Home Alone - At what age?
Moderators: Section Moderators, Forum Moderators
Re: Home Alone - At what age?
Reminds me of something I overheard during the recent cold snap:mike1880 wrote: When I was around 12-ish it was my job to light the fire when I got home from school .
DS: "Dad, can we light the fire today?"
DH: "You're a cub scout - you do it!"
Marylou
Re: Home Alone - At what age?
.
Last edited by Belinda on Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Home Alone - At what age?
I never leave all of them together because then they just get up to no good......the first and only time ds1 set fire to my shampoo bottle....ds2 gave the guinea pig a bath....and dd deleted all my sky recorded programmes
At least you can say they are experimental!
-
- Posts: 744
- Joined: Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:08 pm
- Location: Not in a hole in the ground but in a land where once they dwelt-the Beormingas
Re: Home Alone - At what age?
My mum used to get my eldest sister who was 10 to look after me (aged 1.5 yrs).
If I had a choice, I wouldn't leave some of my DC at home by themselves. But there are times when I really have to...(Especially as I'm kinda like a 'single mum'- DH lives away due to work and we only see him at the weekends )
Even though, they are well behaved (and it's not for long), I still do worry about it, all the same.
Some kids are remarkably mature at the age of 10-12yrs. I was really taken aback by some of the work that young child carers (like Victoria) do.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-11744836" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
If I had a choice, I wouldn't leave some of my DC at home by themselves. But there are times when I really have to...(Especially as I'm kinda like a 'single mum'- DH lives away due to work and we only see him at the weekends )
Even though, they are well behaved (and it's not for long), I still do worry about it, all the same.
Some kids are remarkably mature at the age of 10-12yrs. I was really taken aback by some of the work that young child carers (like Victoria) do.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-11744836" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Re: Home Alone - At what age?
Have just taken a look at this link. What an impossible situation. The child is torn between needing to do this for her Mum and a "normal" life but needs must. I cannot imagine what we would do in this situation. I sometimes wonder if we as a community need to support children in this situation more?Some kids are remarkably mature at the age of 10-12yrs. I was really taken aback by some of the work that young child carers (like Victoria) do.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-11744836" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
-
- Posts: 744
- Joined: Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:08 pm
- Location: Not in a hole in the ground but in a land where once they dwelt-the Beormingas
Re: Home Alone - At what age?
And she's been caring for her mum for six years...she's now 12 yrs old! : A remarkable girl.
Re: Home Alone - At what age?
I was tempted to bring up the issue of child carers earlier in the thread...why is it assumed that children such as this - simply because they are there - are able to look after other people, when theoretically they are not even old enough to look after themselves?
There is a double standard operating here. On the one hand you have social services advising that children should not be left alone below a certain age. On the other, those same authorities expect young children to perform the kind of duties which would be unthinkable to ask of them outside the home. As usual, it all comes down to money. Families such as this need professional help instead of the health/welfare authorities taking advantage of these wonderful young people, who often have no choice in the matter. Despite appearing cheerful for the cameras, it's inevitable that they will miss out on childhood, often fall behind with their schooling and are sometimes bullied for being "different". I have some experience of this situation from the child's perspective - though not as extreme as this - so kind of know how it feels.
Whilst I accept that all children should have a degree of responsibility (and I certainly expect mine to do their fair share), in cases such as this, far too great a burden is being placed on young shoulders.
There is a double standard operating here. On the one hand you have social services advising that children should not be left alone below a certain age. On the other, those same authorities expect young children to perform the kind of duties which would be unthinkable to ask of them outside the home. As usual, it all comes down to money. Families such as this need professional help instead of the health/welfare authorities taking advantage of these wonderful young people, who often have no choice in the matter. Despite appearing cheerful for the cameras, it's inevitable that they will miss out on childhood, often fall behind with their schooling and are sometimes bullied for being "different". I have some experience of this situation from the child's perspective - though not as extreme as this - so kind of know how it feels.
