Why do kid make you feel so guilty?
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Re: Why do kid make you feel so guilty?
You ARE right. It is a pain in the neck for teachers when parents prop up their children on this type of thing and then the children never learn. I remember doing this to my DD when she was 10 - the look of disbelief that I wasn't about to bail her out of trouble almost melted my ice-cold heart. Only almost though: and she still remembers the telling off she had, and having to stay in at break and do her homework. Real-life lessons are more important than the maths homework or the sports kit: no-one lets you off as you get older, so it is a case of cruel to be kind. (unless life-saving medicine really is involved - even I might make an exception then. Only might.)mad? wrote:You haven't and your are right. Doesn;t make it feel any better though does it?T.i.p.s.y wrote: Tell me I haven't damaged my child for life and that it's right to put my foot down? Please?
What a heartless old hag I am.
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T.i.p.s.y
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hermanmunster
- Posts: 12903
- Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:51 am
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Just trying to get my head round this ... never been a problem. Realised that as I can see school out of the window it is less likely to be a problem.
However, kids have to get a grip - DS and DD have useful school planners which should remind them what to take each day - the lists are always useful....
Only went tearing into school once:
- reminds me of the day the DS (aged about 6) and his father (aged a bit more than 6) had identical lunch boxes (no DH did not go into work with a noddy lunchbox
). Anyway call from operating theatre to say DH had found he had marmite sarnies and hence he had DS;s lunch box. While DH didn't mind he thought DS might not like ham cheese and pickle. Fortunately DH had got very peckish (about 10 o'clock) so there was time to dash into school with the requisite ...
However, kids have to get a grip - DS and DD have useful school planners which should remind them what to take each day - the lists are always useful....
Only went tearing into school once:
- reminds me of the day the DS (aged about 6) and his father (aged a bit more than 6) had identical lunch boxes (no DH did not go into work with a noddy lunchbox
). Anyway call from operating theatre to say DH had found he had marmite sarnies and hence he had DS;s lunch box. While DH didn't mind he thought DS might not like ham cheese and pickle. Fortunately DH had got very peckish (about 10 o'clock) so there was time to dash into school with the requisite ...I have a similar thing going on with my DS. He is always losing things, forgetting things etc. so after having an argument about something y'day and me still being in a bad mood with him today (I know I need to let it go but I can't!) I didn't remind him this morning that he needed to take an aerosol lid in with him (I have no idea what he needs it for) so I am waiting to see when I pick him up if (a) he got in trouble for forgetting it and (b) if he blames me for not reminding him, which I am sure he will.
Knowing my luck he won't have got into trouble at all and it won't have achieved the desired effect that he needs to start taking responsibility for himself!
Knowing my luck he won't have got into trouble at all and it won't have achieved the desired effect that he needs to start taking responsibility for himself!
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T.i.p.s.y
You're making me laugh twinkles! 
Now I don't want to bing up schools again as I've been relatively quiet on this front
but I think I've picked the wrong school for him. I knew it was a sink or swim school and my masochistic mind thought, "Get on with it". Now I'm not so sure. I keep waiting for him to sort himself out but so far, no. 
Now I don't want to bing up schools again as I've been relatively quiet on this front
but I think I've picked the wrong school for him. I knew it was a sink or swim school and my masochistic mind thought, "Get on with it". Now I'm not so sure. I keep waiting for him to sort himself out but so far, no. T.i.p.s.y wrote:You're making me laugh twinkles!
Now I don't want to bing up schools again as I've been relatively quiet on this front
mad?
Hi Tipsy,
I can't recall how old your DS is but i thought ALL 11ish year old boys were like this - because mine certainly is.
KB was voice of wisdom a few months ago when I asked when all this "chasing and reminding" would stop and she wisely adviced that it may never stop (based on one of her children who are at Uni and still need it).
Best that he learns through small issues like homework to prepare for the bigger things in life. The fact that you have posted on here shows that you are a caring and loving parent and don't let any situation make you forget that!
I can't recall how old your DS is but i thought ALL 11ish year old boys were like this - because mine certainly is.
KB was voice of wisdom a few months ago when I asked when all this "chasing and reminding" would stop and she wisely adviced that it may never stop (based on one of her children who are at Uni and still need it).
Best that he learns through small issues like homework to prepare for the bigger things in life. The fact that you have posted on here shows that you are a caring and loving parent and don't let any situation make you forget that!
If he is really having problems then its worth chatting to school & having some guidelines in place to help him.
In most cases it is lack of effort but some children have real problems getting organised & they do need help.(Not someone to take over though)
Just as (hopefully) we wouldn't yell at a child who couldn't catch a ball or do their times-tables there are some for whom all the telling off in the world won't help.
Still don't beat yourself up about geting cross though - I know mine have SLDs that make certain things hard for them but it still doesn't stop me getting annoyed sometimes:) And covering for him means the school don't see the problem so won't realise if he needs help.
In most cases it is lack of effort but some children have real problems getting organised & they do need help.(Not someone to take over though)
Just as (hopefully) we wouldn't yell at a child who couldn't catch a ball or do their times-tables there are some for whom all the telling off in the world won't help.
Still don't beat yourself up about geting cross though - I know mine have SLDs that make certain things hard for them but it still doesn't stop me getting annoyed sometimes:) And covering for him means the school don't see the problem so won't realise if he needs help.