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PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 5:10 pm 
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Location: Maidstone
I am just coming from parents evening and I am feeling really down and think my DD has been let down. I felt like just telling the teacher I was going to home educate her as it seem like its really a waste of her 6 hours daily.

Firstly my DD is a chatty girl and would easily get influenced by others. On discussing how she was progressing, I mentioned to teacher that I know sometimes she gets things wrong id she doesnt concentrate fully. Thats really when it went downhill for me. The teacher advised me that she was sitting between pupil who may need additional help and my DD has now been doing work in pairs instead of her own. She says she has noticed in recent weeks how she gets things wrong because she is trying to work with these other pupil and when she asks her to do it on her own she gets it right. She then says she will look at moving her from where she currently sits

I looked through her books and there quite a bit comments advising DD to do the work on her own. What dissapointed me is that her work seem to have really gone down too. If the teacher knew this problem why hasnt she sorted it and moved her from where she sits all this time. I feel like they look after those struggling and those in the OK are just left to their own. With my DD choosing to help others instead of her own work

I really think right now I need to spend an hour a day with her so she catches up. The teacher tells me she is above her targets but seeing her work tells me otherwise. I honestly feel like what the heck is she doing all those 6 hours....

On the positive note, there is no way I am going to be complacent now and leave this school determine the future of my DD. Its a mediorcre state school but I still expect them to do their job and then I do my part in helping her. Now I really dont believe at all that a child can do well wherever she is, not in our case..sorry rant over


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 5:16 pm 
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Aww, Sherry, what year is she in?

At least you have picked up on the issue and can help her at home.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 5:23 pm 
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She is in Year 5 and yes we still have about 9months to 11+ and nearly a year on entrance exams but still I expect the school to do their part rather than DD helping out others at her expense...Imagine if I hadnt brought the subject she will still be sitting with these kids and yet teacher was FULLY aware it was impacting her work


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 6:22 pm 
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One way to look at it, is that at least you have a chance to nip the situation in the bud.
Be firm about having her moved.If the teacher herself has repeatedly flagged up this issue in her book then don't take no for an answer.
It won't hurt to do some things at home with her.Look for some fun CD Roms and websites that support aspects of her learning you are concerned about.
Go back to the teacher and say you would like an update in a few weeks about her new seating position/progress.
I am a teacher Sherry_d but as a mum, over the years I have worried about coming over as a "pest".Ultimately no one else is going to look out for your DD othe than you.In a class of 30, lots can get overlooked.
Most of all, don't fret because time is on your side.You have more than enough time to remedy the situation and try to focus on the positive.Your daughter may well turn out to have good social skills, the X factor of the other thread. :wink:


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 6:41 pm 
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Chelmsford mum wrote:
Your daughter may well turn out to have good social skills, the X factor of the other thread. :wink:


This definately put a smile on my face CM and rubbed off the tears I had earlier on:D

Beginning to think the pressure of preparing for the 11+ and CE is getting the better of me. Gosh if I am stressing, how about my DD. I tried to hide how gutted I was and still told her how fantastic she is doing and that she needs to focus on doing her own work.

I will definately follow up to make sure she is moved and see how she gets on.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 6:58 pm 
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Glad you are feeling a bit cheerier. :D I really believe that you still have time well on your side.
Also remember these meetings are so brief that when the teacher moves to a "negative", it can seem to dominate the whole 5 - 10 mins.If they had all the time in the world(or even 20 mins), they would have lots more that is positive to say.
Whilst you have that sinking feeling about what they are saying, they have already moved on mentally to the people waiting next.
best wishes
CM :D


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 12:51 pm 
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Sherry_d, no consolation but I would feel the same too. Hopefully the seating move will make the difference. Things can make a difference startlingly fast with a child.

I find this whole parents' evening thing a bit silly too. If you could get to see their books regularly, you'd have a jolly good idea yourself what was going on - if their written work etc was what you would have expected, and it would be easier to provide relevant back-up at home at the right time. Being delivered a surprise on parents' evening is no help to anyone - neither child, or parent or teacher.

Instead everything seems to happen in relative secrecy, apart from general letters home telling you "what we are covering this term" which tells you nothing about what your particular child might be doing this month, this week, let alone today, or how they are doing.

But, although you might have been disappointed with her written work or whatever you did see in the books, this does not mean that what she can do really has gone downhill. You are just seeing the work of someone who has been distracted and had less time for her own stuff during the written work time. She will still be taking in the whole class stuff taught from the front, and her understanding of some things might be greater through having explained them to another child. Who knows?!

But don't let it stop you just ploughing on with whatever 11+ / CE prep you are doing. Frustrating as it is, it probably won't make much difference in the great scheme of things.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 1:19 pm 
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My DD has constantly moved desks at primary. In one class there was a child that had severe behavioural issues, and he was rotated around the class so each child was not disadvantaged.

I would be inclined to believe that your child will be moved.

Even disruptive children need someone to sit next to them. By rotating desks, teachers try to ensure fairness.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 1:56 pm 
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Location: Maidstone
Rotating desks seems like a noble idea. I will see that she gets moved and I am waiting until after half term

She sits between boys and she has stated several times that these boys are really naughty and they get punished a lot. I remember her saying one time she hated sitting next to these boys and I told her off for that.

I am feeling all cheery again. I am just taking it positively now and I will just make sure she gets moved and see how she gets on with what we are doing together. The truth is no one really cares that much about where my DD goes or how she achieves more than me, so I will take it upon myself to just help her.

Infact thinking of it now maybe this was really the first ever useful parents evening I had. In most cases it was just yeah she met all her target and is above target in this and this. But because I did really went in and had questions, this was a bit deeper and I unravelled some not so good stuff and maybe got better feedback (not to my 100%) liking of course. I even got detailed information about her sentence construction and panctuation etc. She stated thats she does very well in maths when she works on her own so it wasnt all doom as I thought after leaving the meeting. :roll:


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 12:15 pm 
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sherry_d wrote:
She sits between boys and she has stated several times that these boys are really naughty and they get punished a lot. I remember her saying one time she hated sitting next to these boys and I told her off for that.

At my DS's school they are seated alternately according to gender. My DS hates being between girls, "they're so BOSSY!" he wails. Perhaps that's when the rubber throwing begins? (hastily adds, not that MY DS of course would do such a thing; the thought!)

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