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 Post subject: Why the bad reputation?
PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 10:03 am 
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Posts: 316
Although I haven't been a member for very long, I have always found this forum very useful and people, in general, to be very helpful. As a result, I have been really surprised to read some pretty derogatory comments about the site on other forums, basically along the lines that everyone on here is completely obsessed (which may wll be true :twisted: ) and is stressing that darling Milo only got 98% in his last practice paper!

You only have to read a thread like "Attitude" in the Beyond 11 plus section to realise just how fantastic and supportive people on this forum can be.

Just trying to redress the balance a little :D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 10:49 am 
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I didn't know there were other sites until recently.What are they called? :shock:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 10:53 am 
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Not necessarily eleven plus specific sites, just sites where education is discussed - mumsnet secondary education forum for example.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:07 am 
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Location: Warwickshire.
But if you look at how some fora are operated...they get horribly personal and unhelpful on some threads on that particular website mentioned in the above post... At least this one is well-moderated!

I suppose that any forum/website dedicated almost exclusively to one small area of life - predominantly selective education - is going to appear rather extreme to some. Just off to set up the 9 hours of tuition that my poorly daughter is going to have from her sickbed today.
:mrgreen:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:22 am 
I find that many of the posters on these other forums tend to become defensive of people who choose to follow a different route to them when it comes to their children's education and therefore criticise them to make themselves feel better.

We may all get momentarily stressed and obsessed by things that other people feel are not important but then I feel that about other people. For example I know a family of 4 who spend £30k+ on season tickets and touring all over the country with their team whilst sending their two kids to the failing school. Of course that is acceptable but stressing about whether your DC is going to get into the only decent school in the area is not. :roll:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 12:12 pm 
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Yes, I agree with the OP as I have also noticed such comments about this site elsewhere, in particular the one mentioned. I've recommended this site to people there and on netmums, the latter I have found to be far less touchy! I have also been on the receiving end of some rather curt and uncalled for comments on the MN site, which doesn't seem to happen on NM and I'm sure would not be tolerated here. For example I once asked for advice on how to deal with an issue we were encountering as genuinely concerned but relatively inexperienced parents going through the teenage phase, and was immediately flamed and accused of meddling! :roll:

I tend to avoid that site now, it's much more friendly around here...thanks mods! :)

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 12:23 pm 
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2outof3 wrote:
on other forums

Are there other forums? One is quite enough for me.

Quote:
darling Milo only got 98% in his last practice paper

I can see why some would find that annoying; i've never posted (I hope) specific results or particular child related (academic, sport or otherwise) successes for that reason. (OK... once or twice... :wink:)

What this forum does have is very good support from people who really know the answers... particularly IMHO in the Appeals section...

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:42 pm 
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Maybe they are the same parents who say that their little Milo is not being tutored.

One parent at DS's former school claimed that they were not doing any extra work, tutoring etc - it has emerged through the friend of a tutor that she is providing tutoring at their home 3 evenings per week


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 4:06 pm 
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This kind of links in with my comment on another thread. I think some people like to be seen as too 8) to stress over DC education.

Some very good parents actually don't and their DC seem to be very self motivated as a consequence and do very well.

Other supposedly 8) parents are just as stressed but put up a front as they like to fit in with their peers.

Having said that the Milo comment though exaggerated does have an element of truth behind it. There are some posts that do panick you into thinking unless your DC is scoring in the 90's they may as well forget it. Having succesfully got my DS1 through the test I have actually listed his mainly 70's practice scores in response to a question in my area to try and prevent others panicking the way I did when I read these posts. and am actively going round some posts to reassure other possibly unneccessarily worried parents.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:29 pm 
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Location: london
Tolstoy wrote:
.....
Having said that the Milo comment though exaggerated does have an element of truth behind it. There are some posts that do panick you into thinking unless your DC is scoring in the 90's they may as well forget it. Having succesfully got my DS1 through the test I have actually listed his mainly 70's practice scores in response to a question in my area to try and prevent others panicking the way I did when I read these posts. and am actively going round some posts to reassure other possibly unneccessarily worried parents.


Tolstoy I think you are quite right. I don't particularly like the sneering remarks (which strike me as pretty sad and uncool as well!) but thinking about it I do remember how shocked I was when when I first came onto the forum. Firstly at the amount of tutoring/coaching/homehelp whatever you want to call it that appeared to be being done and secondly at some of the 'crowing'...'Milo only got 150% in his age 18 mensa test blah blah blah is he grammar material?' type questions. I am completely addicted to the forum now, I think it provides valuable information (especially about appeals) and that you learn over time to take some of it with a pinch fo salt. That said, I only disovered it after DD1 had passed her exams, had I seen it earlier (unless it was [i]much much[/i] earlier I think I would have really really panicked!

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