11 Plus Exams Forum

I just wonder whether I am fussing over nothing...

Let me explain. My son has just started Fettes College in Edinburgh. His day is very long and he also attends school on Saturday, I cant help feeling guilty about his early starts etc. What travelling time is acceptable for a 12 year old?

He gets the 7.10am bus six days a week, he has a ten minute walk to the school from the bus stop. His lessons start at 8.10am, school finishes at 4.00pm mon to fri. The children are encouraged to do their prep at school which lasts an hour, so he gets home at around 6.20pm. On Saturdays he comes home around 2.15pm.

Some people probably think I should be greatful that he got an offer to attend this school etc, and yes I am , very, but just cant help feeling sorry for him. Anyone one else feel like this?

My son had a similar start & finish time with lengthy bus journey last year (minus the Saturday schooling.) He did not know one other person when he started at his new school. However, my biggest concern related to the length of his day. He did take a few weeks to adjust to the new routine but their ability to adapt is remarkable. The bus journey also helped in forming friendships which have survived the first year.

How ghastly - What exactly are you hoping to achieve?
All our children are going to be taking GCSEs after 5 years of secondary education and the standard is lamentably low
In addition they are likely to face social engineering when it comes to university entrance and to find that a public school background is a distinct disadvantage.
I would far rather have a decent family life and put school second than have my child attend school at weekends as well.
DD1 missed 2/3 of year 7, half of year 8 and we had a social worker for year 9 because we all knew school was a waste of her time but she still got the highest gcse score inthe school because the national curriculum reeks.
Do not place school above your family life.

Don't worry about it.
My DS is just about to go into Y8 and has a long day too. Bus at 07.30 and gets home at 18.30 Mon-Thurs and 5.30 on Fri, however these long days are because they abolished Saturday school 2 years ago.
At first he was exhausted but this was due to homework mainly. By half term it had all settled down and the long holidays make up for it.
Far from being at a disadvantage I think an independent background sets you up for life and it certainly does not affect our family life!
If being in a class of 16 is a bad thing , explain that to my son's friends who went to the local comp, are in classes of 32+, rarely get their homework marked and 2 have been mugged outside the school gates.
Chidren are very resilient and adjust to change quickly, so DON'T feel guilty!!

Kosar, do not feel guilty. Your son will have a wonderful time at school and come home to you to spend quality time with you - not 3 hours of homework and constant arguing. Most teenagers do not get out of bed until 12noon at the weekends so at least he is being constructive, even if he has no choice!

As for no family life that is ridiculous! My sons' have had a similar routine from Year 4 but they have had 10 weeks of summer holidays and 4 week Easter and Christmas breaks. If I add the days up they were off school for 25 weeks of the year last year so that is a substantial quality of life balance.

Kosar, you are giving your son the best education you can, and that is something to be rightfully proud of.

Yes, to us it seems a long day, but think back ahundred years ago, he'd have been down a mine or working in a factory.

What he has now, because you want the best for him, is a chance.

Don't listen to those who tell you you're wrong, you have plenty of quality time with him after school, most of the weekends and the long, long holiday breaks.

I bet when he's settled down into it he wouldn't have it any other way!!

Magwich - I do not feel that it is constructive or helpful to Kosar to condemn the situation as "ghastly". You are welcome to put an alternative opinion forward, but please do so in a way that does not immediately belittle the opinions or situations of others.

Kosar - I don't think that this is actually a very long school day! When I look back at my schooldays, I left home at 7am to catch a train for a 7 mile journey. School finished at 4pm and although there was no "prep" at school, I usually got home at around 5.30pm to face an hour or more of homework. There was no Saturday school, as it was a GS, but apart from that, there is no difference.

I loved the journey to school because it was very sociable - probably the best part of my school life. I walked to the station with a girl in the year above me, which made me feel terribly grown-up and smug.

I don't think that you need to feel guilty about it - just see how he gets on, and make sure that he gets to bed at a reasonable time.

Sally-Anne

kosar.irshad wrote:I just wonder whether I am fussing over nothing...

Kosar,

If you’d asked me, I’d say you’re fussing over nothing. But I do know exactly how you feel. I was in a similar situation when my only son (I have another DD) left home for boarding school and he wasn’t even coming home daily like your DS does.

And he was only 10 at that time – two years younger than your son!

Believe me, you’d feel even more guilty (maybe for the rest of your life) had you not allowed your DS to do what he’s supposed to do now.

Did you say Fettes College in Edinburgh? Just ask this person who graduated from there to become Prime Minister for 10 years from 1997~2007 whether he regretted it or not for having attended Fettes.

A message I posted at this forum a few months ago may be of some help:

http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/forum/ ... p?p=109325

I think a lot depends on what the journey is like. Is is (a) a peaceful one where he can get on with some homework or (b) a friendly one with a gang of like minded boys to chat and hang out with?

Or is it (c)a lonely bus ride too bumpy to read or work or (d) a nerve janglingly noisy one with crowds of teens throwing food and insults at each other? Or - worst case scenario here - (e) an opportunity for 2 hours bullying a day?

I've known children with all 5 sorts of journeys and in my opinion, it's not a too long day if the journey is an a or a b, but you might need to rethink if it's a c,d or e.