Valentine's Disco - Should you have a boyfriend in Year 6?

[Plum]

At DS's old primary school, there were a number of couples. This involved the girls telling the boys that they were now one part of a couple! It didn't affect breaktimes at all but usually culminated with all the "couples" lining up at the school disco with their hands on each others shoulders, as far apart as possible, swaying side to side to Celine Dion's Titantic song (can't remember what is called). It is a sight to see! But that is as far as the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing went!

As for Yr 7 - DS is now in an all boys school and likes it that way. He did go to a disco last term and apparently, all the girls were on one side of the hall and all the boys were on the other side - long may it stay like that!

As for the Valentine's Disco for a primary school - what a daft idea!

[KS10]

There is a leavers' disco for Year 6 at DD's primary too. A letter goes out beforehand from the head which ends with "No stretch limos".

[scarlett]

I find many parents actually encourage their ( quite young ) children to have a boyfriend/girlfriend which I find rather strange.......most of the arguments my son gets involved in at school are due to one particular boy accusing ds of " fancying " his girlfriend ! ds finds all girls annoying and says he can't wait until he goes to an all boys school.The bizarre thing is the boy in questions mother is often off with me too.......as if I am encouraging my son to run off with this girl !

[turtleglos]

We always have halloween/valentines discos from reception through to yr6. The girls stay with their friends and dance, the boys run,slide play tag etc(whilst a few of us volunteers try to make them walk ) and they have a really good time.
Last yr my ds1 was told that he had to have a girlfriend as all his friends had 1.His friends took great delight in telling us that he had kissed her,not as much as we did teasing him though . They 'broke up' when she threw a tennis ball at his face hard enough to give him a black eye and we were able to tell him that this is what can happen if you don't wait for the right person to come along(preferably another 20yrs or so).

[cinnamon]

I remember overhearing with horrified amusement a Year 6 girl at my daughters' school telling her friends "I've never been dumped, I've always done the dumping"! Tough though it was, I resisted the urge to yell "YOU'RE 11 YEARS OLD".

However, thinking about it, I do remember a few 'couples' in my final year at primary school back in the olden days so this is hardly a recent development!

I think I agree with the majority that a Valentine's disco isn't quite appropriate for a primary school as it does rather suggest an event you attend with someone 'special' (yuck).

[Warks mum]

Oh dear - my mother must have been one of those terrible ones Magwich is talking about... I clearly remember her helping me choose a Valentine's card with a panda on it for my boyfriend when I was half way through primary school...

[ausvic]

Oh dear - my mother must have been one of those terrible ones Magwich is talking about... I clearly remember her helping me choose a Valentine's card with a panda on it for my boyfriend when I was half way through primary school...

I'm sure it didn't harm you, at this age it's all a bit of harmless fun

[KB]

I am sure most do think of it as harmless fun at primary school but then it becomes acceptable into teenage years & at some point in the mid teen turns from 'harmless fun' to a potential minefield.

Much better to encourge them to see friends of both genders as just that & to recognise that at least until University years any 'relationship' will almost inevitably end in tears & quite possibly the loss of a someone who could otherwise have been a great life-long friend.

Encouring involvement in other extra-curricular activities is a good distraction

[ausvic]

I am sure most do think of it as harmless fun at primary school but then it becomes acceptable into teenage years & at some point in the mid teen turns from 'harmless fun' to a potential minefield.

I do think some people are taking this a little too seriously. Kids will get into relationships whether their parents agree or disagree with it. If you try and keep a child away from something it often pushes them closer to doing it. My DSs go to a co-ed grammar and are more than happy to have girls as 'friends'. It is my friends' sons who go to single sex grammars that are after the girlfriends. Let them enjoy their childhood, if that means having a 'girlfriend/boyfriend' in their early teens I would rather that than encouraging them to wait until university. By the time they get there I would prefer they are out of the giggly stages with the other sex and concentrating on their studies.

I do think that this is entirely a personal view point subject and not everyone is going to agree about what is right and wrong. You just have to do what is right for your own child(ren). As long as my boys are happy, healthy, respectful and safe I can't see the harm.

[rachag]

Year 7 boy of a friend had a girl phone, text, send photos etc. He eventually refused to reply at all - then her sister started contacting him, saying sister crying, needed to talk to him, really depressed etc etc. He spent weeks fearful of phone calls, emails etc.
This may be exceptional and glad your sons not met anyone like this but they are around and a boyfriend /girlfriend culture too early does probably feed into this.