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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 10:01 pm 
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Location: Maidstone
DD got a letter from school that next term they will be having s-e-x education and my DD was giggling when she showed me the letter.

I feel very uncomfortable at the thought of her being told all the stuff by some stranger but she told me that they are really shown some cartoons (year 6 told her) instead of people but I am still really torn. The boys will be separate from the girls when they do it.

I am just keen to know if the graphics are as I imagine it?

I really dont feel she is ready but at the same time I dont want her to miss out but the thought of even mentioning the 3 word letter to a 10year old horrifies me. Deep down I dont want her to see the videos but for how long should I wrap her in cotton wool? :?

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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 10:15 pm 
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sherry_d wrote:
Deep down I dont want her to see the videos but for how long should I wrap her in cotton wool? :?


I think parents just need to be there to support their dc's and answer questions, i dont think there's anything to be worried about. I think the schools will show age-matched material and kids tend often just to take in what they are ready for.

When dd2 was born i went through the "where babies come from" kids version with dd1(aged nearly 4) - she was full of questions etc. About a year latter she had forgotten nearly all of it :lol:

I always remained very open in my attitudes to questions being asked so that my dd's dont seem to be too embarrassed when asking me things. Not so long ago dd2 came home and said mum whats a coil - so i told her - no point beating around the bush!

Your dd may know more than you realise - kids chat and learn alot from each other :)


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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 10:19 pm 
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Hi - I reckon that on the whole it is better introduced gradually from an early stage - my kids seem pretty knowledgeable and chilled out about it - they have had bits at school from year 4 ish... (I think :roll: )

I understand how you feel - when DS was young I worked in GUM clinic .. We talked to people about S-E-X all day long :shock: but when I got home and he asked me what I did at work I was COMPLETELY tongue tied... it is the emotional involvement of YOUR child that makes it so difficult ..


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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 10:30 pm 
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Location: Maidstone
Sorry but I found and watched the video on utube. Its disguting and sickening and its just inappropriate for a 10year old and saying things like its the way to show you love each other when you have s-e-x and all the tosh. Totally inappropriate and I am actually angry and fuming thats what my daughter was going to watch. No wonder the boys and girls just want to touch each other inappropriately after that. more on the following link.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/ed ... rbing.html

Search "channel 4 living and growing you-tube" and you'll see the video.

I feel so strongly about the video and whoever thought it was approprioate. Its an utter disgrace and they should be ashamed. Was it necessary to repeat over and over that it's so much fun in the video?

This is disastrous, and this particular video epitomises the problem: it normalises recreational sex, as something fun and grown up. This is crime against children and is it any wonder that s-e-x education has failed?

Sorry couldnt help but rant as my feeling have turned into anger after watching the video. It seems it was some paedos who thought of showing this up to our kids. This is grooming our kids into sex peverts. Just pure disgusting. :evil: :evil:

It also seems interacial, its just a vile sickening video yet its only 1minute of a 15minute video thats on utube....arggrr....

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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 11:06 pm 
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Firstly of course every single person is entitled to make their own decision regarding these classes but I hope I can help a little.

I think this newspaper article is a little OTT in my opinion. My DS has just had their class on this subject and it was just all they needed to know & no more. He said they were shown a cartoon video of (hmm thinking how to word this, well being completely blunt so as to not make it sound sordid), well, just what could happen physically to his 'part' at his age , one other thing was a simple diagram of both male & female genitalia, labelling parts such as fallopian tubes etc.
That was it, no reference to the act of s.e.x. itself whatsoever, the girls had theirs separate to the boys & I very much assume it was based on the topic of periods.
If I've upset anyone with this content please feel free to remove but I just didnt want you feeling that it was as bad as you may think, sherry_d. :oops:
At our school they gave the parents all the option of viewing the video first, if your school hasn't offered then do ask as I'm sure they'll be more than happy to let you see it & approve it or otherwise. Just personally I wouldn't ever want my DC's to feel that they were the only ones missing out on a vital part of growing up with their friends, being left out can make them feel very ashamed to approach you about any issues about growing up along these lines, I know because I went there when my mum wouldn't help me with any answers. (i'm not suggesting you're like her in any way, shape or form trust me :) )
Also would she possibly ask a friend at school what was it all about & then hear a half true/half completely fantasised version??
As I said entirely up to you of course, we all know what's best for our own DC's after all :wink:


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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 11:13 pm 
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have you checked that this is the one they intend to show? havnt watched it but will check in tomorrow and have a look :)


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PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 12:03 am 
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Ok, ok, just seen these videos & if the boys one is the one my DS was shown the other day I'm a little surprised that the subject of w***ing was brought up in such a crude way!!! And I dont consider myself too much of a prude :lol: !!
I sat & watched all 3 videos (girls/boys/s.e.x.), the main criticism I have is that if I were a child of around 11, I'd have far more questions than answers???? To include all these childrens (thankfully) naive opinions but then not to correct it with facts beggars belief, why include it all??
I'm much more shocked that it's nowhere near factual enough to be worthwhile & nothing much more than kids opinion with a teeny-weeny bit of factual info, not at all what I expected, I don't mind admitting!!!


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PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 9:22 am 
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Well i wasn't concerned until i read these posts. Am now a little concerned about any dvd they may be shown and will consider whether to go to the school parent's preview.
Have always been open on the subject and do believe information is key - especially after DD came home one day from primary school and said her friends told her girls get pregnant by kissing. I then had a frank/rudimentary conversation with her and bought an age 'appropriate' book covering sex education and adolescence. I'll do the same for DS. Can't say we have 'big' conversations as such but both DCs do ask Qs from time to time, which i'm glad about, so hopefully anything confusing that may come up they'll ask me or OH.


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PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 9:46 am 
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Location: Wales
When DS had this lesson last year there was a boy in his class who had been a bit sheltered at home compared to the others. His parents just wanted to preserve his innocence a bit longer I suppose, but he did take part in the lesson. Unfortunately he became quite upset by it all and said he didn't believe it. The other kids, who mostly had older siblings and more open parents, laughed at him and then he started crying. I imagine the whole thing was quite traumatic for him.

I believe the best way, as others have said, is to be as open in discussion at home as possible (appropriate to age). I feel that this (home) approach demystifies the subject and minimises any embarrassment for the child, helping them learn that it's a normal part of life - one they will come to when they are older and ready.

When my DS had that lesson there were no great surprises for him and it was no big deal really. Making a huge fuss about it can only spark more curiosity or even give a child issues and trying to preserve their innocence for longer than their peers can make them a target.

* My opinions only - I realise this is a sensitive subject


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PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 9:58 am 
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Cats12 wrote:
Have always been open on the subject and do believe information is key.

Thats what I wanted too but really this isnt information more of someone's opinion on s-e-x. Things like "it should make you happy and wonderful with each other" or its sometimes a way of showing you love each other. I find that ditasteful. What I thought was it would be something factual not opinions on how wonderful it is and all the other nonsense. Was it really necessary to repeat over and over that it is so much fun?

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