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PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:23 am 
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Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2007 2:02 pm
Posts: 662
Location: Herts
Sorry, just need to rant. Had my DS's parents evening last night - he is a summer baby year 5.

As soon as I sat down the Head (it was a double act due to a new class teacher) started moaning about how my son swings on his chair sometimes - she did say all the boys do it - going on about health & safety blah blah. Then started on how he fiddles if he's bored; doesn't put as much effort into the tasks he's not so interested in etc etc - I think you all get the picture :lol:

I had asked in advance for his current levels (due to a lot of disruption & several teachers already this year). The head made it clear she does not approve of giving out such information, but since I asked, had to tell me. My DS is a 5c in English & a 5c/b in maths.

I felt so deflated by all the negative stuff that I hardly registered at the time that these are pretty good grades for a 9 year old. I readily admit that my DS is not the best behaved child in the world and it's fair to say that school is something he endures rather than enjoys.

I just feel I can't wait for him to leave, but a year & a term is such a long time to go!! Does anyone else feel they can't wait to shake off primary school?!


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:30 am 
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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:32 pm
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Location: East Kent
could it be that he is bored? If he is scoring that highly he needs to be challenged. personally if they fiddle, fidget and swing and work I''m happy,


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:31 am 
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I think you do get that sometimes with primary. I was sorry when my son left his primary but he was ready to do so and totally relieved when my daughter left hers......

The scores are excellent ... maybe he finds the work too easy and they ought to occupy him more?


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:41 am 
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Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2009 12:51 pm
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The scores are very good!
What I don't understand is the head's attitude. If they have a problem with your son's behaviour they should have contacted you before parents evening. Parents evening should be about academic progress and with your DS's results it should have been about how well he is doing and could do even better if behaviour improved.
Frankly if teachers are so negative with a pupil with such good marks no wonder you DS is 'messing' around - he needs positive feedback, praise, challenging/interesting work - all the things good teachers offer.
Well done to him I say even if his teachers don't :)
Btw, my DD was also ready to leave primary v early and found yr 6 a real drag - too much emphasis on Sats (which she found boring) followed by 2 months of v unchallenging 'going through the motions' work (now loves her senior school). DS having marginally better year but starting to tire of Sats emphasis (which is why i don't do any with him). Think by end of school yr he'll be desperate to leave.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 11:02 am 
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If the teacher is having problems with your son's behaviour in class and she's not able to deal with it I should think that was her problem and not yours!

From what you describe I too would say he was bored with the work. Probably one of the first to finish and has nothing to occupy his time, therefore he fiddles (hardly the crime of the century though is it!).

Does he get a new teacher next year or does he have to put up with her again?

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 11:18 am 
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Agree with all the above comments - sounds like he may well be bored & the behaviour issues aren't so serious that they should need to be raised at parents' evening. Why can't the class teacher deal with them one wonders?

On a practical note I think I would talk to him about the chair tipping - not as naughty so much as a 'bad habit' - it is dangerous & I have seen quite serious accidents caused by it. Not a general 'nag' - just focus on this one issue as being important.Explain its not because he teacher doesn't 'like' it but because he is danger of hurting himself or others.

Could you suggest he has stress ball to fiddle with in class - on the understanding that he doesn't disturb anyone else with it? We had them a while ago in a school I was involved with because the were deemed to help children concentrate when listening to the teacher. Lots of children find it deifficult to sit still!

As to the not trying so hard with work he doesn't like - sounds fairly normal to me! I would suggest him being allowed to move on to a project or extension work that he does enjoy if & when he has put good effort in to a task he isn't so keen on.
While the teacher should be making sure his work is challenging there are bound to be tasks he doesn't enjoy - its up the teacher to find ways to motivate him not the parent!


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 11:40 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2009 3:38 pm
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Location: Maidstone
Tense

I really hope I can find and dig out my old thread when I felt exactly how you feel after the last parent evening. I was at my lowest and felt like crying but as DD was in the car, I couldnt. I just had to hold myself together but it really gave me even more determination to prove to them that my DD can do great things and they arent providing her with the support she needs.

Moving on after that moment, I asked for her cats that she did at the beginning of year 5 and they were dreadful and she perfomed really badly. In year 4, she had a very nice male teacher and then she actually met her year 5 targets then in maths and english so she was well ahead. I think the teacher she has now really doesnt like her and picks up on her quite a lot so it was painful looking at her work and how it has gone backwards instead of forward.

I felt like homeschooling her honestly, of course its not really practical at this stage but I have taken to educating her myself and I look at what she does at school as a bonus. She has gone heaps and bounds such that this weekend I feel confident to give her the first maths practice paper just to see how she gets on with it. Dont let anyone discourage you or the school. You know your child better and give her support at home in whatever ways you can. I work with her almost every school night now except friday and some odd days here and there. People will tell you all sorts of things and how to not over tutor, but if your child isnt getting a decent education at school and is sorrounded by negative people, what do you do, just sit and let it get worse and let them be another statistics of kids being failed by our state system? Not me I will do what it takes to get her where she ought to be.

Your DC is very clever with the marks they have but if they continue getting that negativity and being picked on by the teachers things can go downhill as we exprienced so you really need to encourage DC and boost their confidence.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 12:00 pm 
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Location: Buckinghamshire
I agree with the other comments ... your son's grades show he is doing very well :D as to him fidgeting etc., in class - it show's that he is bored and needs more stimulation. Something the school/teacher should recognise!!!

I do feel that children get to an age in Primary School where there is just not enough stimulation for them. However a good school/teacher should be aware this and try and work with that child, meeting their needs/abilities!

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 12:03 pm 
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Agree with all comments. You do have to sweep aside the negative comments and focus on the v big positives.
My DDs first ever parents evening (reception class, so DD was 4 and had been at school for half day for a term) consisted of class teacher saying to me:
"Well your DD doesn't really like school does she".
At which I replied, she does actually (she did). Teacher then continued in v negative vain. I ignored all she said and as year went on found the teacher was one of those with favourites who didn't take to my active, forward, bright, lively (but polite) 4 yr old. Consequently all teachers since have been an improvement!


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 12:09 pm 
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Location: Maidstone
heartmum wrote:
However a good school/teacher should be aware this and try and work with that child, meeting their needs/abilities!

I heartly agree with this but defending the teachers its near impossible to do this in a class of 30 nomatter how good the teachers are, in my DD's class they are actually 31 and they have kids lagging behind too and it just makes more logic to help these more than the ones well ahead. I have also heard most teacher arent equipped and dont have the resources to stretch the able and with the governement scrapping the G&T register, it shows these able pupils arent really their priority.

I think what they fail is to recognise is if the able arent stretched they can regress out of pure boredoom and end up doing some "naughty" stuff

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