Just come across this article http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article6908053.ece
saying that certain 'tough love' attributes passed on by parents enable their DC to get on in life.
I like the three attributes needed to get on -
1. application - defined as the ability to concentrate and stick with tasks
2. self-regulation - whether someone can control emotions and bounce back from disappointment
3. empathy - the ability to be sensitive to other people.
Also liked the marshmallow test - if a child can avoid the temptation of eating the sweet in front of them now in order to get 2 or 3 later, then they would do well at school.
Might try it later