How did DC's find their first day?

[Amber]

Just in case anyone is cruising this site hoping for comfort for DC who are not enjoying their first experience of secondary school: don't worry, you are probably in the majority. I am very aware looking here that all these children seem to be dancing in clover with excitement and enjoyment, and everyone is delighted with the outcomes. Which is lovely, of course, but...as someone whose first child detested every second of her first few of weeks at secondary, I do think that if one of those less fortunate Mums were looking at this, she would feel very alone. So if you are there, this is for you: mine loathed it, hated it, and we really thought about removing her. Then suddenly - ping! she loved it and has hardly looked back since. It is hard, it is a big adjustment, and they don't all like it straight away. There are many shades of normal reaction and crying, aggression,feeling very tired and reverting to younger behaviours are all among them. My DS has just started and I am keeping very quiet at this stage, hoping that the positive start he seems to have made will continue in the months and years to come. It is a massive adjustment for the whole family to make, and while happy stories are great to hear for those whose DC have taken to it like a duck to water, there will be far more out there who are bumbling from day to day and waiting for it all to just go away. Hang in there, it will get better!

[jingle]

Thank you so much for that Amber. I really needed it,but did not want to spoil the 'happy thread' for others. Will hang in there! Am perhaps not alone after all.

[Milla]

there's a few of these scattered throughout the site - it most def can take time; it did for my friend's son, a year, I think. Depends on a variety of factors. Normally comes good in the end. I'm lucky that both mine, while very different characters, have settled in quickly and responded well to the newness of it all but it's all a day at a time really. If you're worried about anything, Jingle, heads of year and form teachers are usually really keen to help iron out problems whether academic or social so don't be afraid to call!

[tiredmum]

at the beginning of this thread i posted that IMO starting secondary is hardly ever plain sailing - wherever they go. If you have a shy child it may take a bit of time until they feel in their comfort zone. We all so want it to be roses for our dc's but sometimes it isnt, sometimes they can learn from this too. There is something to be said for not rushing in - guns blazing. As my mum used to say things will come out in the wash - hmm what did she mean

[Milla]

In our house, currently, it's mobile phones which come out in the wash. 2 in one pocket. Which then disappear just at the point when the insurers finally decide to cough up (but need to see them first). Maddening. Aaargh.

[tiredmum]

In our house, currently, it's mobile phones which come out in the wash. 2 in one pocket. Which then disappear just at the point when the insurers finally decide to cough up (but need to see them first). Maddening. Aaargh.

in my house its washing flecked with tissue! And me shouting Who didnt empty their pockets? Why do they expect us to do that for them?
The other day i found a pound coin which was quite nice

[T12ACY]

Amber - you are quite right. DS1 (8 years ago) called me almost everyday from school in tears. Often from the toilet having asked to leave the lesson for a 'comfort break'. It was awful, and at times I thought we had made the wrong choice. He was sent home some days by a very thoughtful and caring school. They had seen it all before.... many times! We were encouraged to accept he would settle, it was just a big change and sure enough within about 6 months he was fine in school. Mind you we were still taking him to school and collecting him even though we were entitled to free travel for a whole year. Come Y8 he was happily settled in and hasn't looked back.

We have expected this kind of experience for DS just starting out at his new school because of the journey we have been on so were overjoyed that he simply loves it. (this could well change if they force him to cut his hair though )

[mad?]

If anyone needs cheering up this thread amused me 2 years ago.

http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/forum/ ... 48&start=0

No doubt all concerned are settled well now!

[scary mum]

There are always going to be some who don't settle so well, sadly. DC1 settled brilliantly from the first day, then in year 9 it all changed in an instant with a few unkind comments on facebook. You never know what is around the corner but I guess we all try to do what is best for our DCs, otherwise we wouldn't be on this site. DC1 has moved schools so I have had two starting a new school this term. So far so good for both, but early days.

Good luck to all for the ups and downs ahead.

[tiredmum]

There are always going to be some who don't settle so well, sadly. DC1 settled brilliantly from the first day, then in year 9 it all changed in an instant with a few unkind comments on facebook. You never know what is around the corner but I guess we all try to do what is best for our DCs, otherwise we wouldn't be on this site. DC1 has moved schools so I have had two starting a new school this term. So far so good for both, but early days.

Good luck to all for the ups and downs ahead.

practically exactly the same for y dd1 - settled reasonablly easily in year 7 but by the end of year 9 - after some "girls comments" she became not so happy - i agree you never know what is around the corner. So luckily it seems dd2 is loving the new experience of secondary school, and i will enjoy the moment and hope it lasts