What age can I leave the kids alone in the evening
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T.i.p.s.y
What age can I leave the kids alone in the evening
OH and I go to a choral society which starts at 7:30 and finishes at 9:30pm meaning we would leave at 7pm and arrive home at 10pm. Could I leave an 11 year old at home with his brother? We have never done it and am not sure we could but my mum used to leave me at a much earlier age and I think I'm ok (involuntary twitch). 
This is not normally an issue as the boys are at boarding school but we did miss two vital rehearsals in January and it will happen again. So at what age would this scenario be appropriate?
This is not normally an issue as the boys are at boarding school but we did miss two vital rehearsals in January and it will happen again. So at what age would this scenario be appropriate?Hi Tipsy. I have 2 DC's age 16 and 11 and I have left them alone for a short period like you are suggesting. since eldest was about 14. I always tell our next door neighbour what is happening so she can keep an eye on them and also have mobile phones handy. They are advised to not answer the front door or the house phone as you don't know who it might be and we always phone them at regular intervals to check all is ok.
Tipsy, I'm not sure but I think if you're going to leave one child in charge of another then the youngest the child in charge can be is 14.
If a child is on their own there is generally no given age, but I believe the circumstances must be such that they should not be in danger.
I would imagine it would be ok for you to leave the 11 year old on his own, but not to be responsible for his younger brother (assuming the other brother is younger that is).
If a child is on their own there is generally no given age, but I believe the circumstances must be such that they should not be in danger.
I would imagine it would be ok for you to leave the 11 year old on his own, but not to be responsible for his younger brother (assuming the other brother is younger that is).
I leave DS at home for periods of 1-2 hrs and only when I am very nearby ( popping to Tesco etc). I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him in the evening though.
I think they are better on their own than with a sibling because they do tend to argue/fight
and you don't know how far the disagreement might go! 
I think they are better on their own than with a sibling because they do tend to argue/fight
and you don't know how far the disagreement might go! -
T.i.p.s.y
Thanks for the response so far. To be honest the thought of leaving them terrifies me - I doubt I would enjoy my evening so it would be pointless. I feel that leaving the eldest alone would be a safer bet because they then couldn't get into a fight! But then if he was alone and injured himself there would be no one to assist him.
Another point is he has asthma and a bad attack can come on out of the blue. Unless it improves as he goes through puberty (can go either way at this age) I wonder if I can ever leave him alone post 16.
I may consider leaving them for an hour during the day time to pop to the local shop, which is walking distance, if I need to pick up some dinner but will leave the evening for another couple of years - as mentioned, 13 or 14.
Isn't it strange that I feel more comfortable letting them go into Ealing town centre for an hour or two to buy Christmas presents or to get a pint of milk at the local shop and yet leaving them in the safety of their own home seems worse.
But then if he was alone and injured himself there would be no one to assist him.Another point is he has asthma and a bad attack can come on out of the blue. Unless it improves as he goes through puberty (can go either way at this age) I wonder if I can ever leave him alone post 16.
I may consider leaving them for an hour during the day time to pop to the local shop, which is walking distance, if I need to pick up some dinner but will leave the evening for another couple of years - as mentioned, 13 or 14.
Isn't it strange that I feel more comfortable letting them go into Ealing town centre for an hour or two to buy Christmas presents or to get a pint of milk at the local shop and yet leaving them in the safety of their own home seems worse.
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hermanmunster
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kids can babysit from 14 hence a 14 year old can be left in charge of the younger sibling at that age.
Kids can be left younger provided they are not respnsible for the other.
There is (surprisingly) no legal limit at which you can leave kids alone - problem arises if there is a problem and parents could be held responsible if anything happens.
When I was at primary school there were some kids who at the age of 6 or 7 walked home and let themselves in and were alone until the mother got home from work.
Kids can be left younger provided they are not respnsible for the other.
There is (surprisingly) no legal limit at which you can leave kids alone - problem arises if there is a problem and parents could be held responsible if anything happens.
When I was at primary school there were some kids who at the age of 6 or 7 walked home and let themselves in and were alone until the mother got home from work.
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T.i.p.s.y
I suppose things were different then and I was a girl! We leave our 11-yr old alone for short periods (about an hour or so) and he's on his own after school for about an hour a couple of nights a week. We wouldn't leave his sister (9) alone with him or on her own and I wouldn't leave him for more than an hour if I could help it.
At such times it's best not to torture yourself imagining the things they might do and under no circumstances remember what you did yourself at that age when left unsupervised (it amazes me that I survived to teens, never mind adulthood, and I was a very quiet child - but with an enquiring mind...which they've inherited (could do with a "gulp" icon here)).
Mike
At such times it's best not to torture yourself imagining the things they might do and under no circumstances remember what you did yourself at that age when left unsupervised (it amazes me that I survived to teens, never mind adulthood, and I was a very quiet child - but with an enquiring mind...which they've inherited (could do with a "gulp" icon here)).
Mike
we've left ours (13 and 11) alone together occasionally when at dinners or parties in the village.
Our village is, touch wood, very safe. There was a break in, I think, to a house in 2003, when the windows were wide open but that's about it, really. And our house is tucked away - i didn't know it was there til we bought it, but there are neighbours. And the dog (hollow laugh - not much of a guard dog, but an obstacle to plans of a burglar). And mobile phone glued to my DS1. So we have done it, but I think we are in a good position to do it, and I would only risk it locally, I like to know I could be back in 5 mins. What we do is promise them a fiver each for good behaviour (much cheaper than a babysitter), tell them they are in charge of themselves and say that the neighbours will report any bad behaviour (they haven't got wise to the absurdity of this one yet). And I phone about 4 times.
The tipping point came when we had a new 15 year old babysitter. The others, hundreds of them over the (expensive) years had been pretty good then this one, a sister of another, slouched in, hand toying with her mobile. I was explaining everything to her (bored face). Then realised I was finishing every sentence with "DS1 will explain ..." or "DS1 will tell you this ..." and thought, what AM I doing parting with twenty, twenty five quid to this numpty when my boy (v sussed since birth - knew my mobile phone number at 2, etc) will be running the show!
Our village is, touch wood, very safe. There was a break in, I think, to a house in 2003, when the windows were wide open but that's about it, really. And our house is tucked away - i didn't know it was there til we bought it, but there are neighbours. And the dog (hollow laugh - not much of a guard dog, but an obstacle to plans of a burglar). And mobile phone glued to my DS1. So we have done it, but I think we are in a good position to do it, and I would only risk it locally, I like to know I could be back in 5 mins. What we do is promise them a fiver each for good behaviour (much cheaper than a babysitter), tell them they are in charge of themselves and say that the neighbours will report any bad behaviour (they haven't got wise to the absurdity of this one yet). And I phone about 4 times.
The tipping point came when we had a new 15 year old babysitter. The others, hundreds of them over the (expensive) years had been pretty good then this one, a sister of another, slouched in, hand toying with her mobile. I was explaining everything to her (bored face). Then realised I was finishing every sentence with "DS1 will explain ..." or "DS1 will tell you this ..." and thought, what AM I doing parting with twenty, twenty five quid to this numpty when my boy (v sussed since birth - knew my mobile phone number at 2, etc) will be running the show!
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T.i.p.s.y