Whilst I accept that all children should have a degree of responsibility (and I certainly expect mine to do their fair share), in cases such as this, far too great a burden is being placed on young shoulders.
Marylou
Re: Home Alone - At what age?
Sorry - it was late and I didn't mean to kill the thread stone dead!
I think our deliberations above reflect how difficult it is to define a "home alone" age in law. All children are different, mature at different rates, and are capable of handling different things. As I and others have found, they are often fine on their own but lethal in combination. And, as Scarlett pointed out, if there are several children it's usually a case of "needs must" - e.g. leaving a child for a short while to take another one to school. Another thing that strikes me is that (with the exception of the child carers) the expectations we have of our children in terms of their level of responsibility have fallen considerably in just one generation. Perhaps we were the remnants of that bygone age when families were bigger and everyone had to do their bit, which for the older ones included looking after themselves and taking responsibility for their younger siblings. That's not to say that accidents never happened, of course. I'm not sure if things are better now, or not.
I think our deliberations above reflect how difficult it is to define a "home alone" age in law. All children are different, mature at different rates, and are capable of handling different things. As I and others have found, they are often fine on their own but lethal in combination. And, as Scarlett pointed out, if there are several children it's usually a case of "needs must" - e.g. leaving a child for a short while to take another one to school. Another thing that strikes me is that (with the exception of the child carers) the expectations we have of our children in terms of their level of responsibility have fallen considerably in just one generation. Perhaps we were the remnants of that bygone age when families were bigger and everyone had to do their bit, which for the older ones included looking after themselves and taking responsibility for their younger siblings. That's not to say that accidents never happened, of course. I'm not sure if things are better now, or not.
Marylou
Re: Home Alone - At what age?
Like you Jules7 I've been looking into this also; I think Belinda'a post sounds about right - leaving a child at home alone is discretionary and I believe so is babysitting although there are implications with babysitters under the age of 16, which is the NSPCC recommended age.
My DS just turned 15 and my DD 10. At age 10 I have left them max half hour ie. school pick up when other one ill, after school clubs etc. Aged 12 I left my son for maybe a few hours but never too far afield. It's built up from there, now we're happy to leave him most of the day - after all the last thing he wants is a day shopping or a day out in school hols doing what his little sis wants to do, instead he goes out himself or has a pre-arranged friend(s) come round. Only left him overnight once so far and we went out late and back early so he was in bed for most of it - can't decide if I'm comfortable with overnight...
However, like many have said, they bicker like crazy and even at the age of 15 he winds his sister up terribly so I think in our case it will be a while before I can leave them together. ...in fact by then he'll probably be on a night out and DD old enough to look after herself anyway! Having said that I have friends with children of similar ages who do manage to go out and children fine at home...lucky them!!
My DS just turned 15 and my DD 10. At age 10 I have left them max half hour ie. school pick up when other one ill, after school clubs etc. Aged 12 I left my son for maybe a few hours but never too far afield. It's built up from there, now we're happy to leave him most of the day - after all the last thing he wants is a day shopping or a day out in school hols doing what his little sis wants to do, instead he goes out himself or has a pre-arranged friend(s) come round. Only left him overnight once so far and we went out late and back early so he was in bed for most of it - can't decide if I'm comfortable with overnight...
However, like many have said, they bicker like crazy and even at the age of 15 he winds his sister up terribly so I think in our case it will be a while before I can leave them together. ...in fact by then he'll probably be on a night out and DD old enough to look after herself anyway! Having said that I have friends with children of similar ages who do manage to go out and children fine at home...lucky them!!
Re: Home Alone - At what age?
14 y.o loves being home alone and we are happy to leave for hours, with rules of course! 11 y.o wants to stay home, just being given small amounts of time again with rules BUT there is no way we could leave them together as we can't trust them not to fight (they are boys) etc. They would probably be ok but there is still the 1 percent of time when they can't stand each other and knowing our luck that would be when we are out! I think it really is an individual thing when you feel your child (and you) are ready and not easy with the first one