Can anyone tell me.....

Amber · Post by **Amber** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:46 pm

The trouble with situations like this is that because you are upset and naturally protective of your DC, you start to feel disempowered and it is easier for those in 'authority' (the school) to make you feel inferior and you then tend to back down. (By 'you', I mean 'one'). Please don't let this happen - you are in the right here, you should be strong and keep fighting for what you want. It is not unreasonable, you are not asking for him to do anything which the vast majority of secondary school children are not doing already. And we are all behind you!

mike1880 · Post by **mike1880** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:51 pm

The key point is that at the moment they're making it your problem; make it their problem instead.

Mike

Looking for help · Post by **Looking for help** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:01 pm

Hi doodles, yes there are two other children travelling with him, and they have phones. The funnies thing was that last Monday I let him leave it at home, they ended up so late for school becuase the trains were delayed, and they were at a loss about what to do, fortunately one of the others had his phone, so he could let us know what was happening. Amber - you are right, I feel like backing down, but I realise that I will have to take charge of the situation once and for all. Mike your idea is sound, I take on board what you are saying, I'm just a wee bit afraid of further antagonising the school.
Thanks everyone

doodles · Post by **doodles** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:09 pm

Could you meet the school face to face - sometimes easier than a letter - saying that as you and school are both coming from different ends it would be good to meet and try and sort out the problem so that there is a mutually acceptable outcome.

Amber · Post by **Amber** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:12 pm

If LFH is anything like me this seemingly very sensible suggestion might not be such a good idea. I tend to get very emotional over things like this and often end up in tears. It is only worth doing if you can be brilliantly strong and determined, so that your assertiveness isn't compromised. Or do you have an OH who might be able to go in, assuming he is not the weepy sort?

Looking for help · Post by **Looking for help** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:21 pm

Sadly the way I see it there is nothing really I can do, short of naming and shaming them to the council or our MP. When we first found out about the rule at the start of year 7 we explained our situation to the head of year and she was immovable. Since then we have hidden the phone, and kept it out of sight. Then it flared up again the week before last, and there were rumours of searches through lockers and belongings which was what prompted my letter. Sadly the head is as immovable as the HOY and pastoral care seems to be lacking altogether. I cannot imagine how she would feel should something happen to one of the children on their way home from school, and they had no phone to alert help. I am very disappointed, I had begun to believe the lack of response to my letter suggested a practice of turning a blind eye, but clearly not.
It is incredible in my view that in this day and age, there is not some compromise that can be reached. Actually Amber is quite correct, I am quite a nervous person, and do not like to confront. My OH is getting very irate about the situation, it is all I can do to keep him from barging in like a mad elephant and knocking some of the staff's head together. Normally very placid though

Amber · Post by **Amber** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:25 pm

it is all I can do to keep him from barging in like a mad elephant and knocking some of the staff's head together.

Let him do it!

Looking for help · Post by **Looking for help** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:29 pm

LandermereMum · Post by **LandermereMum** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:55 pm

Hi LFH and sorry your school is being so unhelpful about the phone situation. Notice you mentioned the school is Catholic and am wondering if an approach to the Catholic Church authorities would be useful. I do not know anything about church schools but would imagine your school falls into a diocese. Perhaps there is a "Head Office" you could ring and ask why such a policy exists at your school. Might be worth a try.

SSM · Post by **SSM** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:59 pm

Looking for help wrote: I cannot imagine how she would feel should something happen to one of the children on their way home from school, and they had no phone to alert help.

Can this situation not be 'arranged' for example the boys miss the bus one day and the parents then frantically call the school as the boys have not arrived home and as they have no mobile phones no one can contact them?

It might make the school realise how unreasonable they are being.