my parents can read what we're saying" to anyone who is writing anything inappropriate. We all find it gives her a 'get out' clause by blaming us!

Also, we get a code from the school so there's no licence fee.


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 Post subject: Re: use of msn
PostPosted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 11:54 am 
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2006 1:21 am
Posts: 2125
My eldest DD (nearly 16) is also using MSN a lot more at the moment. I think it's a very good way to keep in contact but as with all things can be overused. We live in a village location with no transport, which means that DD can't simply go out and see her friends. It helps her to keep in touch with people from school and term-time extra-curricular activities during the summer break, and that can only be a good thing, imo. As with all things, it's a question of finding the right balance. DD has found MSN (and Facebook) useful for arranging outings for herself and her friends, so the interaction is not all virtual!

There is a function whereby certain individuals can be "blocked", i.e. you appear to be offline and any messages they post can't get through. Of course this doesn't stop them sending e-mails but might help if your DD has a problem with unkind messages.

I have also joined it myself (at DD's suggestion!) Every now and then a message pops up from mummy asking who she is talking to and how she is. If you can't beat em...

On the plus side, my DD can touch-type at lightning speed now! :)

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 12:03 pm 
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Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 6:21 pm
Posts: 130
Location: bucks
Hi Pollyanna

My DD, due to go to big school in September has been pestering for MSN for the past few weeks ('Please, ALLl my friends have it!). We are so far resisting, so I am really keen to read the responses to your post.

Mummog x


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 12:10 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2006 1:21 am
Posts: 2125
As a PS to the above, we have set up MSN for younger DD about to start secondary school in September as a good means of keeping in touch with her old friends who are going to a different school and new friends who live miles away! As long as they are sensible, only use it for friends they know (and you can check on this) and understand the principles of online safety, I can't see a problem.

And, interestingly, we have found that not many of younger DD's friends are on MSN yet - they all have mobiles though...something she does not yet have but will do by September when she actually needs one. :)

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 12:55 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:20 pm
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I posted a thread about this many months/a year or so ago.

I had no idea what it did (apart from the fact it was a way of contacting others and lots of nasty rumours about bullying and viruses).

Like you we got the 'But I'm the ONLY one without it', being made to feel tremendously guilty and nasty in not letting dd join in with everyone else's conversations.

We looked into it (through my original thread and the internet itself) and allowed dd to join msn from her computer.

WE have had absolutely no problems with it, in fact when someone pops up who dd doesn't overly like she tells them I'm standing reading over her shoulder so to be careful what they say (when in fact I'm downstairs!!).

My dd is a very sensible girl and knows all the dangers. She knows not to link up/talk to anyone she doesn't personally know.

You have to educate your kids and then set them along the right path, in whatever they do.

I'm sur eyou'll get no problems either :)

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 1:33 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:16 pm
Posts: 2113
Yes you can monitor it.Right click top right corner little menu icon scroll to file, scroll down to message history and all convos will be there.Your child can disable that but my DD knows there will be trouble if she does! If you find this doesn't work I can talk you through enabling it again.


My Dd knows I check from time to time.There was some nastiness online last year and DD was very upset and so now I check it.
I do also limit time on there to two 90 min sessions a day on the computer(including MSN).
There are dangers :- People can randomly add themselves to a conversation through a mutual aquaintance.They can be deleted but a friend of a friend (male and 5 years older) tried to get my DD to meet up with him. Luckily she told me and anyway she can't go to town without arrangement but this is also why I check what has been going on very regularly.
You can block contacts too and they don't know they have been blocked.

That all sounds very negative.The vast majority of the time we have had no problems whatsoever and she enjoys chatting to friends, many of whom live some distance.She communicates about homework that way too.I am happy for her to have it with my oversight.


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 Post subject: use of msn
PostPosted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:19 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:12 pm
Posts: 1
By installing something like cybersentinel you can record boths side of all online chat or just take a capture when it recognises a bad word or phrase rather than copying everything. Most of these products can be tried before buying so might be good idea to see if good for you. Works well for my boy as I can see if any problems arise without having to go to his computer.


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 Post subject: use of msn
PostPosted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 1:03 pm 
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Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:06 pm
Posts: 19
Thanks everyone for your replies.All sounds ok although not many people have noted how long their dc spend on msn daily.Chelmsford Mum I have checked and there appears to be no history of convos,I don't think dd would have knowingly disabled it as she just is not that cunning or secretive.Can you please advise how I can set it up.Many thanks.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 1:33 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:16 pm
Posts: 2113
pollyanna,
Just looked at this but am in the middle of something.I will pm you when i have time , maybe tonight.I am sure it was never enabled rather than disabled, if you know what I mean. :?


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