Go to navigation
It is currently Thu Dec 08, 2016 2:11 am

All times are UTC




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 38 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Facebook
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 2:27 pm 
Offline

Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2010 11:35 am
Posts: 9
Location: Harrogate, North Yorkshire
I have just been looking on my dd's computer and discovered she has a Facebook account. I do not use Facebook myself and have always maintained that I would prefer said child not to use it. Mainly, it is because I have heard horrible stories about what goes on on the site.

Admittedly, she has only got people she knows as her friends, but there are pictures, yes they are nice and innocent and ones taken a couple of years ago so not showing what she now looks like, but there are still pictures.

I have not yet confronted my daughter about this, and not told my husband. Please help, should I confront her, or should I leave her be, yet continue to monitor her profile and talk to her if things get too heavy??

Thanks!! Beans *** :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :? :?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 2:45 pm 
Offline

Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:05 am
Posts: 349
How old is she? She needs to be over 13 to have an account.

What are her privacy settings?

If she is over 13, maybe you could set up a FB account and become her "friend" - that way you can monitor what is going on?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 2:49 pm 
Offline

Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 8:51 am
Posts: 8113
Hi - yes I managed to get to be my kids "friends" - can have some idea what is going on - best to do this early before they realise they would rather not have you there!!

A couple of friends have joined when their kids joined - they are using pseudonyms and pictures of dogs or cats so their DC's friends don't realise......

PS agreeda bout the privacy settings - can make it so that very little is visible to an outsider who is not listed as a friend - this has to be done via the account settings


PPS - just read the last bit of yr message - reckon the best way to approach it would be to join up yourself and say "wow!!! how exciting I've found you on facebook - will you be my friend"... it is a legit way of letting her know you know that she is on facebook without it looking as though you are snoooping


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 2:55 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:16 pm
Posts: 2113
Hi there,
I expect you will get a variety of responses.
I have 3 girls, the eldest of whom is 14 and has a facebook account.She can only have one if I have her password.Another alternative is to join yourself and become their"friend". However the latter option allows your child to filter what you see to an extent.
My daughter knows I look at her account.Her privacy settings are such that pictures are visible only to "friends" she has accepted.
However about a year ago she accepted a friend request from a "friend of a friend" who seemed harmless enough at first.To cut a long story short, he was 18 and ended up on FB chat , over time, asking her to go out with him.He would "teach her self defence" :shock: 18 is a man and she was 13 at the time.We blocked him and reported him.
Would she have told me if she didn't already know I had access and would have found out....? I hope so.She says so.I can't know for sure.
You have to be 13 to have an account.If you have one younger then you have to lie about your age.I , personally think that any younger is too young.There are various, inane quizzes that the kids can do and these get posted on their wall.For example " What is your favourite s-e-x-u-a-l activity etc ":roll: (And worse I am being discreet :oops: ) Your child doesn't have todo these quizzes to see them, they will appear in the news feed and walls of others.So ...obviously as i have access, if they are too distasteful I block that quiz and turn down the content from the news feed from that person.
You could ask why do I let her have it at all? Well 99 % of the time, it is good fun and a way for her to chat to her freinds and play some enjoyable games. Like all forms of internet use, it has to be monitored as it can be an access point for unwelcome information/ approaches to your child.
So that was a long reply...hope you are still awake.I would let her keep it with supervision if she is old enough.
Obviously at some point I will have to back off and stop the monitoring but not yet.
Hope that helps a bit. :D


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 3:11 pm 
Offline

Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2010 11:35 am
Posts: 9
Location: Harrogate, North Yorkshire
Thank you :D


I think I'll create an account and maybe use a picture of a dog or a cat, thank you for the suggestions!!! I'll be her friend, and monitor her profile. Thanks for the responses so far

Beans :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 3:17 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:20 pm
Posts: 4660
My dd has asked for a Facebook account, but then decided she didn't want one. The reason being all the bad news reports wrt bullying etc etc etc.

My dd does have an msn account with the provison she doesn't accept anyone who she hasn't personally met.

I've made her very aware of the dangers and she is a sensible girl ........... she also knows I will access her account whenever I feel like it to have a look at what's going on and who she's 'friends' with.

It's that time in their lives when you have to start letting go bit by bit and deciding which bits you can handle and which bits to leave until later.

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 3:17 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:16 pm
Posts: 2113
Me again,
Just had another thought regarding privacy and rather than post an incedibly long post I have sent you a pm :D


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 7:12 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2008 9:26 pm
Posts: 553
2 of mine have facebook accounts and I have told them they have to be my friend if they wish to use it. Periodically the 13 year old accidentally :evil: deletes me and I have to remind him to put me back on. I have promised never to post on their "wall". Didn't think of using a silly picture and false name but good idea.

I think it's good when they're older and move away, you have a few small glimpses into their world if they're happy to let you and I think many of them are by that stage.

Have noticed more of my friends finding me and adding me and it's a bit weird can almost feel myself getting sucked in.....


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 8:53 pm 
Offline

Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:47 am
Posts: 3310
Location: Warwickshire.
I'm totally sucked in! I even have a virtual garden!!
My son has an account. He does the silly quizzes and keeps in contact with friends on the site.

I'm his 'friend' and I am careful what I post (if anything) on his wall. As long as the privacy settings are looked at carefully, everything should be okay.

There was a poster (not long ago) who posted an horrific story - the crux of it was that it is important that your child does not use a photo of themselves for their profile picture.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 10:17 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2009 6:16 pm
Posts: 2113
I think a key issue here is only accepting friend requests from people you directly know.
My daughter accepted the friend request from the dodgy guy because he was friends with 3 friends of hers.He also went to the adjoining boys grammar ,where she has friends, at the time of accepting his request.By the time he became a problem the other girls had deleted him.( I suspect similar problems)
Worth mentioning that some of his contact was made through her inbox which you don't have access to if you are just their "friend" as a parent.
You cannot control what is posted to their wall until "after the fact."Of course then it can be deleted but even their genuine friends can post dodgy stuff.It is a largely positive thing but needs careful watching when they are in their younger teens I think.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 38 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

All times are UTC


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
CALL 020 8204 5060
   
Privacy Policy | Refund Policy | Disclaimer | Copyright © 2004 – 2016