Children's Choices - How Would You Deal With It?
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Re: Children's Choices - How Would You Deal With It?
I am of the opinion that the choice is entirely down to the child. It's they who have to live their lives and be happy with it.
We have an opinionated Grandma, unfortunately, and she likes to open her mouth before she actually thinks about things. She also relates how things were 30/40 years ago and thinks things are still the same.
After her not allowing her own son to do as he wished when making choices, and him having to live with it ever since (admittedly the money's good, but is that really everything?) we are determined our daughter will make her own decisions.
It's just when someone puts a downer on a child's thoughts/dreams it can put them off before they've even had the opportunity to do it.
You could argue it wouldn't be right for the child if they were put off so easily, but when you have a forceful figure, whose opinion differs from yours, it doesn't take much does it!
I can see we shall have to tread carefully, but be determined at the same time
We have an opinionated Grandma, unfortunately, and she likes to open her mouth before she actually thinks about things. She also relates how things were 30/40 years ago and thinks things are still the same.
After her not allowing her own son to do as he wished when making choices, and him having to live with it ever since (admittedly the money's good, but is that really everything?) we are determined our daughter will make her own decisions.
It's just when someone puts a downer on a child's thoughts/dreams it can put them off before they've even had the opportunity to do it.
You could argue it wouldn't be right for the child if they were put off so easily, but when you have a forceful figure, whose opinion differs from yours, it doesn't take much does it!
I can see we shall have to tread carefully, but be determined at the same time
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Chelmsford mum
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Re: Children's Choices - How Would You Deal With It?
My 13 year old wants to be "an actress." She is genuinely good at drama and pursues it outside of school but good enough...who knows? I would, if she didn't change her mind, encourage her to have a back up plan as, as far as I can tell, most actors spend a lot of time waiting tables.
I always say to my children and they know the speech and can recite it.
"Get a good education, not because I want you to acquire lots of wealth but because you are a long time working in this life. Your life will be so much more enjoyable if you like your work.Education gives you choice."
This is usually followed by eye rolling and "yes we know!" I hope they do.It is their choice.I just hope they make the choice that will lead to the most fulfillment.
I always say to my children and they know the speech and can recite it.
"Get a good education, not because I want you to acquire lots of wealth but because you are a long time working in this life. Your life will be so much more enjoyable if you like your work.Education gives you choice."
This is usually followed by eye rolling and "yes we know!" I hope they do.It is their choice.I just hope they make the choice that will lead to the most fulfillment.
Re: Children's Choices - How Would You Deal With It?
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Last edited by Belinda on Thu Nov 01, 2012 1:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
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pheasantchick
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Re: Children's Choices - How Would You Deal With It?
Isn't there a song that goes "its not where you start but where you finish...".
I often think that people who are determined to pursue a certain career, whether its acting, or accountency, will succeed. As illustrated in earleir post, those who are encouraged to do 'proper' jobs sometimes end up resenting it.
Therefore, the actress may end up winning an oscar, and the car designer designing forumla 1 cars.
I thnik what I'm trying to say is that you never know where life may lead you, and the the child who starts with a saturday job at the local supermarket, may one day ending up running the company.
I often think that people who are determined to pursue a certain career, whether its acting, or accountency, will succeed. As illustrated in earleir post, those who are encouraged to do 'proper' jobs sometimes end up resenting it.
Therefore, the actress may end up winning an oscar, and the car designer designing forumla 1 cars.
I thnik what I'm trying to say is that you never know where life may lead you, and the the child who starts with a saturday job at the local supermarket, may one day ending up running the company.
Re: Children's Choices - How Would You Deal With It?
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Last edited by Belinda on Thu Nov 01, 2012 1:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Children's Choices - How Would You Deal With It?
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Last edited by Belinda on Thu Nov 01, 2012 1:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Children's Choices - How Would You Deal With It?
Agree totally Belinda.Belinda wrote:There's also nothing wrong with being 'ordinary'.
It seems some parents have a misguided view that their children should try and have 'status, recognition, admiration and respect from others for their career choice. Not so. It is those lacking in self-esteem themselves that foster such beliefs - and yes I am talking about the parents here!
ps I'm a cleaner! Then again maybe I'm a solicitor... Does it matter?
I tell my boys to work hard at school, because as others have said, the better qualified you are the more choices you normally have. If once they reach adulthood and choose to be say a dustman, then that's fine by me. If that's what makes them happy.
Re: Children's Choices - How Would You Deal With It?
Just heard on Radio 2 that a recent survey shows that the people who are the most unhappy in their jobs are those that work in the areas of finance or law!
Re: Children's Choices - How Would You Deal With It?
Glad to hear it - it's one of my greatest regrets that I didn't study law...my parents were not in a position to advise me, and careers advice at my school was virtually non-existent unless you wanted to be a nun or a teacher (or both!)tiredmum wrote:Just heard on Radio 2 that a recent survey shows that the people who are the most unhappy in their jobs are those that work in the areas of finance or law!
Knowing that I probably would have been miserable makes me feel a bit better about how things panned out. 
And as for the financial industry - no surprises there. Times like these would have you constantly looking over your shoulder!
Marylou
Re: Children's Choices - How Would You Deal With It?
Plum -
Would suggest that you investigate the requirements for being a car designer - you may well find that Physics & Maths are as important as Art.
Agree with others that its good to encourage DCs to keep options open & work hard on their education but also to support them in their 'dreams'. As long as they have a sound educational base thay can always change tack if the 'dream' doesn't work out.
We are blessed with a good income but DH has a very stessful job - I would much rather that DCs find a fulfilling career (as long as it provides a living wage) than pursue a high status future.
Would suggest that you investigate the requirements for being a car designer - you may well find that Physics & Maths are as important as Art.
Agree with others that its good to encourage DCs to keep options open & work hard on their education but also to support them in their 'dreams'. As long as they have a sound educational base thay can always change tack if the 'dream' doesn't work out.
We are blessed with a good income but DH has a very stessful job - I would much rather that DCs find a fulfilling career (as long as it provides a living wage) than pursue a high status future.
