11+ sabbotage!

[T.i.p.s.y]

What do you do if your child purposely tries to fail an exam to get into the school of your choice? I have a friend whose son did this recently and my youngest, who does not know about this incident, told me the other day that he is going to do this as he doesn't want to go to a certain school. I have tried to ask him why but his responses are pretty immature. I have tried to convince him of the benefits, included bribery, but TBH he is the type of kid that likes to do the opposite of what I want. Has any one experienced this?

[Ed's mum]

No, but I'm surprised that we haven't had this as a topic before. I've always wondered about this. Let's face it, clever children can think about this as an option without too much effort. I did wonder at one point whether my son was going to do just that actually.

[hermanmunster]

maybe you try to stop being openly bothered about which school they go to .
Lock away all the brochures, get some new car / holiday brochures instead. If DS asks anything about schools, just say you hadn't given it any thought lately, you've been too interested in other things and how about the school round the corner?

Potentially high risk I know - but maybe he is getting tired of the discussion about exams , but if you change track he might just get interested in the school purely to be contrary.

[doodles]

Herman, I like the way you think....

[moved]

DS semi-did this in year 5. Only the school's internal exams but he set himself a target of half the time. He didn't want to be first in class anymore.

Sometimes their immature comments are indicative of something else.

DS1 didn't like being the "freak geek" at school, so he tried to change this in his limited and immature way.

[Marylou]

11+ is very much opt-in in our area, and since the local comprehensive is quite popular I think there must have been a few instances of bright candidates blowing the exam just to be with their mates. However, you have to be clever enough to miss by just a few marks though...not sure how easy that is!

DS (Y4) is now saying he doesn't want to go to a different school from his friends...so we have an interesting couple of years coming up..

[Amber]

My DD assured us she would do this if we made her sit GS exams when it was her time a few years ago. To be honest, it only proved what we were thinking anyway - that the supergrammars round here would not have suited her. Her school at the time actually suggested we put her in for the exam, let her pass, and then not take the place, 'just to prove that she could do it'. At this point she stepped in and promised to fail. So we did not enter her. Right decision? You bet! She was so very right and would almost certainly have hated the school/s and is doing very well where she is.

So, just maybe, if a child says they will do this, there is a good reason and they should at least be listened to.

[teffi]

The husband of my best friend from school deliberately failed his eleven plus. He left lots of blank spaces on the answer sheet. His friends were going to the comp. He is 10 years older than my friend therefore this goes back to around 1967. He maintains that, had he been told that the grammar school had a whole afternoon of cricket training on Wednesdays in the summer he would have tried to pass!

[Marylou]

I think the issue with DS is going to be peer pressure. I've noticed that he seems to be far more susceptible to this than his two older sisters were. True, they would have liked to go to school with their friends but were mature enough to see the bigger picture. And they still see plenty of their primary school friends - even now, the younger one is spending a few days with her best friend who has just moved to another part of the country (which also proves that even if they do end up at the same school you never know when circumstances will change... )

[katel]

just goes to prove that we can't relive our own lives through our children!