Confidence building
Moderators: Section Moderators, Forum Moderators
Don't know if this will help, but I notice quite a few posters report similar circumstances - not just the lack of confidence, but the abilities of an older sibling with whom there were none of these problems
I don't think it's a simple interpretation of the problem, but I do think the successful older sibling has some bearing - and I think this is perhaps the reason why a tutor might be more successful in restoring confidence. Maybe the parent is too close to the situation?
It's all just amateur psychology on my part, so feel free to ignore. But I thought I'd mention it in case it means something to anyone else.
I don't think it's a simple interpretation of the problem, but I do think the successful older sibling has some bearing - and I think this is perhaps the reason why a tutor might be more successful in restoring confidence. Maybe the parent is too close to the situation?
It's all just amateur psychology on my part, so feel free to ignore. But I thought I'd mention it in case it means something to anyone else.
-
pixiequeen
- Posts: 378
- Joined: Thu Nov 27, 2008 12:06 am
More amateur psychology here (and my DD2 who is the same (very bright no confidence) is only year 2) - This is a fear of failure thing, isn't it? My DD2 constantly says 'I can't do it, everyone else is cleverer than me,' when we think that actually what she means is 'because I'm not 100% sure I'm going to get this right I'm too frightened to try incase I look silly for getting it wrong.'
It takes her ages to write anything at home because she checks every spelling, all her punctuation, re-writes every sentence and produces about a quarter of the work she should have done in the time. I know that learning to fail is key here but don't know how to go about it. I have been encouraging her to use her own spellings without checking when she writes, since she is right 90% of the time anyway and have asked school to try and reward her when she tries hard, rather than when she is successful.
DD1 will take 11 plus this autumn so we (hopefully!) may also find ourselves in a sitution where an older sibling has already been successful.
Keep us posted about what you decide to do and whether it works, MrsChubbs.
It takes her ages to write anything at home because she checks every spelling, all her punctuation, re-writes every sentence and produces about a quarter of the work she should have done in the time. I know that learning to fail is key here but don't know how to go about it. I have been encouraging her to use her own spellings without checking when she writes, since she is right 90% of the time anyway and have asked school to try and reward her when she tries hard, rather than when she is successful.
DD1 will take 11 plus this autumn so we (hopefully!) may also find ourselves in a sitution where an older sibling has already been successful.
Keep us posted about what you decide to do and whether it works, MrsChubbs.
[quote="Jazz"]Don't know if this will help, but I notice quite a few posters report similar circumstances - not just the lack of confidence, but the abilities of an older sibling with whom there were none of these problems
I don't think it's a simple interpretation of the problem, but I do think the successful older sibling has some bearing - and I think this is perhaps the reason why a tutor might be more successful in restoring confidence. Maybe the parent is too close to the situation?
[quote]
oh dear, we're the opposite! Over-bearingly confident younger child steam rolling up behind easy going number 1 who is now freaking and writing himself off - maths, vocab, actually more or less anything academic, since DS2 is claiming it fast, like a shark consuming plankton in its wake. Fear that DS1 is planning to major in MSN and fac*bo*k (not sure if allowed to mention).
I don't think it's a simple interpretation of the problem, but I do think the successful older sibling has some bearing - and I think this is perhaps the reason why a tutor might be more successful in restoring confidence. Maybe the parent is too close to the situation?
[quote]
oh dear, we're the opposite! Over-bearingly confident younger child steam rolling up behind easy going number 1 who is now freaking and writing himself off - maths, vocab, actually more or less anything academic, since DS2 is claiming it fast, like a shark consuming plankton in its wake. Fear that DS1 is planning to major in MSN and fac*bo*k (not sure if allowed to mention).
Well this is where we are up to
Spoke to DD's teachers and impressed with their understanding and suggestions. Recognised DD's lack of confidence and suggested specific activities to practise at home to boost it. Are giving her lots of praise in class (when due), asking her to mentor a weaker child in how to do maths method when she has mastered it. Given chance to sing a small solo in school play when she expressed an interest. Also taking encouraging approach when she thinks she can't do something and asking her to say to herself in her head "I can do it, I will do it", and then trying to answer when they think she does really know the answer but is lacking the confidence to say so.
Don't know if this helps anyone else but will let you know how this progresses.
Don't know if this helps anyone else but will let you know how this progresses.